Sunday, November 30, 2003

Repeating His Story

"History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce," wrote a hack, probably on a deadline for a Michael Jackson column. And he wouldn't be the only one. David Ehrenstein, in 11/28 - 12/4 issue of the L.A. Weekly starts his "Perp of Pop" piece:

"'History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce,' a puckish German wit once quipped. But were Karl Marx alive today, he would doubtless find both tragedy and comedy in the pedophile scandals of that most egregious piece of late-20th-century detritus, Michael Jackson."

And, in the 12/1 issue of Newsweek,
Jonathan Alter begins his "Between the Lines" column:
"History, Karl Marx said, repeats itself first as tragedy, then as farce. So what does farce repeat
itself as? Cliche?"

Let's compromise, shall we: If Marx was alive now, he wouldn't give a shit about Michael Jackson; and, yes, his quote is indeed a cliche.

- Media Yenta's Brother

Monday, November 24, 2003

Is the Food Network the last stop in the highway of celebrity? Why do Bill Boggs and Bobby Rivers have a cooking show? Who? Exactly!

Friday, November 21, 2003

King of Pop Will Eat Itself

"CBS, which announced on Wednesday that it would shelve its planned Michael Jackson special, said on Thursday that it will devote Saturday evening's 48 Hours Investigates to the latest child molestation allegations against the pop star, replacing a planned investigation into fad diets."

So, it's bad for CBS to promote Michael Jackson, but it's good for Michael Jackson to promote CBS? Maybe they can show the shelved special footage after all, but this time as an "CBS EXCLUSIVE!"

- Media Yenta's Brother

Thursday, November 20, 2003

Saving Private Interests

Everything I've ever learned I learned from TV movies. For example, you can do anything as long as you've got your dreams and a swifty-edited montage; Medith Baxter-Birney needs to stop marrying creeps; and, it's ok to fudge facts unless it involves a fact-fudging president, then that's taboo. This last bon mot was all the rage a few weeks ago, when conservative groups stopped CBS from airing an upcoming TV movie about Ronald Reagan ( Boo hoo, Fox News, if you're more popular than CNN and NPR combined, stop acting like the liberals run the show.)

The Reagan miniseries has now been banished to Showtime, a fate I wouldn't even wish on Arli$$. No one saw the movie (myself included), but we read about it, and the stuff we read was enough. The facts were inaccurate; groups protested, justice was served...

...Until the following weekend, when the ElizabethSmart and Jessica Lynch TV movies aired. I didn't read about any protests on those two. I did read an AP interview with Private Lynch, who clarified some issues, while promoting her new book. Her rifle jammed, for example, and it was her fellow soldiers who shot Iraqis that fateful day, not her. She has also indicated that the hospital wanted to help the US rescuers and that she was taken back a bit from the videotaped "rescue." "It disturbed me," she said. "I knew it wasn't the truth." I doubt Saving Jessica Lynch covered any of that (Being a TV expert myself, I of course didn't watch it).

So why haven't the same groups poo-pooing The Reagans aren't also poo-pooing Saving Jessica Lynch? I do applaud them attacking inaccurate docudramas, but if you go after one, shouldn't you go after all?

Otherwise, it stinks of cheap politics, and that smells worse than any TV movie.

- Media Yenta's Brother

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

CBS Postpones Jackson Special
Broadcasting & Cable
11/19/2003 5:30 PM

CBS said late Wednesday it is postponing its plan to air a Michael Jackson special that the network has scheduled for the last day of sweeps, Nov. 26.
Santa Barbara, Calif., authorities on Wednesday issued an arrest warrant for Jackson on multiple counts of child molestation.

Well here's the answer... What wimps! This makes sense. Bad timing.

CBS is a publically held company and clearly answer to the advertisers before the fans. But at this point, who is a fan? Who is willing to let their kids watch a scary looking guy who is under investigation for child abuse? "And now a word from Tide."

I'm surprise no one saw Michael Jackson as a threat before. With Album titles like, Off the Wall, Bad, and Child Molester, you'd think someone would be tipped off.
From Cynthia Turner's Cynopsis:

WB has ordered six eps of a new reality show from Jamie Kennedy's Wannabe Producers prod company, says Variety. The show is aptly titled Wannabe about a group of aspiring actresses who wannabe big time actresses.

Why would WB go back in business w/ Jamie Kennedy? The reality show he has on the air with them now, barely gets any viewers. I'm shocked that they didn't can it a long time ago. That show I guess is cheap enough to keep on and then sell that thing into syndication.

I guess they are doing the same thing with Steve Harvey's Big Time. That show is against Survivor and Friends. But if it's cheap enough, and enough people are watching leave it on.

But why go back to the guy that gave you a non hit and give him more money? This business is great. You can fail, and fail up.

From Cynthia Turner's Cynopsis:

...a story in today's New York Post suggests there may be some question as to whether or not the special will air at all given yesterday's events. Can't imagine that will be the case. CBS is scheduled to air the special next week.

First of all, I just quoted a source that quoted a source. Please someone quote me quoting Cynthia quoting the NYP!

What will CBS do now? We now know that they will cave into conservative pressure. What if MSNBCPDQ, FOX NEWS, and the other conservative BS artists start killing time on their vast canvas of nothingness and bitch that CBS should pull the Michael Jackson Special b/c his house was raided? Will CBS move the special to Showtime? Or is Less Moonves so embarrassed of the fall out from the Reagan mini series, that he'll stand his ground?

If you notice, every show on CBS is a cop show where someone is brutally murdered. Crime rate might be down in NYC, but way up on CBS. Is that family entertainment? Do you want to watch yet another show about a strangled hooker with your Five year old? I think CBS has already crossed the taste line.

And you can quote me on that. Or Cynthia.

Monday, November 17, 2003

Kim Chee-zy

It wouldn't be a holiday season without the annual Celebrity Sell-out (see Myers, Mike in "Cat in the Hat"), but this year's Xmas Ho is a doozy. Keep your TV set on for fifteen minutes and you'll see Li'l Kim hawking Old Navy. Of course, crying foul on an Old Navy commercial is shooting fish in a barrel, but there's something offensive about a hip hop star promoting the "hood," i.e., a sweatshirt with a hood.

Too bad Kim isn't from Newark, because then she could sell "Jersey Hoods" (that's a pun).

Li'l Kim wearing Old Navy? Her MTV award schtick is to wear risque clothing, like her infamous exposed booby in '99. Think she now hangs out at the mall with Missy Eliot and Madonna?

- Media Yenta's Brother
ABC is pulling and retooling "Karen Sisco." The show is based on the Jennifer Lopez character from "Out of Sight." In that film, she falls in love with the criminal she's bringing to justice. It seems from the ads for the TV show that every week she falls in love with the guy she's chasing. It gets tired after a bit.

Maybe ABC should do what they did with "Dragnet." last year they took a tried and true and old formula and tried it in today's TV market. The first time "Dragnet" was on, it was on radio. The last time it was in syndication and shot up in Canada. Not enough people were watching it in syndication, why would they think it would work in Network TV?

To spice things up, every crime was about a dead hooker or a dead honors school girl who was actually doing porn on the side. ABC pulled and retooled the show and added 14,000 good looking, ethnically diverse cops, making the old Joe Friday guy a leader, not a clue follower.

Would this work? We will never know. ABC was so proud of this Law and Order: SVU rip off that they shoved it on the lowest night of the week. Saturday, after the family friendly "Wonderful World of Disney."

What was the logic? The family watches "Toy Story 2" then the kids go to bed at 10 PM and mommy and daddy get their dead hooker on?

Karen Sisca, hardly knew ya. Maybe she should chase all different races of men, then get dumped every episode.

Sisco, also stars, my favorite actor Robert something. So I hope it works out.

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

The movie "Love Actually" opens on Friday. It stars, Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Roland Akenson, and Alan Rickman. It answers the question, "What ever happened to that British actor?"

It's like a British "love Boat." A movie version of "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here." If only George Kenedy had an acent, he'd be in that film.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Yesterday on MSNBC:

I was watching the "news" channel. They seem to go way over the top to be right wing. They are so over the top, they make FOX NEWS CHANNEL seem subtle.

It's soooooo obvious and annoying. So during their afternoon newscast, they had a round table discussion about the Reagan Mini series that CBS was going to air. The two guests and the moderator were all right wingers. Very much so. If FOX NEWS is "fair and balanced" (Which it's not), Then MSNBC "Very Fair, Very Balanced." I get it, people watch FOX NEWS. FOX NEWS is conservative. Is that why people are watching? Or is it... Oh forget it.

Anyhow, one of the three talking heads was Michael Medved, the movie reviewer turn right wing wacko. Some how, one day, he started saying Hollywood is bad and then became a spokesman for what is moral and right.

All three men agreed (which always makes for a good argument) that mini-series is a travesty and it shouldn't be on the air. They all praised Reagan and said the Mini would put the president that ignored AIDS and broke the air traffic controller strike in a bad light.

Then they started blaming the liberals, which should be the name of all their shows.
"Up next, Blaming the Liberals with Chuck Cushman."
They made it sound like the liberal wrote, shot, edited, and acted in the historical drama.
Like the "Liberals" control every part of the media. Obviously not if there's 3 right wing all news channels.

Then they said that the liberals would never make a studio picture condemning Clinton. They all agreed. As did Medved. Is Medved that concerned with making a point that he forgot about a little film called "Primary Colors?" You know the under the radar film that starred A-listers John Travolta, Billy Bob Thorton and that British chick that was a movie star and is now two indie films away from a CBS sitcom?

I can under stand two Bullshit talking heads to "not know" that a major film condemning Clinton came out, but Medved should've known better.

I tried to write MSNBCPDQ-Cougar-Meloncamp, but it was impossible to find anything on their website. I wrote Medved, but there was a disclaimer that he get so many emails, that he might not read mine. Maybe he's too busy reading emails to still know anything about film?

MSNBC and the other channels are trying so hard to have something to say and fill time that they start witch-hunts.

Well, CBS is pulling the Reagan mini series. They caved in. They might put it on Showtime which doesn’t have advertisers. So that must be the real reason. The advertisers wanted to pull out, so they put it on their pay cable channel.

A Hitler mini series showing the lighter side of the dictator is ok, but a show showing Reagan screwing up is bad.

here's my untrue facts that I'll state and stand by so people will believe it:
The Hitler Movie had a dance number!
From Marc Berman:

...and the biggest flop of the new season,
Fox's Skin (3.2/ 4). Did anyone really think there would be much interest
in a serious drama out of a frivolous reality hour where one of the
patriarchs is a successful adult film industry producer?

Yes, FOX did. They really did. They plastered the Baseball play offs with ads for a show so sexy, so hot, so dirty, that they'd have to censor it for TV, but it'll seem hot atleast. (It's like HBO, but without it actually being dirty.)

FOX was ready to show the ep's on Monday and rerun them on Thursday against CSI. Rerunning a show in a night where everyone is watching something else, isn't such a bad idea. FOX was going to put The O.C. on Thursdays, until it became a big hit, so they decided to have it anchor Wednesdays and move the sinking Bernie Mac Show to Sundays after the Simpsons.

Shouldn't it be the other way around? If the O.C. did so well in teh trial run, why not put it up on Thursday to challenge the big boys? That's what CBS did with Survivor. the show did so well in the summer, that they decided to move it from Wednesdays at 8, the original idea for a fall time slot, right against Friends on Tursday. Then they took their only other hit seeming show from their line up and moved CSI from Friday to Thursday.

Once again, I must apeal to CBS, switch CSI and Without a Trace. WaT is at 10 PM against er3: back in action. People are hooked to the last 10 minutes of Survivor, then they's stay for the next show. Will & Grace is not a powerhouse like er or Friends. So why throw your best stuff at it? Put WaT at 9 and make people chose CSI over the over done er.
(Please note: a new mandate from CBS; all shows but be abriviated. Sorry, ELR.)

Now back to the subject at hand

Well, FOX built a show and no one came. The Monday debuts for Joe Millionare and Skin weren't. No one watched either show.No one wanted to see a hot cowboy lie to Hot Europians or a show that 's about sex, but never shows any.

So then FOX reruns Skin on like Tuesday Thursday and Sunday. They must have been in a board meeting at along table the next day:

"I don't know what happened? We gave them sex. They must not have heard us."

Each night before they's run the ads: "He's a porno director and she's a hot piece of ass." After no one watched on Monday, I could've sworn that the announcer started to be more aggressive in his ads.


Noone watched the repeats to the piot durring the week. They tried one more time on Sunday. This time, I could swear the announcer was at my door.

Me: Who is it?

I always like when a show with an evil rich Jewish media mogal is a bad guy and the super white poor, but principled Irish guy fails. Don't Fuck with the Jews. Or should I say, DFWTJ.