Saturday, November 29, 2008

I'm not one to tattle but...

If you watched the finale of the "The Shield" [no spoilers]you might have noticed a little confusion on who is paying the bills.

Just before the credits roll and and just after Vic Mackey pokes his eyes out with a hot poker (did not happen) and the show ended the guy with the super deep voice announce that the show was sponsored by Direct TV. Fine. This is obviously a cable show, so you need some thing to watch it on, why not Direct TV.

During the show itself I counted at least two commercials for Time/Warner that attacked Direct TV and said it was crap.

Didn't we learn anything from the Kerry/Bush Campaign? Can't we promise not to sling mud? See how well it worked for new president?

Yes, we will take your money and then quickly shank you twice. Enjoy.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Read the fine print...

I saw this film at Best Buy---I love vampire films...oooh, Bram Stoker! that's official! I love Dracula... oh.... wait...ugh. Here's what I imagined:


Guest: "Hey, Drac, it's me your pal from high school. I haven't heard from you in years. I saw you on Facebook. So I thought I'd say hi."
Dracula: "Dude! Remember that woman you both bit at the same time! How are you? Next time you are in town, you MUST stay with us. My wife and I insist. She's dying to meet you...if she could die, but she's undead. You know what I mean.

Guest: Thanks dude. I'll be gone on Monday. I was hoping we could go out...
Dracula: Stay as long as you like... Please. My castle is your castle.
Guest: Dude, I will only be here for the weekend or until my wife takes me back. She's such a pain. Very unreasonable. She's not cool like you.

Dracula: Bro, bro, bro maybe you should start looking for your own place, maybe? I wouldn't ask you but, Doris is kind of on my back. Maybe you can pick up toilet paper or something...
Guest: Get off my back, brau. This is so uncool. I told you I was looking.!
Dracula: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You'll live forever- on my couch!

Ok, here's the real trailer.

Here's the real trailer:

I guess Joan Rivers is looking for a booker

An ad on would not disclose who they were, but with a little, very little detective work I have figured it out!

First they said that it was hosted by a " world-famous talkshow host" and the show is booking millionaires - which is what her show she sold was about.

Here's one thing they left out when they sold the show...They don't know any rich folk.


job title: Other (Interview Booker)

job start: December 1 job end: February 27
total weeks: 12

show name: NA
network: NA

company: NA
location: LA/NY

job description:

News/Talk Bookers

New magazine show hosted by world-famous talkshow host is staffing EXPERIENCED BOOKERS with a track record of booking interviews with self-made millionaires.

Show features high-net worth individuals (NOT celebrities).

We're looking for someone who has the resources to scour the country for self-made businessmen and women with a net worth of at least $50 million

You need to be bright, creative and charming enough to land interviews and lock bookings with some of the wealthiest, most powerful, and most influential individuals in the world.

5+ years booking Talk Show or News required

Offices in Los Angeles and New York

Position starts Dec/Jan and will go approx. 12 weeks.

May include travel.

Please send resume/credit list to:
with the subject line "Booker"

Deadline to submit resumes:
November 21, 2008

No phone calls please

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

shows that are pulled from the TIVO

Ok, it's a DVR, but I'm embarrassed like it's the Pathmark version. I was a middle class kid in a rich town. It was embarrassing to grow up with only one cleaning lady.

My new DVR can only hold a certain amount of stuff and HD takes up so much room that I have to let some shows go.
So these are TV series that I gave up on watching and is gone forever. I would rather delete it than watch it.

First to go, like most years, was Prison Break. Last season it took a couple of seasons to declare the plot ridiculous. They are sent to a lawless Panama prison where everyone is American and no one wears Tommy Bahama.

This season all the characters find each other and are working for the government. Like the last season of the A*team. That show ended after season 2.

Then, this was a hard one, Pushing Daisies. I really like the show, but they all seem the same. No development. Every episode was the same. I think it's gone anyway.

People say you can't make movies about Hollywood b/c it's too inside and middle America doesn't get it. So my next victim is the biggest insider show of them all. "House." I'm no doctor, I can't guess the ending. I don't know what tests they should run or what it means. Like most people I just watch it because Dr. House is a great character. But I ain't gots the space. So the Doctor is out!

I gave up Ugly Betty, but I went back this weekend to watch last weeks show. It's like throwing out a delicious chocolate cake, only to brush it off and eat it the next morning.

I'm holding out hope for "Boston Legal" which cut out most of the smaller characters and concentrates now on Spader and Shatner. I guess the budget was cut and they figured they needed to use their stars. The show is comfort food. SInce it's the last season I can't delete it. I can't watch it either.
Finally, I'm holding out hope for "Life on Mars." The writing is sloppy and goofy, but I'm holding out hope that it will figure itself out. My guess is they will change show runners.

BUT I have to point out that last week's episode, the one with the hostage situation, used the exact same daunting music that you find on "Lost." You can't do that. It's someone else's style.

I will give the show credit for the episode. When I saw they were doing the old "Hostage" episode. I almost put myself in a coma. There's no bigger hack concept than a hostage situation at a bank. Where one of the characters accidentally shows up and the whole episode is an homage to "Dog Day Afternoon" without the gay parts.

But "LOM's" crisis was at a hospital and they were called there b/c they are cops. Whew. Besides the music issue, I thought it was a good episode. Hope for the future for a show about the past.

Monday, November 17, 2008

DL Hughley Breaks the news

DL Hughley ended his CNN show with "The Sugar HIll Gang" singing "Rapper's Delight." The whole show was really good and I love that that had the TSHG - no need for the latest fly by night band - why not someone everyone loves?

When Hughley took a second to interview them he told his audience - "This ain't your dad's CNN." Meaning that he hipped up the channel. Well it depends on who's father.

Good News for a People who love fonts

I mean the new trailer for the "Angeles & Demons" the new Tom Hanks/wig movie.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

At the Trader Joe's

While grocery shopping at the swanky TJ's on 3rd, I was approached by a man in his sixties. We were in the frozen food isle (Or "Isle of Frozen Food) and he started a conversation. He recommended the BBQ Chicken Teriyaki in a bag.
"It's great when you are alone, like me. It's enough for two meals, when you are alone like me. It's good for a bachelor." How did he know I was a bachelor? The randomly chosen soups, cheese and one tomato?

I'm hung over and staring at the bag now. I feel like I have hit a new all time low, so eating this chicken is appropriate.

Maybe I should call this guy. Get brunch at Urth Cafe or play hoops at West Hollywood park or go to the Abby for Happy hour and tell people while we are not gay, we are not looking for trouble, just a half price choco-tini.

Wait, this is for a microwave. I don't have a microwave. What a waste. YOU MEAN you could tell I live on my own, but you can't tell I don't like microwaves in my home - it feels too much like the office? Party is over!

All time low.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Relax White people!

Rocky III

Tonight at 10:00 PM on AMC: Rocky III.
Again. Whew! If watching McCain lose to a black man without a rematch - AMC has giving you a nice piece of nostalgia.

Beccause kids love references to movies that came out before they were born...

This scene in Risky Business has been copied, parodied, copied, and paid homage to a million times since the film came out in 1983. The sliding across the floor in your socks in an Oxford and tighty whities is the shorthand for freedom.

But it's been 25 years. Let's find other references to steal. Does the writer, set designer and/or wardrobe guy of "Risky Business" get any money when a major commercial "pays homage" to something they came up with?

Sunday, November 02, 2008

The restaurant sounds good and it's always packed. But the chefs/owners seem like huge douche bags. Douche Bags of the week! What happened to Angry coke sniffing chefs? IS that too hard to ask for?