Deadline

Monday, December 24, 2007

failed slogans

"Jews! We came up with not eating pork first!"
"Libraries, not just for homeless people to search for porn!"
"AOL. Our business model is that we hope that people just forget to cancel us."
"Legalize Hemp, for shirt and ropes... that we can smoke!"
"Stereotypes. You have to admit; we are right most of the time!"

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Finally - A reason to go to strip clubs

In Hollywood imitation is the highest form of art. If something worked once for someone then everyone figures it will work for them. Also you can't lose y telling your boss that you are working on something that is working.

That's why agents are rushing to strip clubs.

The latest flavor of the month is computer programmer turned stripper turned blogger turned memoirist turned screen writer who wrote the over written "Juno."

That's why when you ask an agent where they've been all day, they will proudly tell you, "The strip club." These fearless men and one sexually harassed woman spend hours gawking at dancers taking off their tops to the latest R&B sensation or "Hell's Bells" from AC/DC and negotiating lap dances. "It's research," one high powered agent in training was overheard telling his assistant in training when he threw down a bunch of receipts from "Jumbo's Clown Room."
(Yes, as you can tell from the club, it was an ICM agent. That's their turf.)

Strippers too are getting into the act. Instead of telling a customer the classic tale of "just doing this to get through law school while raising a kid," the savvy stripper talks about the screen play they are writing about a teenager who speaks in pop culture references and (fill in the blank).

So if you are looking for the next Robert Towne or you have a screenplay you've been dying to write (and you're willing to add Emo Rock) I have one piece of advice for you:

"Get on the pole."

Monday, December 17, 2007

My Bad


Sorry Posh Spice, we thought you'd be more interesting. We'll stop taking your picture and writing about you now. NBC gave you a reality series about you moving to Hollywood. It was canceled during the first episode and became a one time special. (This was the new NBC-not the 90's NBC. They don't have much to replace you.)Sorry about that. Do you have a more interesting sister?

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Proof that Snoop is high

Can someone tell Snoop Dogg that he's rich and famous? He's a huge recording star, he doesn't need to do cameos on bad TV shows or be in crappy movies. He certainly doesn't need to do a faux reality show on E! How much could E! be paying him? $10.95?
It makes sense for Peter Brady and his reality show wife or the Kardashians who are not famous for anything to have one of those shows - but a certified hit maker? Why E!? Did he pitch it around and no one wanted Snoop on their channel? I doubt that.
Couldn't he just You'd think if he wanted to do a sitcom he could.

The show had huge ratings. No shit!

Stop illegally down loading Snoops music! He's forced to do this crap!

The show follows all the formulas for a reality. teh wacky family members taht can be boiled down to a type. The wife - "boss ladt." She cleans and tells snoop what to do. The son who's the ladies man - he looks and acts like the character of Chris' brother on the sitcom "Everbody Hates Chris."

There's the cooked story lines, Snoop goes to the doctor and is afraid of needles...guess what? There's a needle. He takes yoga for the first time. What a coincidence! Pretty soon he'll go to a spa.

Why do all reality show people go to a spa? Is that interesting to watch? It is to do - but to watch other people? I'm not sure if they introduced the pet yet. all these shows have a cute pet.



Snoop, put the bong down and get off E! Then pick it up again and do another album.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

you people are sick!

I was just checking my site meter for the 1000th time today. People find my site while searching for something else and then never returns. Here's the latest search "montage of butts." Really People? Sorry dude.

Led Zep is back!

and some dude has the cell phone footage to prove it!

PA Bootcamp


No this isn't Crunch's latest exercise class- although you could strengthen your abs by dodging cell phone while holding hot cups of coffee.

It's an actual course you can take to learn how to, among other things, dodge cell phones while holding hot cups of coffee.

It's a two or three day course on how to do an entry level job. The job is totally basic- someone asks you to do something and you do it right away. No complaints or questions asked.

They teach you things like walkie talkie speak and what different items are on the grip truck.

Maybe that is useful. I remember hearing and retelling the joke on set, "How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?" Answer: "What's a light bulb?"

But isn't that part of being a PA? Learning on the job? You pay me low wages for long hours and I'll run around and do the crappiest of jobs.

If you are going to spend $300 and two days- what about an actual film course? I'm sure they will cover some basics there too.
The prices are:
2 Day Intensive Weekend Course - $250.00

3-Day " Relaxed " Course During the Week - $350.00


All this can get you a job that can pay you up to $100 a day! Where do I sign up? And should I take a class on how to sign up for classes?

But if they "school" can promise job placement, then any amount of money is worth breaking into the business.

I started out as an intern on an after school special. I worked mainly in the office. My first day on set I asked someone what time they thought we'd finish, "What the fuck? We finish we get all the shots. What the fuck?! IS this your first time on a set?" Well yes.

Under a list of duties they do list "out times." See, right there I would've known. They also list Crafty vs. Catering (NO! they are NOT "the same).

Maybe if I took a course, I would've known that and saved a little bit of embarrassment. But i was working on the short film for free so I was allowed to be stupid because in exchange for doing paper work, I learned what it means to work on an actual film and it lead to other jobs and a cool wrap party.

Breaking News! Santa reveals presents early

In a public statement, Santa (aka St. Nick, aka Diddy) has revealed what he is buy some people for Christmas. Under the tree for the director of Friday Night Lights and the Kingdom, Santa will put a tripod.

Santa stated: "That shaky camera thing is making me sea sick. It's either a tripod to hold the shot still or coal which this year will be a copy of 'The Rundown."

OK, Let's make a deal

Hey Hollywood movie people,

I will see the new movie "Juno" if you would please stop advertising this film around every corner. I get it, it's a good film and people like it. Please enough with the interviews, posters and the giant diorama of Juno's bedroom at the KROQ concert this weekend. That frightened me. How did they know I was going to be there?

We get it, the writer of the movie was a stripper who had a blog, then a (funny) book and came out here got a trainer and a divorce. We get it, the director of the movie's dad did "Ghostbusters."

Fine, I'll see the movie, can I have my NPR back?

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

five minutes of Imus - a review


I work up at 4 AM LA time this morning. So it only made sense to check out Imus' second day on the air. I'm more curious now because one of the new side kicks was a PA at a show I worked on ten years ago. So I was only really listening for her. But here's something I noticed: The I man says nothing. He directs traffic, but it's teh other people who attack. A guy doing a half assed Dr. Phil impression made jokes about the former station that broadcasted his show - calling MSNBC "swampland" (it was in Jersey, get it?)- and making fun of their new home. But not Imus. He just laughed. The comments were obviously written and planned. How do I know that it was written? Because he was obviously reading. It was like a community theater production of Oklahoma with bad accents and all.

My former co-worker was fine. She also off the top of her head went into a totally prepared section. She addressed the critics and press. She started out by saying, "Imus, I know you said don't read the press, but I had to..." Imus didn't respond, he just waited for her next line. "They said I was Jewish, black and from Texas (She is the latter two). Like you hired kinky Friedman and he became balck and a woman." They all laughed at this comment that made little sense.

"They got this idea I was Jewish from my stand up. I say I feel like a JAP because I'm high maintenance." They all laughed. That was a shitty comment, right? She's like a Jew b/c she's high maintenance?

I let it slide because th next part made me laugh, "While other people are thinking about what their kids will look like, I'm thinking about picking the right nanny. I want to be a good mother." Funny.

Th rest didn't make much sense. Other people said controversial jokes while Imus sat by and hoped no one would complain.

"It's not me, it's that whacky black, female Kinky Friedman." Wait, did she say Kinky? Like his hair?

News flash

AT&T is getting out of the pay phone business. CNN reports that there are only 1 million phones left in the country. Only seven of them work.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Imus hits its medium

Imus comes back to the radio and to TV. No, MSNBC hasn't forgiven and forgotten. No another news station hasn't picked him up. RFD-tv America's only channel for farmers (no joke) will be broadcasting the political fast talker.

I don't see the connection, except they get a lot of press and a great platform to advertise the rest of their shows.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Not News

CNN is covering the Hilary Clinton hostage situation. The crawl below it just read, " The list of the highest paid Hollywood actresses was released and Angelina Jolie was not on top. Cameron Diaz was higher." That's not news!I thought the crawl was implemented after 9/11 to inform us on other attacks and on the war. The crawl is for emergences, not viewers with ADD.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Chili reception (Get it? You will Keep reading)

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are suing the show that has the same title as their CD and song.
Says lead singer Anthony Kedis, "Californication is the signature CD, video and song of the band's career, and for some TV show to come along and steal our identity is not right."
He went on to say, "Plus there were tons of boobs in the pilot episode and not so much after that. It was basically 'Dream On' without the movie clips. The show was about a guy who wrote a blog. A blog!"

In fairness the producers thought they were stealing "Stadium Arcadium" but got confused because all their albums sound the same.

Seriously Anthony, what took you so long?

The TV show "Arrested Development" was sued by the band of the same name. They were ordered to be hit in the head by that old dude's cane.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Network Mandates

It seems like this season all the networks had their own mandates for what their new show should be like. Every show has the same general theme.I know this comes a little late...

NBC:
Ordinary people with extraordinary powers. After the success of "Heroes" NBC must of decided to duplicate the show's general theme. Imagine pitching your doctors-in-love drama and the network exec says, "Yes, but can the surgeon fly?"

Examples:

"Chuck" - a computer geek gets all of the secrets of the government implanted in his brain by watching a youtube video sent by a guy who beat him up in high school. Every week his knowledge fits in perfectly with that week's plot. For some reason he has to keep his computer job and work for the government on the sly. Why not just ship him off to Washington and give him a desk and a pension? Or just shoot him. This show just makes me miss "Greatest American Hero." Let's bring that back!

"Journey Man" - speaking of remakes - here's "Quantum Leap" without the cigars. A normal journalist who lives in San Fransisco all of a sudden has the power to go back in time and fix mistakes that may or may not have any effects on the present. I'm confuse. The good thing about the show is that his wife knows his secret. Unlike Chuck and Reaper, the main character doesn't have to pretend he was at the store getting milk for 56 hours.

"Bionic Woman" - this time she doesn't want the power! She's a regular person! A nerdy note: in the original pilot the BW - Jamie Summers-Winter-Fall has a deaf sister that she had to take care of. For some reason they re-shot those scenes with a character that wasn't deaf. Thanks for taking out an interesting twist.

"Life"- a cop who spent 16 years in jail is released and can now shoot lasers out of his fingers. (Ok - not true, but I'm trying to make a point here.)

3 out of 4 shows.

ABC: Groups of four people doing something. Preferably the same sex.

Big Shots - 4 rich men bonding over how hard life is being 4 rich great looking men. It's just like life, right?

Car Poolers - 4 guys drive to work each day sharing trials and tribulations. It stars the great Jerry Minor one of the few black people on the schedule this year. We have the recently divorced ladies man, the regular-every man married guy, the newly wed and the hen pecked black guy that shows up in most places. It's like a TV version of Wild Hogs.

Cavemen - 3 cavemen live in modern times...wait they have a fourth friend who shows up from time to time for no reason making it four. Plus all four of them play racket ball. I can't help but think if this concept came up in the Cosby Show 80's - the cavemen would've been a family, not four single guys. There was a sitcom, "Dinosaurs" on ABC's TGI family sitcom night for pre-teens and the babysitters who have to watch them while their parents escaped for a few hours. The show was nothing more than a Simpsons/Family Matters/Flintstones rip off with people in bad outfits. If you are going to make a show about dinosaurs, why does it have to be a family? 80's MANDATE!

Women's Murder Club - Four women solve murders every week. The Tammy-Wynette-stand-by-your-man-who-happens-to-be-in-a-wheel-chair coroner (who shows up at crime scenes), the young ambitious reporter who doesn't know if she should get serious with her bf because she's a career woman, the prosecutor who's married and shows up at crime scenes, and Angie Harmon who plays the super hot cop who just can't seem to get a date.

Cashmere Mafia - four female almost movie stars play Hollywood hot shots who like Women's Murder Club join forces, but not to solve murders.

Pushing Daisies has four people in it! 2 men, 2 women. They get together to solve crimes and bake pies.

Samantha Who? has 3 best friends, making it four characters...the drunk ( like "Samantha" from Sex and the Citybut much hotter), the do gooder ex boyfriend who apparently is some kind of angel and and the most original character of the season - a girl Samantha dropped at puberty but is now using Samantha's amnesia to be friends again. Samantha also has parents, but it doesn't fit my theory. Again, if this show was on ABC in the 80's would she be a mother of three (a trouble maker son, a smart daughter and a cute as pie daughter)?

OK, Private Practice and Dirty Sexy Money don't fit. that's 7 out of 9.

CBS: Anything but cop shows.
A show about a vampire, a musical about (well I'm still not sure what it's about), a reality show where they abuse children and make them cry, a Hispanic "Dynasty" and "Two and Half Men" the younger years.

FOX seemed to just be looking for something that will lead in or out of their established hit.
A cop show out of their prison show, a sitcom out of their another sitcom with a star from "Raymond," two music reality shows tht no one will watch and another Gordon Ramsey show.

I watch too much TV

Last Wednesday I noticed that on my 8 o'clock show - "Pushing Daisies" they had to solve the murder of a guy who ws married to four different women. Then on my 10 PM show "Life," the cops discover a body of a guy who's secretly married to two different women.

Just saying. If you are going to have shows that look a like, try not to put them on the same night. We get it, every show does the same stories.

I like Life, but they are getting away from the "He spent 16 years in prison" thing. Don't you think if a cop was in the pen (as we call it) for over ten years he's be a little more freaked out?

Oh, I offically don't give a shit who set him up. It's not so interesting. The murders are interesting.

Plus how hot are cops and lawyers. His partner, his lawyer, ex wife, his ex partner's wife, Adam Arkin's forced love interest, all the victims' families, the tamale lady, etc.

Just saying...Maybe all women look even better after 16 years of prison.

Thursday, November 15, 2007


I don't know if you check out Woot.com for useless electronics. They
put one thing on sale a day. Of course you do. The stuff is not
always the top brans or useful. But it seems so cheap - I have to
check. Today is one of those days where they have more than one thing
for sale. They will sell one thing until it sells out. Then another.

I'm addicted to the rush of buying something cheap. I'm sorry. I have a problem.
Anyway... if you're anything like me, you'll be hitting the refresh
button all day.

Sometimes tey'll just sell a "bag of crap."

Things I bought from http://www.woot.com:
Radar detector (never opened)
a small MP3 player/fm radio that records the radio (doesn't work with my mac.)
A large mp3 player w/ FM and a mircophone
sunglasses with an MP3 player - opened once never took out of box -
it's as dumb as it sounds.
blue tooth head phones - stopped working.
regular headphones - always use
vcr/dvd player recorder - one day it just stopped working
stereo that supposed to play my ipod - that part does not work
A Movado watch for my mom - she loves the watch and wears it all the time.


There's more - can't remember.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

My favorite podcasts...in case you are looking.

I'm obsessed with podcasts. I don't know why! I'm always looking for new ideas if you find something let me know.

My top can't wait for them to come on the computer:
From KPCC - Off Ramp- great local show about strange things in LA.
Also on KPCC - Film week. good reviewers.

Tim Goodman's TV talk machine from the SF Chronicle. (Last two weeks he has on Ricky Gervais and David Duchovny. But mostly he talks TV stuff and acts goofy. It actually gets tiring. When they actually talk about TV it's better.)
The Business - show biz features and news with slight sarcasm.
The Treatment - Elvis Michel interviews directors.
KCRW's today's top tunes - new songs every day. great stuff.
Indie Feed - has new music too. They have different genres. Rock, hip hop, and electronica.

News:
CNN Headline news, MSNBC and NPR news updated every hour.
FOX has one too, but it sucks. It's 5 minutes long. In the middle of it they have a soft news item. who cares. i have 5 minutes. I don't want to hear the same Tony Danza interview every hour.
Cynopsis - daily TV news and ratings. The host can hardly read. It makes it more fun to get your news from a someone who can't pronounce "Colbert" or "Sixth Sense." It's like she's reading my typing.
Marc Berman's Programming Insider. - TV ratings with a strong New York accent always makes it sound official.


NPR shuffle: best of all the newscasts
The cool as hell Theater podcast - host interviewing real SF performers. I take sick pleasure in it.

opcast - ny times has an interesting podcast interviewing people who resently wrote an op ed piece.

I know people like Men with Feelings and "Keith and the Girl."

Monday, October 22, 2007

F U NBC!


Fuck You NBC!
This week’s “Las Vegas” featured the super stereotypical Jewish family. The shrill and loud overwewight pushy wife. The menchie bald dad who became rich by becoming the “Brisket King” of some place in Florida. They are throwing a Bar Mitzvah for their nerdy son.
The mother argues about something they wanted for the affair but didn’t get. The party planner offers her an extra buffet for free and the mother is very pleased.

At least they didn’t play “Fiddler on the Roof” type music whenever they walked into a scene, oh wait they did.javascript:void(0)
Publish Post

Every bad stereotype in the book was thrown in and the book as well.

It was like it was written by a bunch of bullies in the 7th grade. It’s embarrassing.

Oh, at the Bar Mitzvah itself, there’s a shot of a huge ham on the carving station.
Every stereotype in the book was thrown in.

The only realistic part was that they hired a rapper for his big day.

They also had a subplot where everyone had to carry around an egg for the day to prove their parenting skills. This is right out of every sitcom ever. What else can you expect from a “Love Boat” rip off.


You can go to NBC.com to see the entire episode.

Here’s the plot summary from the “Love Boat” update from the NBC website:



Sam is organizing a big ticket bar mitzvah for Cy and Beth Lipshitz’s nerdy son Hershel. Cy tells Sam to set up a private table for him and keep his wife and son entertained and away from him.
Sam offers Piper $5000 to babysit Hershel.
Piper notices Hershel looking shyly at some girls. Why doesn’t he ask them to join in? Hershel asks if Piper’s a prostitute, and she is about to huff off, but he offers to pay her double to teach him how to get a girl. Piper relents, but only if Hershel does everything she says.

Piper holds Hershel’s hand through a full makeover with a haircut, new cool clothes, even an earring. Piper encourages him to talk to the girls, but Hershel chickens out and runs off. Piper rushes after him.

Hershel tells Piper that he may look great, but he’s still a wuss on the inside, nothing’s changed. Piper asks if Cy has had the man-talk with Hershel. But they never talk, Cy’s always busy. Piper takes Hershel to the table where Cy gambles, not wanting to interrupt his winning streak. Piper insists that she shouldn’t be the one teaching Hershel life lessons, and Cy gets the message, telling a baffled Sam to watch his chips. Sam’s worried that father and son are missing right before the party, but finds them bonding.

The bar mitzvah is getting underway. Hershel dances with Piper, and she gives him the confidence to ask the girls to dance. Cy and Beth have the time of their lives, watching their son dance to Mim’s live show with the rabbi’s daughter.



Monday, October 08, 2007

Enough with Britney

There's a news report today that she tried to order from the drive thru but forgot to roll down her window. It instantly reminded me of being in middle school where everything I did was commented on. Sorry I still have issues.

Back to Brit-- I think we should lay off, not so much because I feel bad for her, but it's getting boring. Can't you find a brand new young girl going thru a horrible family issues and a possible battle with substances? What about that girl from the "Game Plan?"

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Pop will eat itself

Secrets reveled! On the pilot of FOX's much hyped "Back to You" Kelsey Grammer realizes that Patricia Heaton's daughter is actually his kin! What? You fathered the kid and then left for 10 years only to return and find out your ex lover is now your baby momma!!!!

Detective Grammer figures this out because Patricia's daughter, like him has a peanut allergy. What are the odds?

This sounded familiar to me? where did I hear this before? Wait...it's coming...Today I remembered that in the pilot for "October Road" the lead comes home after ten years and befriends a ten year old boy who turns out to be the son of his ex girlfriend that he left behind--And--that-- wait for it-- also has a peanut allergy! what? So now he thinks this might be his kid!

I don't know what shocks me more- that so many people have peanut allergies or that the "Back to You" writers stole something from "October Road."

I'm also shocked to find out that people with peanut allergies are so free with their sperm. Look out ladies. These guys will love you and leave you.

re-reporting Ratings for "Cavemen"


In case you were wondering how the commercial turned male Sex and the City did in it's premiere we turn to "The Progamming Insider at Mediaweek.com:

"Older skewing CBS warhorse NCIS won the 8 p.m. hour, with a 10.5 rating/16 share in the overnight markets. Second were two series debuts on ABC -- sitcoms Cavemen (6.5/10) and Carpoolers (6.3/10), which dropped, on average, by a significant 49 percent compared to Dancing With the Stars on the year-ago evening (12.5/19 from 8-9 p.m. on Oct. 3, 2006) . While no one expected these "comedies" to match Dancing With the Stars, given the hype, particularly for Cavemen, the initial sampling should have been higher. Let's be honest…wasn't Cavemen just awful?"
There you go. Thanks Marc.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Re-reporting the news: 'Best Week Ever' Exec Fred Graver Out

Re-reporting the news: 'Best Week Ever' Exec Fred Graver Out according to Mixed Media's Jeff Bercovici

His voice mail says he's on "walk about" which must be the new way to say "ankling."

From Conde Nast:
'Best Week Ever' Exec Out at VH1

Fred Graver, former head of programming for VH1 and creator of its Best Week Ever franchise, is leaving the network, according to several sources. Emails to Graver were met by an out-of-office message saying he's "on walkabout," but he has let it be known that he won't be back.*

Graver was in charge of programming and production for the network from June 2001 until May 2002. It was a fallow period, in terms of ratings -- "post Behind The Music and pre-Celebreality," as one source put it -- and he was soon demoted, with MTV entertainment president Brian Graden taking over his duties. (They were later handed to Michael Hirschorn.)

But Graver got a second life at the network in January 2004, when he launched Best Week Ever, the zeitgeist-y commentary/comedy show that became a VH1 staple. More recently, Graver had been developing a network of sites under the aegis of the Linked Media Group. I'm told that Graver did not get along with Tina Imm, VH1's vice president for digital media.

Various VH1 officials have yet to respond to calls for comment.

UPDATE: Gaurav Misra confirms he's replacing Graver as head of Linked Media.

*UPDATE 2: A VH1 spokesman confirms that Graver is "pursuing other opportunities." Misra, meanwhile, won't be taking over Linked Media per se -- it's being disbanded -- but he will be working on site development with Tina Imm.

Monday, October 01, 2007

It might just be you...

Oh holly crap! I picked a bunch of new podcasts to listen to. this one is theater cast from SF.

  Apparently Hollywierd is too dumb to recognize good art so Michael Rice interviews the best of the unknown to give them exposure.
You know, kept down by closed mined Hollywood that only wants things that make money like sequels and the possibility of an audience... This guy Rice is interviewing is so fucking clueless. I think it's a joke, but Tim Sudano has a website and a trailer.

It feels like a bit on "Best show on WFMU with Tom Scharpling ."

Ricetalks about how Hollywood and Broadway has nothing original and then presents this pioneer. Tim, the pioneer, agrees and tells of his many rejections. Finally he describes the movie. It's a detective/vampire/alien story.
listen here The podcast keeps getting better and better. The host finally loses his shit and then kisses the guy's ass again.


From the "Cool as Hell Theater show" website:
Tim Sudano thinks his company should be the "go to" company for theater and film in the Bay Area. Sudano has recently produced a film called Second Chance, about a detective, bitten by a vampire, who rises above the situation because he is an alien. What the hell???

This is why I love SF, they are clueless to the real world. This has to be a joke. Don't say people turned down your stuff b/c they are closed minded. They might just not like it.
Here's some more interviews with the cast.The director says the movie is going to be better than the first Stars Wars Trilogy - that's my first clue that this is all a joke. But so much work went into the website and trailer. I also want to believe it.


It's well lit - I'll give him that.

No one is required to put up your show or see your movie. Yes, when you pitch a project someone might wonder if they will make their money back. Why not? And what's wrong with turning a profit.

Anyway, I can't tell if this is a joke or not, but let's hope it is a joke- otherwise "The Room" might have a run for it's money.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

What am I watching?

Hey, Michael Clayton I'm lost. I've watched the trailer for the new movie "Michael Clayton" a few times. I still don't know what it's about. I know I'll see it because I like George Clooney and he generally picks good movies. BUt I can't follow what's going on. The guy from "The Full Monty" who more recently dressed up like a woman on HBO, is crazy. The hot British chick is tell George that he can't do something. Then the guy from Tootsie tells George "they" are already doing it. I don't know what it is - but it is happening. Oh and the big time lawyer is running through the woods in a suit. Confused. I was hoping the title would help me figure it out. Nope, just a name of a character that I don't know what it means.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Reaper Review and Bionic revelation

It's 3 AM and I can't sleep. I cleaned out my dvr (which I hate. I want TIVO back) and here's what I watched...

I've watched reaper which was funny for a minute. The premise and the joke about the ham made me laugh.

BUT: why not tell the girl that you are a soul collector? Is it better to let her know that you are a liar? It's always the woman the guy lusts for or the wife he has to hide this stuff from. "I'm so glad you hid that you catch souls for the Devil. There was no reason to hide it, but that's what I love. other major life changing events are happening that you aren't telling me? Wait...It's better if I just don't know."

He tells his idiot best friend and random dude in a pony tail, but not the woman who's smart and going to college. No reason you'd want a smart person with access to a college on your team.

Grey's Anatomy - always good, but isn't it illegal for a regular doctor to operate on an animal? Or is that just on nip/tuck when that curl haired guy did plastic surgery to a poodle?
It's good to see that everyone there is still totally self centered. "You think you have problems? Instead of talking to you about them I will tell you my whole back story and history."

Plus- was the whole Bambi thing a shout out to the show "Scrubs?" the sitcom makes no bones about feeling ripped off by a show about hospital interns. The only difference is people will watch Grey's. the mean-but-well meaning Dr. Baily, I mean Dr. Cox calls former waiter and now director phenom Zach Brafferstienbergelman's character "Bambi" for the past 5 or 6 years. Last night on Grey's everyone was calling each other Bambi and they even had to save a dear. Was this an on air rebuttal to Scrub's on air attack on Grey's? Or did no one check to see if the dear reference was used before on an intern at a hospital.

Bionic Woman - in the original pilot Jaime Sommers has a deaf younger sister. they replaced the actress and gave her hearing. Why? It was a cool addition to the story.

If you get a chance rent the original "Bedazzled." Much funnier than most things. Including the dreadful remake and the funny Reaper. You can see they borrowed a little from this movie. Which is fine by me. They didn't take much and it's a great movie.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

re-reporting the news:

NBC is considering a new "Knight Rider."
That makes sense. It's part of NBC's mandate: "Normal people with extraordinary powers put on them."

I bet that the new Michael Knight is a regular guy who some how ends up with a talking car and a new life.


If this was two years ago, it would be a reality show. "Finding the Next Knight Rider."

Of course there was the syndicated "team Knight Rider" which made no sense since the announcer on the first show described Michael Knight as loner.
Chuck - regular guy with all the world secrets in his head
Journeyman - a regular guy who just starts floating through time
Bionic Woman - a regular woman who's in a car accident and now has metal parts


NBC taps Liman for 'Knight Rider'
Network readying two-hour backdoor pilot
By JOSEF ADALIAN
NBC is bringing back "Knight Rider," tapping Doug Liman to produce a "Transformers"-inspired reworking of the 1980s hit action-drama series about a man and his indestructible supercar.

Peacock is readying a two-hour backdoor pilot for the project, with tentative plans to air it as a telepic later this season. Liman is open to the idea of directing, assuming his feature sked allows. If the telepic clicks, a new-model "Knight Rider" could be on the air as early as next fall.

Dave Andron ("Raines") is writing the pilot script and will serve as supervising producer alongside exec producers Liman and Dave Bartis ("The O.C.," "Heist") for Universal Media Studios and Dutch Oven Prods.

Success of "Transformers" had a role in inspiring NBC Entertainment chief Ben Silverman's decision to revive "Knight." The thinking is that smallscreen f/x have advanced to the point where it'd be feasible to have a weekly series in which cars shift shapes.

It's also likely the new show will explore the idea of "evil" cars to offset the heroic talking K.I.T.T. car of the original skein, which starred David Hasselhoff. That said, skein is expected to essentially remain focused on the story of a single man fighting for justice with the help of his superadvanced car.

There's also huge potential for advertiser integration. General Motors was all over "Transformers," and it's easy to see NBC striking a rich deal with a single automaker to serve as the exclusive auto brand for the new "Knight." It's understood preliminary talks have already begun.

Peacock is also veering from current conventional wisdom by moving forward with a telepic/backdoor pilot for "Knight." Nets rarely produce telepics with an eye on turning them into series anymore, in part because the telepic has essentially disappeared from the broadcast network scene.

But NBC execs no doubt feel "Knight Rider" is enough of a pre-sold brand to lure an audience. What's more, the telepic could serve as a good replacement for repeats come spring, perhaps replacing an encore of "Heroes" or "Bionic Woman."

"Knight" originally aired on NBC from 1982 until 1986, with Hasselhoff playing smooth crimefighter Michael Knight. A spinoff skein, "Team Knight Rider," aired in syndication during the 1997-98 season.

Project was put together by CAA and Adam Kolbrenner of Madhouse Entertainment.

Glen Larson created the original "Knight Rider" for Universal Television.

Read the full article at:
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117972829.htm

Friday, September 21, 2007

John W. Ennis mashes (or combines) The Leave Britney Spears Alone guy with the taser guy.

In defense of FOX. That's right, I said it.

I'm curently listening to Nick Madigan's Minding the Media. He's complaining that FOX censored Sally Field's acceptance speech. Madigan and other like those at the Huffington Post feel that FOX censored Field for her anti-war stance. But the actress said "goddamn" a word FOX had a problem with it being on primetime. They also censored Ray Romano saying Fraiser Crane was screwing his TV wife. He was not making an anti war comment, he just didn't want a fiction guy to have fictional sex with his fictional wife.

It's FOX's job to censor themselves. If Sally Field a TV vet wanted her anti-war statement to go uncensored she should've kept it clean.

This is not a conspiracy on FOX's part. The FCC is still fucking with CBS over nipple gate. So let FOX be too careful.

I'm not saying FOX never does stuff that's political, I'm just saying that isn't one of them.


This guy below is not only wrong but boring...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


TMZ has a poll...would you rather be with Jimmy Falon or Adam west.

Please vote West:


The only connection is that they have the same birthday. One is 34 and the othe is 79.
They really know how to ask the tough questions. Right now the 34 year old is winning. Please do your country proud and Vote for Batman himself.

TMZ is very tricky. They don't say "sex" but boy can tehy hint it! Whew! I get the vapors just reading it.
Anyway, who wants to have sex with Jimmy Fallon? Trust me he'll just laugh in the middle of it and pull focus.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Monday, August 06, 2007

searches on biography.com as of today


Most Popular Searches

1. Tammy Faye (Bakker) Messner
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Hank Aaron
4. Brandon Lee
5. Bruce Lee
6. Pablo Escobar
7. George W. Bush
8. Tiger Woods
9. Chuck Norris
10. Madonna



the top 3 i get - Tammy just died, Opes is mega famous and Hank record was just beat. But two action stars and the star Median before our pres? High school reports alone should drive GWB's search rating up. Then Chuck Norris and Madonna?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

From the best show you'll never see...

Singer Johnny Fayva shot a pilot for MTV - but it didn't go any where. Hopefully someone smart will pick up this show.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Carlos Mencia is called out by comedian Morgan Murphy for stealing material. Let's see what he has to say to this:

Saturday, May 19, 2007

What Tony Soprano yelled at the end of last week's episode:

From Tom Shales on TVweek.com:

"Thanks to those who commented, even those who did it insultingly, but this blog was correct in its original report: Tony Soprano shouted “I GET IT” and not “I DID IT” at the end of last week’s Sopranos episode.

An HBO spokesman confirmed it from the script.

I may have been wrong in interpreting the remark though. I thought Tony had experienced a life-changing epiphany that was going to impact on all the remaining episodes. The HBO executive thinks that Tony was in effect speaking posthumously to Christopher, the nephew he killed in the opening scene, and that “I get it” means Tony now understands the tremendous pull of mind-altering drugs that was essentially Christopher’s undoing.

Argue about that all you want. "

Thursday, May 17, 2007

From this morning’s NY Post.



May 17, 2007 -- TEJ Herring, the longtime publicist for wacko comic Andy Dick, quit yesterday, less than an hour before Dick was to appear on the CW11 "Morning News" and then be feted at a roast on Howard Stern's Sirius satellite radio show. Dick was a no-show for the Ch. 11 gig. Then, reports The Post's Don Kaplan, as dozens of comedians began to gather in Stern's studio for the roast, producer Gary Dell'Abate had to send an intern and a Town Car to extract Dick from his hotel room. Dell'Abate told Stern about the mess just as the show was starting. "The e-mail came in five minutes ago and [Herring] had resigned five minutes before that," he told Stern, adding that Dick had "canceled [on CW11] at the last second . . . the people at CW11 hate him." At the roast, Dick was crucified by the likes of Artie Lange, Greg Fitzsimmons, Dave Attell and Lisa Lampanelli, who joked, "People are surprised when they hear that Andy has kids, because the kids don't admit it. To avoid embarrassment, they tell people that their father is Alec Baldwin."

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

To continue NBC's plan to copy what works - they have taken the theme of Heroes and applied it to three new shows. "Ordinary people with extraordinary powers."

The Bionic Woman (after an accident a woman is given bionic parts, Journeyman a San Francisco journalist all of a sudden can travel through time - which is good that he's a journalist living in SF, since they usually are on strike.

And Chuck, a nerd is secretly an spy.
Here's a preview from TVguy88:
The new Bionic Woman Looks so cool!


here's a clip of the Bionic woman's ep. They acts like his show is best thing since fire. It's not the Wire, it's a remake of a cheesy show that we all love. what a snore. We get it, you've changed TV.




Here's a guy who does a webcast about entertainment. Do I sound this lame? If the answer is yes, I'm sorry.

I know people that being off the cuff is the way to go - always funnier and not corporate or something, but it gives you a chance to think about what you are saying. Maybe even come up with something better.
But who am I?
A day without Orange juice.
Here's Life...looks like crap.



ABC's Fall Schedule 2007

From the ABC press release...


DAY TIME SERIES

MONDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars”
9:30 p.m. “Sam I Am” (new comedy series)
10:00 p.m. “The Bachelor”

TUESDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Cavemen” (new comedy series)
8:30 p.m. “Carpoolers” (new comedy series)
9:00 p.m. “Dancing with the Stars the Results Show”
10:00 p.m. “Boston Legal”

WEDNESDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Pushing Daisies” (new drama series)
9:00 p.m. “Private Practice” (new drama series)
10:00 p.m. “Dirty Sexy Money” (new drama series)

THURSDAY:
8:00 p.m. “Ugly Betty”
9:00 p.m. “Grey’s Anatomy”
10:00 p.m. “Big Shots” (new drama series)

FRIDAY:
8:00 p.m. “MEN IN TREES”
9:00 p.m. “Women’s Murder Club” (new drama series)
10:00 p.m. “20/20”

SATURDAY: 8:00 p.m. “Saturday Night College Football”

SUNDAY:
7:00 p.m. “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
8:00 p.m. “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”
9:00 p.m. “Desperate Housewives”
10:00 p.m. “Brothers & Sisters”


“Cashmere Mafia,” “Notes from the Underbelly” and “October Road” will premiere after “Dancing with the Stars” and “The Bachelor” conclude their fall seasons.

For full descriptions of the shows go to the ABC site. I can't do everything. I'm only one man.


First ABC should put “Notes from the Underbelly” and “October Road” back on the air right away. There's no reason to introduce a show and then make people wait for them. Why put on 40,000 new shows at once? Put “Notes from the Underbelly” on Tuesday at 8:30 so people have something they like and then premiere Carpoolers or Cavemen after Dancing with the Stars goes away.

Also I would put the family friendly Cavemen at 9:30 after "Dancing." Then put the star power of Christina Applegate to use and have it open up Tuesday night.


Same with “October Road.” Put that on at Wednesday at 8 before "Private Practice" and the drama. Why make a whole night of brand new shows? That's a lot of pressure.

It's great That ABC is putting on new shows on Friday. Last year it quickly became a night of second runs and news shows.

All in all, a pretty strong schedule.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Re-reporting the news:

CBS pilot pick ups...
According to Nikki Fink here are the shows pilots that CBS picked up...

CBS is picking up TWILIGHT, VIVA LAUGHLIN, SWINGTOWN, CANE (previously untitled Cynthia Cidre Project), BIG BANG THEORY, POWER OF 10 (unscripted). Unclear yet what's for fall or midseason.

What's up with the funny "I'm in Hell!"?
NBC's New Fall line up - from their website http://nbcumv.com/


NBC PRIMETIME SCHEDULE FOR FALL 2007-08

*New programs in CAPS

MONDAY
8-9 p.m. "Deal or No Deal"
9-10 p.m. "Heroes"
10-11 p.m. "JOURNEYMAN"-
A newspaper reporter time travels to alter the past and fix things. Here's the pitch "It's Quantum Leap meets Early Edition." NBC must've figured the people who are watching Heroes will want another sci-fi type show.

TUESDAY
8-9 p.m. "The Biggest Loser"
9-10 p.m. "CHUCK" -
a geeky super spy. The Pitch, "in real life he's a nerd, but he has a secret identity as a spy. You still don't get it? Here, read this Superman comic."
10-11 p.m. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m. "Deal or No Deal"
9-10 p.m. "BIONIC WOMAN"
10-11 p.m. "LIFE"
- A cop was wrongly accused of a crime. Now he's out of jail and back on the force. First let's hope they don't do the cheesy TV thing and have his last name, "Life."

Scene from the pilot.

Cop 1: " Frig that. I ain't going into that shoot out with him!"
Officer Chad Life: "I didn't kill that kid. I was cleared of all charges. Don't you watch the News?"
Cop 1: "My bad. Let's go in."

What if there was a twist? Like he really did do it? Or the cop who did in on the force and trying to get Officer Chad Life killed?



THURSDAY
8-8:30 p.m. "My Name Is Earl"
8:30-9 p.m. "30 Rock"
9-9:30 p.m. "The Office"
9:30-10 p.m. "Scrubs"
10-11 p.m. "er"


They ordered 18 Scrubs and 30 hours of the Office with 5 of them 1 hours episodes. So it's cheaper/more profitable to producer a one hour Office than a half hour Scrubs.

So five times next season the Office will be an hour, not just feel like one.

Let's figure out how many episodes will be 30 minutes... 1/2x + 5(1) = 30
Finally a use for algebra!

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m. "1 vs 100"/"THE SINGING BEE"
9-10 p.m. "Las Vegas"
10-11 p.m. "Friday Night Lights"


This makes sense. Put the show with "Friday " in the title on Friday.

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m. "Dateline NBC"
9-11 p.m. Drama Series Encores

SUNDAY (Fall 2007)
7-8 p.m. "Football Night in America"
8-11 p.m. "NBC Sunday Night Football"

SUNDAY (January 2008)
7-8 p.m. "Dateline NBC"
8-9 p.m. "Law and Order"
9-10 p.m. "Medium"
10-11 p.m. "LIPSTICK JUNGLE"


Why is Law and Order at 8 PM on a Sunday, traditionally family TV night? Isn't the show about murder? In an effort to attract more family viewing they're adding The yellow shirt guy who left the Wiggles and Sonic the Hedgehog to the cast.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

These shows have been announced as pick up before the upfronts tomorrow.



From TVweek.com:

FOX:
“Sarah Connor Chronicles” - Terminator spin off. Sound cool. I hope they give it a chance and that it's good.
“New Amsterdam” (about an immortal NYC homicide detective) oh, brother
“K-Ville” Starring Anthony Anderson and Cole Hauser as cops in New Orleans after Katrina.
“The Return of Jezebel James” -
“Rules For Starting Over” Sex & the City with Men I give it less than 13 episodes

Kelsey Grammer’s “Back to You” - prob. very expensive. I say they keep it on all year no matter what. I would even guess they've already made a full season commitment.
“Til Death” escapes death, get it?


ABC:

“Cashmere Mafia,”
“Dirty Sexy Money,” With Peter Crouse and Donald Sutherland “Pushing Daises,”
“Women’s Murder Club,”
“Private Practice” – the soulless “Grey’s Anatomy” spin off should go on Fridays to capitalize the success of Grey's. It's a rerun night for ABC, why not use this show as a way in? Or put it at Mondays at 10 after Super Nanny and Wife Swap. Do whatever you want. Who listens to me anyway?
“Eli Stone”
“October Road” – not so good, but as soap dramas go, good enough. Leave it on Thursdays at 10. It works. Stop messing around with that time slot. It needs stability. Wait are we still talking about TV?
They also have “Men in Trees”

“Sam I Am,”
“Carpoolers” with the Very funny Jerry Minor.
“Cavemen”
“Notes From the Underbelly” renewed

Early word on Network pick ups

According to CNN all three Law and Orders will be back. The original LandO is back for an 18th season. Thank goodness! What would TNT show?
But wait! according to thefutoncritic.com Law and Order: Criminal intent will first play on the NBC/Universal owned USA Network. Then rerun on the NBC network. Backwards from the normal way. ABC did that with Monk - they passed on the show and then it became a hit on USA so they toook it weeks later. It didn't fly on the network.

From Thefutoncritic.com

"'Law and Order: Criminal Intent' is perfect for USA -- smart, character-driven programming that's already a proven hit with our viewers," said Bonnie Hammer, president of USA Network and SCI FI Channel. "It's also a blockbuster procedural, a terrific complement to the award-winning 'Monk' and last year's top-rated new show, 'Psych'. Combined with the powerhouse WWE and the rest of the network's dynamic slate, it ensures that USA will continue to dominate the cable landscape and remain #1."

ooof. The good news is that you stay on the air - bad news you follow "psych."

I wonder if everyone will come back.

Thursday, May 10, 2007


Hollywood is filled with dreamers. I overheard (ease dropped on) two of them

Two guys in their mid- 40's. One guy sis pretty dirty.


Sad Guy in Shorts to Barista: I'm sorry to both you, but who is this music? Chuck Coltrane?

(At this point, I'm hooked)
--

Dirty guy to Sad Guy: You see I was screwed out of some stocks. I should have 20 grand, but I sold teh stocks and the company won't give me the money.
Sad Guy: I don't know i want to do better in life.
Dirty guy: are you appreciated or tolerated?
Sad: I don't know.
Dirty: you want to do better? Do you use the internet?
Sad: I go to the library. just to look up a couple of things...
Dirty: Ha, i can't do that. I have so many emails. this high (Shows with his hands)
Sad: Yeah.
Dirty: Do you have a computer?
Sad: No. I know I should get one...

It's a living.

Sunday, May 06, 2007




Reviewing the reviewers.

Since Ebert has been off recovering for the past year- he's left us fans in the incapable hands of Richard Roeper. I was never a fan of his reviews. His penchant for liking movies that seem like they should be good, but are crap (The Family Stone) was a good balance to the talented Ebert.

Until Ebert gets better, they've had guest reviewers.
You can see the reviews on the website that strangely changed from ebertandroeper.com to atthemoviestv.com.


Now with Ebert gone, let's judge the some of the guest judges.

Guys who aren't film critics that like everything:

Fred Willard, the guy who was Egon in Ghost Busters and John Mellencamp. Fred and the other actor guy were too nice. They knew the people who made the films so they couldn't be critical. Although Fred is the funniest guy around. Just too nice. Not a bad thing. I love that guy.


John Cougar took a home spun approach to reviewing. He was your grandmother who didn't want to say anything bad because it isn't nice to judge people who went out and did something.
Mellencamp couldn't say a bad word about a film. Maybe he thought he was being olite to a fellow artist - but the art of this show is to be critical. I felt like my aunt Ruth was reviewing my 4th grade play.


Roeper was both scared and being polite. He tried to agree with Cougars crazy excuses for a review. Cougar was upset that Richard compared Anthony Hopkins' performance as a killer in fracture with his famous "Silence of the Lambs" character. John's argument was you can't compare a new album from an artist with one of his old ones...Are we talking about something else?

Kevin Smith did a good job each time he was on the show. But he's one guy who should not throw stones. Oh, don't tell me you like his films. And won't even pretend that you liked "Chasing Amy."

Smith on Half Nelson "this movie pops, pops in a big bad way." "I watched it and said wow, I'm a film maker doing it for 12 years now..."

It's also funny to watch Roeper biting his tongue, b/c he thinks Smith sucks.




On the other hand, actress Aisha Tyler was great. She really understood moives and wasn't afraid to be critical - which helps you as a guest critic. But she went on and on about kung fu movies every time she was on. Ok, we get it. But sill I always like when she's on the show.



Who is this person and why are you making Roeper look like he knows what he's doing?

Kim Morgan who was credited being from MSN. You mean the search engine? They also plugged her blog at the end of the show. I don't mind someone from the web, but she was pretty dumb.

One comment on youtube said she should have her own show because she's so hot...I agree. But not reviewing movies. Can give legal advice? Talk politics? Give medical tips?

"
People I liked, Liz Schwarzbaum from Entertainment Weakling, "Wait, Wait Don't tell me..." host Peter Sagal (Although seeing his voice come from his mouth was strange)and someone who's last n Thompson.

David Edelstein - Good, closest thing to having Roger back. A real reviewer with real knowledge - nice balance to Roper.


Wesley Morris - from the Boston Globe. He wore a suit with a loose tie and sneakers. You are not that young. fix yourself up! your on the TV! He did dress better than Kevin Smith. But that's not saying much. as for his reviews: If you live in Boston, you must see a lot of bad movies. Made Roeper look good.

Govindini Murty - couldn't separate fiction from reality. Didn't like that the kids in "Alpha Dog" ( a movie about bad kids and what it does to good people) were made to look good, just because they were on the screen. She thought they were being glamorized. Even though the movie shows how everyone's lives were ruined by them.
* George Pennacchio - Home town guy. Embarrassing.


John Ridley - good. i know he had a short lived review show on AMC, but I don't know what his qualifications are. Sorry that guy stole your script.


Anne Thompson - liked. Another real reviewer.

Mario Van Peebles - Crazy, looney, whacky. You have to find it. He rambled on and made no sense. Roeper just sat there and agreed with him. What else can you do?


But A.O. Scott is best guy for the show for my money (Also Aisha Tyler, but she's a busy actress). He's smart and a real reviewer. It's funny to watch him start out nervous a year ago to cool and calm now.
As an academy member, every year around this time it's Christmas for TV shows. Everyday my mail box is stuffed with new and different TV shows in different packaging all looking for my attention. Back in the old days before everyone had a DVD player, you'd get huge boxes of VHS tapes. The best part was you always had blank tapes around to record something. The only thing crappy DVDs are good for is equally crappy coasters.

It's hard to say that if I'll watch all of them. It is hours and hours of TV time. It does help to know these things are out. The ones that I feel like I should vote on I'll watch. I'm not qualified to vote on all categories.

Plus you never know when you are having company. I don't like rings on the coffee table.


Here are some of the packages I've received so far...




HBO fit it's original shows, specials and concerts neatly in this huge box that stays together with a very powerful magnet. There was a documentary in it I wanted to watch. Saw it. Now I can vote on it. Thank goodness.


FOX sent all of it's big dramas in one box.




Each show only got one episode. Which is not a great idea since 24 and Prison Break are serialized shows. you might want to fork over a couple of episodes to get people hooked.





Showtime put all their shows in a neat little hat box.







Comedy Central sent one or two episodes of their shows all in the same box. Except for Sarah Silverman Program. That was sent by itself last month. That's the show that has the best chance of getting nominated. Also we might get to hear Jon Stewart be condescending and ungrateful again whene he is force to get up and accept another statue. The nerve of the academy!




TNT put all of it's shows in one booklet. The Closer won for best actress last year, so it has the best chance of winning this year. They put all the eps in this booklet along with all the eps of their Steve King mini series "Nightmares &/or Dreamscapes."


They also for some reason put in the silly "Librarian."




This takes away from my own TV time. What can I say, I love me some "Wings."

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


Here's Halle Berry getting her star on the Hollywood walk of fame on Monday from Hollywood's honorable and shy mayor Johnny Grant.

that's right Johnny, girls are icky.

Monday, March 26, 2007

NBC gives away the results to the Apprentice!

Yes I'm the last guy to watch the show. I still watch it. But last night I missed it and thought since I was early to work, I'll catch up on NBC.com rewind. On the Apprentice page---they have a big sign with who was voted off!

Whyhave a site for people to come and see the show if they missed it or not watching it on TV and then tell the ending?!?!??

Friday, February 09, 2007

It's All Bad: 2006 Bad Movie wrap-up

Four years ago, we began covering the Razzie race as a parody of Entertainment Weekly's coverage of the Oscars. We know now the parody was never funny, but that won't stop us from handicapping this year's nominees.

Full list of nominees here. The Razzies wisely dropped their new category, Tiresome Tabloid Targets (sorry, Kramer) and replaced it with the Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment.

- Media Yenta's Unemployed Brother.

Who will win?


Wicker Man. Director Nick LaBute spent any remaining capital eked from initial films like In the Company of Men with this misguided remake of a furry favorite. Never remake any film classic starring Michael York, let alone one with an overrated theme song. Here's the low-lights.

Nominated for: Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Screen Couple (Nicolas Cage "& His Bear Suit"), Worst Remake.

Will win: Screen Couple, Worst Movie, Worst Actor, Worst Remake.

Basic Instinct 2. Let's face it, this movie was a gift to the Razzie Academy.

Nominated for: Worst Picture, Worst Actress (Sharon Stone), Worst Screen Couple ("Sharon Stone's Lop-Sided Breasts"), Worst Director (Michael Caton-Jones), Worst Supporting Actor (David Thewlis), Worst Sequel.
Will win: If the Razzies are lazy, then this will sweep all, cheating Nic Cage and his bear suit.

Little Man. Semi-sequel to White Chicks. What's next, Gypsy Lepers? (Memo to Wayans: Gypsy Lepers, my idea).

Nominated for: Worst Picture, Worst Actor (Marlon and Shawn), Worst Screen Couple (Shawn Wayans & "EITHER Kerry Washington OR Marlon Wayans"), Worst Remake (rip-off of a Bugs Bunny cartoon, apparently), Worst Director (Keenan Ivory Wayans), Worst Screenplay.
Will win: Could nab Remake, upsetting Wicker Man. Shawn's acting could cement Worst Couple nominee, denying it to bear suit and lop-sided breasts.

Lady in the Water. As if Basic Instinct 2 wasn't enough classic crap for the year. This movie is so bad, a book decrying its shittiness was published weeks before its release. A "fairy tale for grown-ups"? Pass -- bad enough I had to pretend to enjoy Pan's Labyrinth.
Nominated for: Worst Picture, Worst Supporting Actor, Worst Director, Worst Screenplay.
Will win: Screenplay is M. Night Shyamalan's to lose. As for Supporting Actor, he is a giant among fellow noms Danny DeVito and Martin Short.

Tim Allen. Nominated Worst Actor for three movies: The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, The Shaggy Dog, and Zoom. Remember Zoom, the teenaged superhero movie?

Who should win?


Nacho Libre. This summer flick started its ad campaign early. Every bus, magazine and street poster had Jack Black as a Mexican wrestler on it. Then it was released on DVD and the horrible ads were back. Honestly the comedy is so disconnected, detached, and as ironic as a Hallmark card, I could only watch in five-minute clumps. Then I gave up. Like Three Amigos, it tries to parody Mexico by having everyone speak English in a funny accent. Nominated for: nada.

Horror Movies. Shit sells. Or at least that's what a precocious child whispered to me while staring at the walls.

Everything nominated for Worst Excuse for Family Entertainment. Congrats to Deck The Halls, Garfield 2: A Tail Of Two Kitties, RV, Santa Clause 3, and The Shaggy Dog!

Here's to 2007 and the release of Uwe Boll's Postal. In the meanwhile, the 2006 Razzie winners will be announced Saturday, Feb. 24th.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007





Lover/astronaut Lisa Nowak and host and Daily Show host Jon Stewart.

Just saying...

Monday, January 29, 2007

Google Ad Sense made too much sense:

My friend from college's father died last month. He wrote about the last day with his father and how much he meant to him. I met his father a few times and knew my buddy always wanted his dad's approval and that he's dad was always beeming with pride when I saw them together. To read that his father called him out of the blue a month before his sudden death to tell him how much he loved him was amazing.

It was good to read that his entire family, including ex-wives and step parents were there bedside for his last moments.

The comment section was filled with readers of his blog and friends wishing him well and telling stories of their own loss. It was really touching to see people open up about their private pain like that. It gave them a chance to share this experience with someone.

Just before the comment section was a "Google Ads" banner with a link to sympathy cards. Way to go. The Google Ads is supposed to have some great spy like technology that can sense what the blog is about and then try to sell someone the reader would be interested in.

Sunday, January 28, 2007


here's a website tells you what you need to know to be an extra in a movie.

It's filled with so much good information- It even has the current date in the corner.

So if you wan to be walking in teh background of some film or want to be yelled at by a 2nd, 2nd, 2nd AD who's nervouse this gig will cost him his career - then this is teh place for you.