Thursday, July 31, 2003

Deja Viewings

Imdb reported Paramount executives blamed Eidos'
videogame Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life
for the movie's poor b.o. Deja vu? Sure, videogame
company Activision recently sued Paramount, blaming
the poor b.o. of Star Trek: Nemesis for
tarnishing their line of Star Trek games.

Fall is in the air and Whoopi's new sit-com promos
are everywhere. The Whoopster works in a hotel.
Deja vu? Sure, since it sounds like her 1990 sit-com
Baghdad Cafe, where she worked in a hotel with
Jean Stapleton (and yes, deja vu fans, that was
based on the '88 movie).

F/X just cancelled my favorite new show, Lucky.
So, in honor of Lucky, I'm going to gratuitously
use the word "shit." Shit.

- Media Yenta's Brother

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

VH1 has thrown in the towel. After years of being MTV's older-not-as-good-looking brother, they are changing their format. If you've seen the station over the last two years, you'd notice that lots of strange shows were poppin' up. Left over Paramount movies from the 80's like Top Gun and Cocktail were part of their "movies that Rock." They even started re-airing shows like NBC's "Re-run Show" and a low budget caught on tape show hosted by a former Baywatch Babe.

Now it's official. VH1 is going to be a station not about music, but pop culture. Anything-pop culture. I know what you are thinking, "Isn't TV pop culture? Thereby anything on TV is instantly pop culture?"

Part of their big plan is to re-run syndicated programing. So if you missed your favorite Ricki! episode, you can catch it the next daaay. GO RICKI!
This can only mean one thing: In two years, VH1 will change again. Check this out;
Here's the progression of TNN:

TNN- The Nashville Network, country station
TNN- The National Network, "Anything POP." I don't know what that means either.
TNN- the New TNN, Anything to with pop culture. (Is that different than POP?)
SpikeTV/The very new TNN- The First network for Men.

Now check out the transformation of FX.

fX - TV made fresh, daily. Wacky mostly live channel from a large apartment in NYC. Had a late night show with Orlando Jones called SoundfX at 11 pm.
FX- Fox on Cable. They aired the successful reruns of NYPD Blue and X-Files.
FX The channel for Men. They had the terrible male version of the View called the X-show. It ran nightly and was a piece of shit.
FX- Once they got The Shield, they dropped their development staff that brought them the Shield and became a commercial version of HBO.

What's next for our little station that could? Who knows? But I do know their new slogan.

VH1 - If you don't like the format, just wait a week.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

For the Love of GOD!

Can we get some Black people on Reality shows? Big Brother 4 has a cast of the whitest losers you've ever seen. Watch what happens, it gets boring and no one watches. I love the people who make the show, I wish they'd just put a bunch of Black people on. More than one male one female.

Once again, everyone is real young except for one older male father type. Every year, since Chicken John was a break out star in the first try at the show, they've put in one older guy.

In the first Survivor, there were older people and non-beautiful people. The show was a huge hit. So what do they do for the next season? That's right, hot chicks and studs.
But didn't the first hit season prove that we don't need superficial beauty and youth to get viewers, then why add that element?

It's TV, Jake. It's TV.

That's not an answer, but you using a famous line and fucking with it.

Thursday, July 03, 2003

Orlando Jones Show --DOA

Recently FX launched its late night talk show starring Orlando Jones. You know that comic actor who was in lots of forgettable, ridiculous movies. Well he's has a late night show, right on the 24/7 FX that seems to only have three original shows and endless M*A*S*H reruns.

Apparently, if Orlando Jones does any kind of ratings, FOX will bring the show over to the network.

First of all, why do we need another chat show? Why does every new show have to re-invent late night talk? Just do a late night show, or don't.

Orlando said in an Entertainment Weakling article that I saved since early June;

"No white guys, no desk, no band." No deference, who cares? If you can't afford any of those things, then it's fine.

He went on to say, " There's always a bit where they so the monologue, and they pause, and they laugh at their own joke and they pause again. And the monologue has maybe 3 minutes of comic material but it takes them to do it." (I wish I knew how to use my scanner. I wouldn't have to type so much.)

I don't get it. The other hosts take too much time being funny? Is Orlando going to save time but not being funny? And anyway, in all fairness, Caroline Rhea has been laughing at her own act since 1987.

Now OJ talks about something stupid and not funny instead of a monologue and then brings the guest out, asks one question and goes to commercial.

First of all, if you want to save time, don't have anything upfront at all and go right to the guest.

First the announcer says who going to be on the show and gives a lingering intro to Orlando (29 seconds).
Then the audience stands and goes crazy like their lives depended on it (5 seconds).
Then OJ intro's his music supervisor and his DJ. They are two different people. Why does a show with no band needs a supervisor?
The audience slaps crazy for them (4 seconds) and then the music supervisor talks about how the DJ is dope and blessed and hype and too dope for words and the DJ gets coy and blushes (36 seconds).
Then OJ talks about how blessed he is to have tonight's guest and how great the musical performer is even though you never heard of this guy who available. Didn't the announcer just tell us who was on the show? (45 seconds)
Then the clip and the guest.

Thanks for saving me 5 minutes of time by not being funny.

OJ hit my favorite note for talk show hosts on his first night. He told his guest that he was blessed. I love when hosts say that. It means the host has nothing else to say and they are stalling. T went something like this;
OJ: "You are blessed." Audience goes nuts.
Adrian Brody: “No you are. You have a show with your name on it." Audience goes nuts. OJ can't argue with good plain kiss ass logic and agrees with the Oscar winner that he too is blessed.

And why is the audience clapping/ No one is about to tell them that they are blessed.
OJ also says "no doubt" in response to the guest’s statement. Nothing kills a conversation like a conversation stopper like "No doubt," "Ok," or "Ok, no doubt."

The show is fine enough. OJ is so relaxed on his set, you think he's about to fall asleep before you do.

But here's what will hurt the show. FX is only showing 3 new episodes a week and show reruns on Thursday and Friday. Comedy Central does that with "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and too much Hype." But CC tells the audience that the show is on Mon - Thursday. They also do that with the very funny stand out show, "Tough Crowd with Collin Quinn who mumbles."

I think the audience will see a promo on Wednesday for a show that they just saw on Monday and get discouraged and stop watching because it feels like there's always a re-run. And the show is going on a 2 week vacation after only being on the air for a month and only showing 3 shows a week.

Here's what they should've done...I'm not saying, I'm just saying...
Premiered the show on Wednesday instead of Monday. Air all original episodes in the first week. Then on Thursday of the second week, air the very first show again. This keeps you one week ahead of yourself.

“But they need to sell ad time for the entire first week. They need to make money.”

Then they should've make 5 for the first week and three for the rest.

“It’s always a re-run.” Watch, people will get bored with his show before he does.

PS. Have you ever noticed that when you go to watch a show that you've only seen once before, it's the same episode as the only other episode you've seen? (Pause, laugh, pause)

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Man turns in $1,700 found under hedges, doesn't want a reward
The police department called a press conference to announce that Paul Wilson turned in the money he found. "I didn't know this was going to be such a big deal," says Wilson, a gardener. "There was really nothing to think about. It wasn't mine and I could imagine how (the bag's owner) must feel." (Palm Beach Post)

The shocking part for me isn't that someone returned it and didn't want a reward. It's; who walks around with $1,700 in a paper bag? And when do you realize you just lost the most important thing you are holding?