Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Court TV will produce its first original scripted series, and has ordered a pilot from theatrical film producer John Waters called 'Til Death Do Us Part (produced by KaBoo Prods). The show is a dramatization of real cases of spousal murder, according to Hollywood Reporter. Each episode begins at the doomed couple's wedding, where Waters himself plays the role of the Groom Reaper, setting the scene for the viewer (a la Rod Serling in Twilight Zone). Assuming all goes to plan, Court TV expects to order 12 episodes, and begin airing after the first of the year.

Isn't it great when you can take someone's true murder and make it campy fun?!?!?!

Why do people keep giving John Waters money to do anything? He did one commercial hit film 25 years ago.

people: stop giving him and Eric Schaffer money for movies or shows. And Kevin Smith for that matter. But KS makes money and for some reason the kids love him. Like he's Woody Allen (70's and early 80's Allen not creepy post "husband and Wives" married his daughter Allen.)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

OK NBC!There's a movie star in your show. We get it.

NBC has been banging the drum loudly to anyone who'd hear it that movie star STEVE CARELL stars in THE OFFICE (Tuesdays 9:30 after the baffling My name is Earl).

In the ads for the 40 Year old Virgin they'd plug his TV show. After the movie became #1, NBC went nuts reminding people that he's on their network too. We get it.

But I still ain't watching that boring show. I like dry, slow humor. I don't need to be knocked in the head to laugh, but I find this show boring. Plus I can't watch it for moral reasons. I refuse to watch any scripted show that has characters doing confessionals like it's MTV Real World. It's lazy writing. Reality shows need it in case they don't have the footage and no time to doctor it.

I can barely stand narration. I hate confessionals in reality shows because most of the time they tell you what you just saw. What are you confessing? I saw it!

I digress. The Office is still not funny. And yes Steve Carell was great in the 40YOV. But that still doesn't mean I want to watch that boring show. PLUS! America agrees with me. The ratings aren't that great. the lead in "My name is Earl" is pulling some numbers but people aren't sticking around for free Steve.

Basically American is saying, "I'll get in my car and pay $10 to see Steve Carell in some movie with a weak premise and enjoy it, but watching 'The Office,' which comes on right after a show I watch anyway, is just too much to ask.

Despite low ratings, NBC picked up the show for the rest of the year.

I can't help but assume that Carell and his agents are dying for the show to end so he can take more films.

Maybe NBC doesn't want to be accused of pulling a Tom Hanks. Networks have cancelled shows just before an actor from that show broke out into a movie star.


Tom Hanks was in "Bosom Buddies" which was cancelled just before "Splash!" and "Bachelor Party." They made up for it by pushing the reruns.

Same with the Wayans Bros. That show was cancelled just before mega hit "Scary Movie." The WB network was forced to plug the reruns too.

"The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" ran it's course and most likely was ready to end, just before we entered the Willenium.

NBC went out of their way to avoid that situation when the co star of "Mad About You" and almost movie star Helen Hunt was up for an Oscar. The day of the big awards, the network and her people were mad about money for the next season. She got $1 million an episode and since Paul Reiser's contract had them at equal rates, he too got $1 million. $2 Million to start for a show that was losing steam. The ratings that year were terrible.

So crow all you want NBC, I ain't buying.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Wheaton beats Alba; again.

In a strange twist of fate, former "Angel" Alba gets knocked out by a bunch of space pirates for the second time.

Years ago Jessica Alba was the star of "Dark Angel" a show that started with promise, but ended in a wimper. With crappy ratings and a diva star, FOX was on the fence about renewing. Finally they decided to replace the show with something from the creator of "Buffy."

That show was "Firefly" a show about a bunch of space pirates and Ron Glass' afro. The show was quickly cancelled due to low ratings and good writing.

Writing so good in fact, that fans of the show multiplied after it's death and DVDs were (fire)flying off the shelves. So Joss Wheaton, creator, decided to take it one step further than just going back on the air like "Family Guy" he went full out and made a movie.

After Dark Angel, Jessica took a slow rise to movie star. With a couple of bumps (Honey and well, Honey) she hit it big as 1/4th of the Fantastic Four.

"I showed them," she must have said to her assistant while sitting at her pool and reading through panphlets on Kabala and other religions courting her since her "A list" status, "Those Fireflies can kiss my $4 million a movie ass.* That show is history and I have a film career." Then she asked her assistant if she had read amy good books lately. "Does Us magazine count?" Luckily for the assistant, in LA it does. In fact My book group is reading this week's Star. I have to have it done by Thursday. What a drag. If anyone knows the highlights, please tell me.

Today, Jessica Alba is the "it" girl and in the new movie about something or other, "Into the Blue." This movie comes out the same weekend as "Serenity" the "Firefly" movie. Who wins? Ron Glass' 'fro.

Serenity came in second in box office molla and Alba's film just "Blue."

1. Flightplan - $15 million. (No one warns their friends about bad movies?)

2. Serenity - $10.1 million.

3. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride - $9.8 million.

4. A History of Violence - $8.2 million. (I saw this last week. I'm still not sure if it was good. Crazy sex scenes and over the top violence held together with an unbelievable plot.)

5. Into the Blue - $7 million.

I wonder if Serenity 2: The Wrath of Wojo will open the same weekend of her next action film. Or maybe her obligatory rehab movie. Or her movie about fun loving sisters.

(* I have no idea how much she makes.)