Monday, February 28, 2005

Oscar recap

Chris rock was great. He was funny and a little mean. You have to expect some of that. You don't hire Chris Rock and expect him to sing and dance.

His material about Bush fucking up and still keeping his job was dead on and is why Rock is one of the best comics out there.

Robin Williams should fuck himself. 20 minutes after Rock's very rehearsed monologue, William's decides to blast us with his old material. I think it was in bad form for him to do stand up after the host did. It made him look like he was grabbing onto something.

Rock had 12 writers and a couple of months of going on stage to get his opening straight. Williams took bits he's been doing since the Reagan administration and rehashed them.

Why was Beyoncee singing all the songs? Did 8 people cancel? Can no one else sing? She's great and all, but having her do 3 out of 5 songs was a bit much.

Antonio Banderas needs a shower and some singing lessons. He was making me beg for Marc Anthony.

It's the Oscars, it shouldn't be hard to book A-list singers besides the stand out from Destiny's Child. It's official, Bouncy Knowls is carrying that band. She's the David Lee Roth, before the break down.

I hope this doesn't mean I have to read about her in the paper every day like Britney or Paris or Iraq.

Carlos Santana needs a better agent. The guy is a living legend.

Julia Roberts was able to make this show about her, again. She lingered on stage. When Clint won, she kissed him and then before he could give his speech, she went back and cleaned off the little bit of lipstick that was there. Hew as fine. We get it, you're lovable, now let the guy talk.

All the people who won, should have. No upsets, no surprises. Sideways was never going to get best picture. The screen play award was typical and enough.

It would have been nice for Virginia Madsen to win, but it was steep Compton.

Next year's host? Shucky Ducky.
All That Razz

Once again, Media Yenta's Post-Awards Analysis of "Worst
Picture" Razzies

Congrats goes to Catwoman, George W., and the Razzie Awards itself, which celebrates its 25th anniversary with a companion book. Honorary "Our First 25 YEARS" awards went to From Justin To Kelly (Worst Musical), Gigli (Worst Comedy), and Battlefield Earth (Worst Drama). I'm happy to see more recently released pictures acknowledged as
the new classics of mind-numbing drek.

And this year's awards go to: Fahrenheit 9/11
Winners: George W. Bush (Worst Actor), Donald Rumsfeld (Worst Supporting Actor), Britney Spears (Worst Supporting Actress), and President Bush with My Pet Goat or Condoleeza Rice (Worst Screen Couple) What We Said: Please, God, give it to Ben Stiller.

What We Say Now: While politicians make great fodder when visiting Pop Culture Land ("Sock it to me?" Nixon asked on Laugh-In), I feel the Razzie academy unjustly snubbed Stiller, the Olsen Twins, and Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2's Jon Voight.

And the awards go to: Catwoman
Winner: Worst Picture, Actress, Screenplay, and Director.
What We Said: We liked Scooby Doo 2.
What We Say Now: It's another bad self-conscious Warner Brothers film loosely based on one of their franchises, like Scooby Doo 2 (named Worst Sequel), Gremlins 2 and Space Jam. Will Batman Begins be next? Only time will tell.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Shelved Life

As if this Saturday's announcement of the Razzies Worst Movie of 2004 isn't enough for bad-movie fans, today's IMdb drops a bombshell:

Bob Weinstein and Harvey Weinstein will be leaving Miramax Films with a flourish, releasing as many as 22 movies during the next seven months, including some troubled films that had been shelved or postponed, the New York Times reported today (Wednesday), citing unnamed executives at the studio. The strategy was described by one Miramax executive as an effort to "clean the pipeline" before new managers take over. The Times suggested that some of the films may not be released theatrically but instead will go straight to cable and/or DVD. One such film is Prozac Nation, starring Christina Ricci, which has been shelved for more than four years.

Dude, this is bad-movie manna from the heavens. Miramax has the best catalog of terrible, horrible, unwatchable movies. Many "sit on the shelves" until they have to be released, like the recent Anna Paquin scare-fest Darkness. Billy Bob Thornton is the poster boy for delayed Miramax releases. He starred in the shelf-warmer Waking Up in Reno, as well as Daddy and Them, which he also wrote and directed. Miramax kept bumping the release date of Nightwatch (Ole Bornedal's American remake of his Danish movie, Nattevagten). Despite an amazing performance from Nick Nolte, Nightwatch's butchered editing makes it hard to watch (plus that Saw-esque ending, oy vey).

Other delayed Miramax stinkers (in alphabetical order): Chump Change, Diamonds, Duplex, My Name Is Modesty: A Modesty Blaise Adventure, and View from the Top.

Is there one good film that Miramax held and quietly released on video? My vote goes to Buffalo Soldiers, a very cynical US military black comedy, which was held back post- 9/11. It's unwatchable, only because the satire cuts too close to the bone.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Over Before It Started

Spurred on by last year's Super Bowl, many people have complained about this year's Oscars show, even though the event won't air until February 27th. IMdb had
reported Rush Limbaugh upset with the ending to Best Picture nominee Million Dollar Baby. Why the conservative radio host has issues with the former Republican mayor of Carmel freaking California doesn't worry me, I'm just surprised anyone can make it to the end of a Clint Eastwood-directed movie. I watched Matt Drudge in a "rare" interview
on FoxNews' Hannity and Colmes, where the seminal webhead was upset with Oscar host Chris Rock's comment, reported in the 2/4/05 issue of MediaYenta's favorite magazine, Entertainment Weekly.

Here's the quote: "Come on, it's a fashion show. No one performs; it's not like a music show. What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars?" Shame there wasn't another guest on the program, like say a straight black man, to let Drudge know it was a joke. Rock, according to Drudge, wasn't enough of "a class act" to host the Oscars. He was classy enough to host the MTV awards at NYC's Metropolitan freaking Opera House, so give me a break. Seems like the Oscars like to have a risky host once every ten years (Letterman hosted in 1995).

That said, I would like to join the preshow haters with my own complaint. Hey, Acamedy, don't let Martin Scorsese win. You could have given him the Best
Director Oscar in '81 (for Raging Bull), '89 (The Last Temptation of Christ), '91 (GoodFellas), or '03 (Gangs of New York). But you didn't. Heck, when Kevin Costner
and Dances With Wolves beat GoodFellas, I felt the show Jumped The Shark. Please don't give him the award for The Aviator just to make up for your previous mistakes.

Monday, February 14, 2005


From Cynthia Turner's Cynopsis:

Lifetime Tv has this show in development,
"Thicker than Water is also a comedy from exec prod Carol Leifer, a semi-autobiographical project about a single TV writer living in LA trying to get a job after a wildly successful series (Seinfeld), pitching ideas to exec produces several years her junior. "

This is a show? How lazy was that? No wonder she couldn't sell a show after Sienfeld. With ideas that obvious, who cares? Yes as a writer they tell you to "Write what you know," but they tell you to "Be creative" too.

The show feels too inside as they say. Do women care if she sells the TV show?

Part of the show's pitch is that she has to pitch the ideas to TV execs who are younger than her, ie. "They don't get it." How uncomfortable that muct has been?

"The execs are dumb. tehy don't get it. Unlike you guys, who are young...but..."

I'm going to sell a show about a guy who forgot to set his alarm this morning and is now late for work.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

David Cross Almost cries

David "Don't call me 'Dave'" Cross was almost in tears as he announced the cancellation of his great sitcom "Arrested Development." He was the lead guest on the press resistant "Jimmy Kimmel Live." The Pope can announce that he's gay on Kimmel and no one will report it.

Canceling a very funny show like "Arrested Development?" That's criminal. And when I say funny, I mean really funny, not "I heard that 'Sports Night' doesn't have a laugh track and they talk real fast - but new do anything funny" funny.

I love this show. It's funny, strange and always worth watching.

It was created by Ron Howard because he felt TV comedies were changing and he wanted to be on forefront. Boy was he wrong.

The show about 8 (or so --I'm too lazy to count) distinctive funny characters that torture the straight man Jason "It's Your Move" Bateman is vastly more original than it's replacement.

Starting in May, "American Dad" will step into the post Simpsons spot. An animated show about a clueless dad, his housewife wife and their kids. It’s made by the people who do "Family Guy." The animation, plot, humor and characters are very similar.

On FG the dad is dumb and not successful. On AD he's successful and dumb. American dad is a copy of Family Guy whish is a copy of the Simpsons.

Sunday night on FOX now has 4 shows that are animated and that center on dopey fathers of great families with housewives.

King of the Hill- hank is good natured but clueless. Peg teaches piano lessons on the side and their son is dumb and the niece is hot.

Simpsons - Homer is well...Homer. Marge doesn't work. Son is a monster - loser. Daughter is smart and there's a baby to keep the wife busy.

Family Guy (see Simpsons) Dumb father, housewife, loser son, smart daughter, baby (who talks!)

American Dad - (See family guy minus the baby.)

The Munsters - Husband dumb - wife too hot for him. Son is a dope. Hot niece who's above it all. Plus Grandpa and a thing that lives under the stairs.

Honorable mention:
King of Queens, Still Standing, Listen up, According to Jim, My Wife and Kids, Rodney, George Lopez and others.

Fuck Network TV. I'll go watch a make over show on cable!