Thursday, May 29, 2008

Mad Men return dates!

Are you ready for more? This show could've ended after the first season and I would;'ve been happy. But they brought us more! More!
YAY:

Stolen from "What's Alan Watching?":
Jon Hamm's dimples will return on Sunday Jule 27th at Ten. Nice. Something worth watching.


It might have been smart to wait until after the Emmys. Hopefully it will sweep the awards. Or the Emmy folk will ignore it like The Wire and The Sopranos.
DVD of season one: July 1. It will also be on On Demand which is where you can watch it in HD. (I have a black and white HD. It's cheaper.
For more details, ask Alan.
Here's the cool opening...

The CW lives by the code!

I like how they say, "Every story is intriguing." Like, "Unlike half the crap from the last one."

Is it good that they added a regular black cast mate.

--You mean a black family moved in the zip code?


nope that would violate TV's "No more than two black people in a show" clause (usually one man and one woman). This guy is adopted "Diff'rent Strokes" style. The white dad saved this black guy from a mysterious and bad life. Really? It would've killed you to hire a mom and dad and possible a sibling? Maybe two regular cast members?

The "Webster" style character is played by the kid who killed Snoop on "The Wire." Maybe he's running away from Slim Charles.


Yes, I know the Jewish family adopted a white guy off the street on "The OC."

Sunday, May 25, 2008

What's Hot in Hollywood!?!?

Texting your friends warnings not to see the new Indiana Jones flick. This "word of mouth" gone wrong is spreading the bad news about the Crystal movie around the country faster than the Andromeda Strain. (Not to be confused with the mini series on A&E this Monday and in fact really good.)

Friday, May 23, 2008

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Kennedy getting better : relief to hack comics everywhere

Thousands of hack comics breathed a sigh of relief when Massachusetts Senator was able to return home from a hospital stay where doctors discovered a brain tumor.

The Great Senator has been a staple of comedians' acts for many years. With his heavy new England accent, his sorted lifestyle and his famous family - comedians have been able to ignore his great contributions to this country and make him the butt of many drinking jokes.

But now with his worsening health, it might not be appropriate to make fun of a sick man. This reporter sends his prayers to the Senator and his family.


"This doesn't just affect us, the road comics," stated Tucker Bryans aka "The White Shucky Ducky" from his Chevy Nova/home in Waco Texas, "Morning dj's, Afternoon talk show hosts, night time dj's. Even the funny guy in the office would be at a great loss if the senator does not get better."

"Impersonating the Senator, alluding that he's a drunk and that he might have killed a woman, is great fodder and paid for this #4 combo meal we are enjoying, " said the generous Juan Tomato of the comedy team "Tomato and Pepe."

Please note: This reporter had a #2 not a #4. Pepe did not have anything since he is a foam squirrel puppet.

"What's the big deal? I still do George Burns talking to Dr. Ruth. They've been dead for years,*" piped up Voice-o, "The man of 127 voices" - five of which are unfair racial stereotypes.
"I'll just change it up. 'Tedd Kennedy recovering from brain surgery, it would go a little something like this(VOICE-O TURNS AROUND AND TURNS BACK TO THIS REPORTER AND THEN TURNS BACK)..."Erra, erra, erra, ouch...' It writes itself. I just pray Deniro doesn't fal in a pit or something. Now can I take your order?"

Please note: This reporter ordered the meatloaf special with curly fries. This reporter also had a Diet Pepsi, even though he asked for a Diet Coke.

*Please note: This reporter is happy to report that Dr. Ruth is very much alive.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Byron Allen to moderate the Dem debate


In order to keep the next Democratic debate interesting, the party has decided to make it a party by tapping none other than Byron Allen to moderate/host.
Allen is of course the host of the interview shows "The Entertainers" and "Kickin' it with Byron Allen." This debate will be in the style of his latest after hours show, "Comics Unleashed."

This debate will mark the first time Allen has been on TV before 1 AM since "Real People."

Here's what to expect:
The debate is on the "Comics Unleashed" set that looks like a bachelor pad in the 70's.

Allen:
Time to get unleashed. Say hello to Barack Obama! Hillary Clinton!
Cedric the Entertainer! And Kim Coles!
Obama: Thank you.
Clinton: Thank you, Byron.
Cedric The Entertainer: What up.
Coles: Ladies in the house!

Allen: Obama, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you are for "change." What's that all about?
Obama: Yes, I think it's time for America...

Allen: OK. OK...Hillary, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you like to take calls at 3 AM. What's that all about?
Clinton: Well Byron, it's not that I like to get calls, I have the experience in case God forbid it happens.

Allen: OK. OK...Kim, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you don't like the dating scene. What's that all about?
Kim: Nope. You go on an internet date, you might get a virus. HA! You have to look out for number one, right ladies?

Allen: OK. OK...Barack, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand people say that you are a Muslim. What's that all about?
Obama: I am not a Muslim. I am a Christian. I am a devout Christian. I have been a member of the same church for 20 years. I pray to Jesus every night.

Allen: OK. OK...Hllary, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you tell people that Barack is a Muslim. What's that all about?
Hillary: Of course not. I mean, that, you know, there is no basis for that. I take him on the basis of what he says. And, you know, there isn't any reason to doubt that. No. No, there is nothing to base that on. As far as I know.

Allen: OK. OK...Cedric, (READS FROM HIS CARD) I understand you hate to fly. What's that all about?
Cedric The Entertainer: Have you seen the size of the peanut bags they try to give you? I'm a grown ass man!
(CROWD GOES WILD)

Allen:We'll be right back.

Comic Vs. Audience: A Comedy Podcast Review

Comic Vs. Audience: A Comedy Podcast Review

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Announcement from Altavista

The search engine Altavista Made an announcement at a large press comference today.
"We still exist. F Google."

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Same sex marriage ban lifted, noncommittal gays shake in boots

"I can't use the law as a reason not to commit," says blogger ORange35981, "I like the way things were. Now I have to find another excuse or move to Seattle."

Homosexuals in the past would have a civil union, but not be unified or recognized by the government. You could call someone your "wife" or "husband" without being legally bond to it.

There was some restraint. Some gay men would wait up to 3 years of dating someone before referring to him or him as his husband. Lesbians would wait even as long as dessert on the first date before committing to a life together.

"I knew this woman was to be my wife right away," says Notorange12, "From the moment she answered my ad, I knew she was the one. I got her email and immediately hired a moving truck.

Great News! More According to Jim!


ABC was smart enough to bring back the long running "According to Jim." If you haven't seen the show it centers around Jim, played by Jim Belushi author of "Real Men Don't Apologize," who is married and has three kids. He struggles each week to remain the king of his castle. The show has been on since 2001.

This season the show was hardly promoted and airing at different times. It almost felt like they were just burning off the episodes so they can later sell them off to syndication. It's owned by the network that airs it.

My only regret about the sitcom/famcom staying around one more year after a year of it hardly airing or being promoted,is that Jim and the rest of his hilarious cast and writers are locked up for another year and will be unable to give us other shows or movies. What a loss.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

News 3rd hand: Subways have video ads

We give it to you third.


Laist.com reports that metro.net reports that video ads will appear on subway windows.
It says that it will bring a minimum of $240,000. Is that worth it?

Sue Simmons drops the f word

UPDATE! the video was pulled. So here's a great moment from Jeopardy...

Early word: ABC line up

Stolen from Deadline Hollywood Daily
MONDAY
8 PM: Dancing With The Stars
Mid-Season -- UNTITLED TYRA BANKS/ASHTON KUTCHER PROJECT (new)
9 PM: Samantha Who?
10 PM: Boston Legal
Mid-Season -- The Bachelor

TUESDAY
8 PM: OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS contest show (new)
9 PM: Dancing with the Stars
Mid-Season -- SCRUBS (moved from NBC)
Mid-Season -- THE GOODE FAMILY (new)
10 PM: Eli Stone

WEDNESDAY
8 PM: Pushing Daisies
9 PM: Private Practice
10 PM: Dirty Sexy Money

THURSDAY
8 PM: Ugly Betty
9 PM: Grey's Anatomy
10 PM: LIFE ON MARS (new)

FRIDAY
8 PM: Wife Swap
9 PM: Supernanny
10 PM: 20/20

SATURDAY
College Football

SUNDAY
7 PM: America’s Funniest Home Videos
8 PM: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
9 PM: Desperate Housewives
10 PM: Brothers & Sisters

Monday, May 12, 2008

Save Fraiser!


In order to save his show, Grammer has gone to the people and asked for their help. Hey Jericho freaks, you got any peanuts left?

A real email going around...

----- Original Message -----

From: KG

To: Undisclosed Recipients

Subject: BACK TO YOU


HEY GUYS,

How are you? Can you please go on this site and sign a petition to save Back to You? Fox cancelled it on Friday and if you feel like helping us out, we would appreciate it. We were really surprised by their decision and think the show is worth fighting for.

If you agree, there is a petition that can be signed at: http://www.petitionspot.com/signature/back2useason2. If you join the Back to You message board at www.Fox.com, you can sign in and say something nice about the show. These boards can be a lot of fun. Go to "Back to You" then press "message boards." There will be related links there with others who want to save the show.

We are also hoping that CBS will have some interest, so if you wish to e-mail them and campaign on our behalf, you won't hear us complaining. Even if nothing happens it would be nice for everyone that worked on this show to know that there were many who liked it. We would love your support.

Cheers!

Camille and Kelsey

Brits rejoice!

David E. Kelley's version of "Life on Mars" got picked up and McG's version of "Spaced" did not.

ABC picks up Boston Legal and some other show

I'm a fan of Boston Legal even though they took off the guy from "Benson," but they replaced him with the guy from "Night Court." They also added the blandest character in TV history. This British woman who does nothing but protect the very funny, but over used crazy guy character with her soft voice. There's no character there.

Maybe this year they will use the black characters for more than just a cameo in the opening credits. Oh, can we stop putting black men in drag? Enough. It's tired. Oh, and does the show's only black woman have to be sassy?

Still I'm a fan.

ABC also picked up Eli Stone. Not for a full season, just 13 episodes. Just long enough for people to continue not watching it.
The cast of Boston Legal from Left to Right...Top Row Night Court guy, the Shats, Sex, Lies and Video Tape guy, Murphy Brown. Next row, Hot Chick with stupid back story, very boring British character, Funny over used guy, black chacter in men's clothing. (not pictured - black female character.)

Seinfeld dodges "Sureal Life" for one more day.

Finally someone is giving Jerry Seinfeld co-star of a sitcom another shot. He has not worked regularly since his show was yanked off the air almost ten years ago.

From Newser.com
A new Jerry Seinfeld series is in the works at NBC, says Page Six. The comedian, 53, is in talks with his former network about a show that’s being pitched as “just like Curb Your Enthusiasm, but with Jerry, instead of Larry.” Once again, Seinfeld will play himself in New York in “an exaggerated reality,” writes the Page Six staff.

This sounds great. Jerry talks to his staff of nannies. He says hello to his body guard. Asks his chefs what they are making for dinner. His private jet takes off when he gets there. Just like you and me. It's the modern day Roseanne.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I CALLED IT!


Way back in February I pondered who will be the first show to do a strike episode. Let the naval gazing begin. Law & Order. A striking legal aid worker gets hit by a car on the picket line. (Which happened to a writer on the first or second day.)

Well, does it count as navel gazing if the show that has things "ripped from the headlines" writes about something that happened 6 months ago?

Yes. It's my Bloggerpro account. I can do what I please.

Tribute: Uwe Boll best of the worst

Here's a just a start to long drawn out tribute to the greatest worst filmmaker ever.

A petition was sent around to stop Uwe Boll from making movies. Here's his response.



From New York Magazine:
ITNOTK:ADST is the latest offering from Germany's legendary filmmaker Uwe Boll, who has been called everything from "a modern Ed Wood" to "such a bad director", but no matter how many bizarre interviews he gives, how many deranged e-mails he sends, or how many critics he boxes, his nonstop energy for adapting video games into ramshackle feature films funded by German tax loopholes never seems to flag.

A review of this film to come.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Wiki gets wacky


Wikipedia entry minutes before they yanked it off the site. The keen eye of Reezman42389 found this slander of a hero. He will be getting a "Real People" t-shirt.

Read all the way to the end. Trust me. I know reading is boring and hurts your eyes. Just give it a try.


Click on Image to see it.

Monday, May 05, 2008

The Gong show is back. One more try!


For the third time in 7 years they are trying to bring back the Gong Show. They've already did pilots with Tom Arnold and more recently with Jeff Ross. Now it's Dave Attell's turn to host a doomed pilot.

It seems like such a good idea. Everyone says they want to see or air that show. But it hasn't worked. Why not? Ross seemed like a perfect host for the show, likable and ready to insult you in the nicest way. Attell also seems like a good idea.

for some reason the show has not caught on or even gotten out of the gate. I hope it does. It was a fun show. Maybe it's just a moment in time.

America's Got Talent figured out how to make it work. they ripped that and Idol off and combined it. It's the seriousness of that show that makes it work in this day and age of finding-the-next-top-whatever. (Please not: tomorrow I'm pitching "America's Next Top Podiatrist." The auditions will be wonderful. Don't steal it!)

They brought back in the 80's for minute and then around 2000 The Game Show Network did. "Extreme Gong" a low budget interactive show.

Here's how to audition for the pilot. And don't worry, if you don't make this pilot, just wait for the next one.
----
The series will begin taping soon, so get your unusual, crazy, stupid human and pet tricks ready and send a link of your video-taped act to gongshowcasting@aol.com or contact Hedda Muskat, Casting Producer at 310-413-2861 to schedule a live audition in Los Angeles, Las Vegas or New York City.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

"Can We Get More Bush?"


Allure did a photo spread where they got five random actresses and talked them into posing naked (and covering up the good parts). Four of the women are on ABC shows (Gabriel Union just finished an arc on Ugly Betty.)

The fifth is the great singer Jill Scott.

Allure is supposed to be "celebrating" all types of women...but they covered up the non super skinny one. The beautiful Jill Scott is almost totally behind a tree. (It's a bush, I get it, don't argue with those types of things. You know I'm right.)

You are forcing me to see as much as Skinny Minnie as you can fit on two pages and then hide the thick goodness of Jill Scott! Why invite a woman to celebrate her body if you are going to just hide it?

Allure, are you saying you can be heavy, just don't show anyone?

Let me get back to my Snack Wells and Diet Shiraz (from skinny grapes).

Friday, May 02, 2008

Movie guide!

If you like to watch black guys play "the best friend" role and not have any of the real action, you have two choices!
Iron Man and Made of Honor!
There's Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. has funny lines, sleeps with Leslie Bibb, get kidnapped and flies around in a cool suit that he made. Terrence is the high ranking military official who gives advice to the hero and helps out when he can. Apparently he did more in the movie, but hey cut it down to a buddy role. I know he's supposed to do more teh next movie. I'm talking about this one!

Made of Honor. About a white guy who now wants his best female friend now that she found someone she loves. He does whatever he can to stop the wedding and prove to her that he's made of honor despite ruining her wedding. Oh, his black friend helps him. If you watch the trailer, don't blink.

Yes, I saw the midnight showing of Iron Man!


The place was packed and it being LA The director Jon Favreau came out before the showing and interrupted the Arclight usher. He understood that most of us bought our tickets early and felt bad that they just added earlier showings so he gave us a treat. He brought out...Robert Downey Jr. The star of Chaplin and other action films was funny and brief. He said he remember a time when you could smoke a "spliff" in famed Cinerama Dome. Then Fav told us to wait until the end of the credits.

I liked the movie a lot. I know some people were disappointed. Not me. It's not a perfect film by any stretch. But fun.

Bad guys (they made sure to point out that they were a group of guys from different countries. Not one nationality that is bad - just everyone that's not us. The bad guys want to get their hands on Downey's very powerful "Jericho missile." Why did they call it Jericho? Because it bombs twice.

Oh, john was right about waiting after the credits.

This is not me:

New Comedy Record Record



Flight Of The Conchords album debuts on the Billboard chart.

This beats Dane Cook's CD Retaliation as the highest debuting comedy CD. Dane beat Steve Martin's album.

Recently I listened to Martin's old album. I don't think it holds up. No it doesn't. I loved it as a kid.

Will people feel that way about Cook in 20 years? I don't know.

I think Flight of the Conchords will hold up. they are good songs as well as funny. They are not parodies. Although Weird "Al" can still make me laugh. Then I slap myself hard.