Monday, June 30, 2008

Wacky police Blotters

From The Montclair New Jersey Police Blotter


A Newark man who, according to police, was urinating on the fence of the Social Security building near the Wellmont Theater was given a summons for lewdness, authorities said.

While on patrol, an officer spotted Delcy Harold Ariaspagoaga, 29, relieving himself on the fence at about 2:15 a.m. Friday, June 13, according to police. While police were questioning him he told them, "I guess I’m just having a bad birthday," police said. Ariaspagoaga acknowledged that he had been drinking at Diva Lounge across Bloomfield Avenue earlier that night, authorities said.

After being arrested and issued the summons, he was released.

The Prisoner is finally released

Re-reporting the news...The Futon Critic - a fine collector of press releases reports that AMC will air The Prisoner remake as a miniseries. Which makes sense. The had two main questions - "Why is #6 a prisoner of the island and who is #1?" That's all we need to know.
The show always had a finite ending. Otherwise it would become Lost or Twin Peaks.

It will star (Telephone) Jim (Jesus) Caviezel and Ian McKellen. I'm guessing Caviezel is #6 and McKellen will be the sole #2.

The Futon Critic gives McKellen's credits as "Lord of the Rings, The Da Vinci Code." OH! That Ian McKellen!

Voting for best show.

This weekend I spent 10 hours watching tv dramas on Sunday and about 5 hours watching comedies for the EMMY folk to narrow it down to 5 finalist.

After everyone in the Academy (TV not Police) vote on all the shows - the top ten are picked and a blue ribbon panel of volunteers watches them all and ranks them ten to one. Ten being the best.
The popular vote (ie-the votes from all members who sent in their ballots) and the blue ribbon votes both count as 50% each.

The system is flawed. Each series sends In one episode. the whole season is based on the one episode. They have a sheet of paper with a description, but seriously, no one reads them. So if you never seen Tutors or Lost, it's hard to know what's happening. Or care about a fully developed character.

Without giving away what was there - a couple of shows that I had no idea about took a second to catch on. Still I couldn't help but think the show would be better if I had a relationship with the characters and appreciated how they acted.
Update: Now I can give it away...

Top 10 Comedy Series Finalists

Curb Your Enthusiasm
Family Guy
Flight of the Conchords
The Office
Pushing Daisies
30 Rock
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty

Top 10 Drama Series Finalists

Boston Legal
Friday Night Lights
Grey's Anatomy
Mad Men
The Tudors
The Wire

This might explain why the Sopranos lost many times to "West Wing." Episodes in the mob show worked as chapters leading up to the big (and sometimes disappointing) ending.

West Wingers is a very well written show that can be contained into one episode. That must of helped.
Should 100 people watch 22 hours of each of the 5 or 10 nominated shows? I don't know.

The people running the everything did a great job. I just think the whole system needs an overhaul.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

When FOX news Attacks

FOX News has already start slurring the Democratic challenger.

Obama makes fist bumps uncool.FOX baffled that kids might have strange hand shakes. Break news = High fives.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Laid off from your big time job?

From Craig's List:

Nemesis required. 6-month project with possibilty to extend

Date: 2008-05-07, 2:49PM PDT

I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 35 years old, happily married with two kids and I have a good job in insurance. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. I'm willing to pay $350 up front for you services as an arch enemy over the next six months. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the BART and occasionaly whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconsicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $350 up front

Family of faggot fans fly the flag

Actual Headline from BBC news:
A West Midlands family is playing a central role in the quest to raise the profile of a forgotten British dish - faggots.
The Doody family from Wolverhampton has been crowned The Faggot Family in a national competition, and to kick off their reign they will launch National Faggot Week.

The family will be touring the country extolling the virtues of the dish, which is best-known for its links with the Black Country.

The Doody family were chosen to front the campaign after impressing judges at the Savoy Hotel in London in November.

Oh and this quote:

Her husband Fred added: "It's unfair because faggots were a British delicacy long before any of the others.

"The great British faggot is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year."

Monday, June 23, 2008

Not this time Durden!

There was an item on many of the gossip blogs(which I fully admit to reading-with my international coffee and Stella Dora breakfast treat) about some young lady from that the CW show. Her dog peed on her and her dress in the car. What did she do? She got out in front of a tons of bored paparazzi looking for something to shoot.

Now they will be stalking this woman to get more copy. "hey, how's our dog?" "You need any seltzer?"

Great. Was this a plan? Are they (the publicists or whomever) trying to push this girl on me now too? All in a desperate plea to make the unwatched show more popular than its "OMFG" ad campaign? The campaign did wonders for slang, but not much for ratings.

No! Not this time.

You got me with Paris Hilton. When she was on the cover with her sister of Stuff or FHM or some other defunct men's mag, I proudly declared that these women had no reason to be famous. I was right.

But the sex tape and the constant media attention got me hooked. Then she got a reality show with her best friend. I fell for that and read all about Nichole Richie. She did not disappoint. Right when worrying about her weight was getting boring she drives the wrong way on a highway. Hooked again.

Paris had BFF's coming out of the wood work. I fell for that Kim Kardashian way before the sex tape. But she even had a sex tape. You got me. Then Kim brought in her entire family. They love the camera.

One great ep. was Kim worried that they were going to talk about her sex tape on Tyra Banks. What else are they going to talk about? Burma? Oh, right... This is real...

Now they want me to care about this woman from a very low rated prime time soap who can't even afford a wee-wee pad? I got my hands full with Britney, Lindsay and various baby bumps.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Match Game complete

From Media Week:
TBS has shot a pilot for a potential new version of classic game show The Match Game with celebrity guests Norm MacDonald, Sarah Silverman, Super Dave Osbourne, The Office co-star Rashida Jones, Reno 911's Niecy Nash, and Scott Thompson from Kids in the Hall.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Anne Hathaway is Single - What does that mean for you?

Nothing. E! News and local news casts felt it important to tell the world.
Don't get me wrong - she's super hot - but except for my fantasy baseball type roster of future girlfriends - the news of her doomed relationship means nothing to nobody besides people who know the couple. "Oh, now there might not be a plus one. I better check Evite." "Let me order one extra Christmas card since I can't send it to them jointly. Entertainment news should be more about the business of entertainment. leave the gossip to the gossips. Unless you have a nipple slip.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Match Game update

Funny man Andy Daly will be the host of the show. He's always very funny. It looks like after a break out role in "Semi Pro" this is the year of Andy.

Quick before our 15 minutes are up

The American Idol Live tour is going across the country in record speed. In two and Half months they are doing over 50 shows. "Quick, before you go back to school and forget who we are tour." In fairness, some need to get back to the studio, school and/or Chilli's.

Celebs announced for "Match Game"

BloggerBuzz fills in two of the blanks by reporting that Sarah Silverman and Norm McDonald will be two of the panelist on the remake of "Match Game." No host has been announced. Sorry Jimmy Pardo! I guess there's still hope.
Pardo set up an online petition to get him to be a host. If you want to be a host of a show, get an agent to call a person. Maybe it will work. We still don't know. No host has been announced.
At least real and funny people have been cast. Not the usual suspects of professional celebrities. You know, Carnie Wilson, two out of three Brady boys, Steven Baldwin, Omarosa...
I would book Mo'nique. She would be great. Yes, I said it! I like Mo'nique! Well who would you pick?

Here's a funny page of celebs smoking on the Match Game.

Monday, June 16, 2008

This is why people sell out

This was supposed to be a video of a beautiful house that was used in the TV show "Entourage." But the video doesn't work here or on their website. Instead of taking it down I just wanted to point out this is a video you can't see of a house "witha great view." because it's broken from a company called "Reality that works." Hopefully it will come back up.

1753 Viewmont Dr, Los Angeles HD from Realty That Works on Vimeo.

America gives "Hulk" and M. Night one more chance

Like a drunken uncle who swears he'll "never do it again," movie goers let "The Incredible Hulk" and "The Happening" back to their figurative Thanksgiving Day tables. The films took in $56 and $30 million irrespectively this weekend.

"I swore after "The Village" that M. Night was dead to me," said Ms. Tidwalters of Queens, NY, "But he promised that "The Lady in the Lake" would be different, that he changed."
After spending her last $11.50 on the "Lake" he funds funds were dried up.
"He had that actor from 'Sideways,' it wasn't supposed to go this way..."

Her husband threaten to leave her if she went back to what's "Happening."
"I just couldn't see her in pain again. That guy has let her down each time and I'm the one stuck here picking her off the floor."

Thankfully at the end of the day, Mr. Tidwalters is a nurturer (mother issues) and can't leave his wife.

The Hulk story did not turn out so happy.
"Fool me once, shame on you," stated a disappointed fan, "Fool me twice, shame on Marvel."

Sunday, June 08, 2008

MaterCard Gets With the Times

In an obvious move to attract younger customers, Master Card is using M. Bill as a new spokesman for their credit card. Nothing says, "up with the trends" like dusting off a gem like this one. Was Artie Johnson not available? Sock it to me!

Wasn't Mr. Bill only funny b/c you were either high or 5 years old? I need an idea that keeps on giving!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Hillary Clinton Not Done Yet!

Although Senator Clinton is supposed to give some sort of concession speech on Friday - that does not mean her presidential plans are permanently paused. The group of fans that got CBS to bring "Jericho" back for a second season have been hired to get Hillary back in the race.

If you remember they sent peanuts to CBS until they gave in and gave the show 7 more tries to get ratings. The show died on the vine, but the fans persisted.

Now these hyper mind changers have hatched a plan. they are sending thousands of pants suits to the Democratic Party headquarters.

We hope Senator Clinton does better than the TV show did.

Can Oxygen get their money back?

A Keen eye in Burbank watched a sky writer as he wrote "Tori and Dane." Did he/she mean "Tori and Dean" the title of the Tori Spelling reality show? Unless Spelling is now with comedian Cook.

Entertainment Weekly takes a stand

EW picks who they think are the next A-list movie stars adn they don't care who they offend! take a stand Ew!
The new issue of "Entertainment Weekly" has gone out on a limb, taking a stand and doesn't care who disagrees with them. They are taking their fate into their own hand and possibly alienating publicists by picking what they call, "The New A-List."

They have chosen such controversial choices for the next big movie stars as the Dwayne Johnson (He should never have left the WWE!), Robert Downey Jr. (remember? From Ali McBeal?) and from FOX's "Undeclared" Seth Rogen.

They also point out young unknowns like Anne Hathaway, Ellen Page and Michael Cera and "Even Stevens" star Shia LaBeof.

Ew, continues to challenge Hollywood with their picks for teh Emmys. It starts off pretty edgy. They have the nerve to pick Alec Baldwin (won a Golden Globe last year), the guy who played Fraser, James Spader (who won for this role at least twice and once beat out Tony Soprano) and the guy who played Captain Kurtis Blow from that old forgotten show "Star Trekkers" or something.

Shatner has won the Emmy twice before, both times for the same character. That does not mean anyone would vote for him again?

Monday, June 02, 2008

Men left home to starve as wives go to the movies!

"Sex and the City" proved that if yo give women a movie for them that they would want to see, they would see it. Fuckin' shocker. CNN radio's headline was "Girl Power." These ain't girls. They woman folk.

Yes, if you give woman a good movie, they will go and see it. Hard to believe but true. So will men. Not jus tthe ones dragged by their ladies.

People are belittling the numbers, but it is what it is. Great. It did almost three times better than "What Happens in Vegas," the big star vehicle. Better than Narnia II or "Forgetting Sarah Marshal on their opening weekends. In fact "City" made in one weekend almost as much as "Marshall's" did in seven weeks.

Oh, hey expert talking heads, if you are going to go on the TV and talk about this phenom; it's called "Sex and the City" not "Sex in the City."

Do this mean Hollywood will copy it by making more films for women or more movies from HBO series?
I say, wait for "Mind of the Married Man: The Movie."

Today show goes to the streets

You know it's hard times when the Today show is teaching housewives how to pawn their tennis bracelets.
Pawning for quick cash
Pawning for quick cash

Towards the end of the segment, the Pawn Yenta is using some tough street talk.

Tomorrow on Today, they take you in the world of shooting craps. "Is it a waste of time or can you really double your grocery money?"

Parking meters, eye sore or cash cow?

Naive News: Tatum O'Neil was doing research

This weekend actress Tatum O'Neil was arrested for buying crack. But she told the police officer on the scene that she was doing research for a role. There you go. IMDB must have forgotten to put that role on the website. Oh, well.

Then they found a crack pipe in her purse. Well, she told them that it was her first slip up and then asked to let her go. They didn't! It was her first slip up, people!

It reminds me of the time I caught that kid holding coke for a friend, in his nose. What a good kid.