Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Men Starve as "Captain Marvel" Reaches $800 Million

Captain Marvel Men across the country are sitting at their table with no dinner because their wives have decided to go to the movies.

This obvious threat to the American decency is nonother than the self-titled Marvel movie Captain Marvel. By putting a woman in the lead, the comic book company has hatched an evil plan to lore wives and mothers to the theater while their husbands starve and their children go to school without their hair being brushed properly.

One child was quoted as saying, "I got a celery sandwich, a rotten apple and a green sock for lunch today. Mom, please come home.

Experts weigh in on this issue and offer this piece of advice, "Don't be afraid to use brides to bring your woman home from enjoying herself at the theater so they can cook and clean."
One bribe they don't recommend,  coupon books for hugs. "This problem is deeper than that."

This is not the first time this web blog has made this observation.  This is a bigger problem than we expected!