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10 Lies we tell each other in LA to survive.

We have basketball team called the “Lakers” – but no lakes.
The “LA River” has no water running through it.
We call actual traffic jams, “Sig Alerts.” It’s not an “alert” if it’s actually happening.

Hollywood is a hard town. So we have to tell each other little lies so we don't go crazy and move to a place with realistic housing prices and actual jobs.

I present to you - Phrases translated to English from “Hollywood Speak.”

“Your meeting is at 11 AM.” = “Come at 11, my assistant will get you a bottle of water and you can sit there until noon.”

"We will think about it and get back to you." = “We will not and we won’t. Use that door.” 

“It’s a web show” = “No pay.”

“I’m just out there pitching shows.” = “I’m not working.”

“We’ll keep your resume on file.” = “You didn’t see the door? I just alluded to it.”

"I'm not suggesting this, I'm just letting you know it’s an option."  = “Do this. If I’m right, I get the credit. If I’m wrong, I’m able to blame you.”

Recent posts

Star Wars Life Day Special gets a Redo

Life Day is going to be celebrated again! The infamous Holiday special that aired on ABC, "The Star Wars Holiday Special" is about to get a remake. Disney has decided to remake the TV show that's been a blight on Star Wars legacy.

"There's so much interest in a new special. One that's done right can play in a family's living room for Christmases for years and years to come.  Sid and Marty Cross are rumored to come out of retirement to cash in.

Men Starve as Wives Go "Girls Trip"

This country is facing a famine crisis. All over the nation men are left home to fend for themselves while the women are out four at a time watching the new movie, "Girls Trip."

"My wife came home saying, 'I'm a Jada,'" recalled one neglected husband, "I said, 'Is that the one who can cook? Because I'm hungry."

It's ironic that the main characters in the film call themselves the "Flossy Posse," said a frail man who hadn't eaten in 7 hours, "I wish I could floss. It's a waste of time."

Part time lawyer, Gary Alright said in his
lawsuit again the movie theater, "This is also discrimination. It's called 'Girl's Trip.' What about a movie for men. Like one where 3 or 4 men go to some place like Las Vegas? People would go nuts."

Because of the success of "Girls Trip," men are prepping themselves for the inevitable, a sequel!

Watching TV on the internet makes you smarter than people who watch TV on a TV

Studies show that if you watch TV shows on the internet and not on TV, you look smarter. "I love 'Two and a Half Men' reruns" will make you look like a neanderthal.

But if you say, "I Bit Torrent the 'Big Bang Theory.'" or "I caught 'Murphy Brown' on CBS All Access" you'll look smart. It's the new way of saying "I don't watch TV," when you clearly do. It's TV. You mean to tell me everyone on earth are hypnotized by the blue light of the TV, but you?

Remember when you could say "I don't watch TV, except for Jon Stewart?" Now that he's off the air, what's a pseudo intellectual to do?
Well you might be back in luck.

Emmy nominations predictions 2016: Pete Hammond (Deadline) & Tom O'Neil ...

Did SVU do a racist episode about tolerance?

Tonight's Law & Order:SVU, "Transgender Bridge" (my DVR called it "Transgender Bride"), was about a hate crime against a transgender teen. While it's great the show is addressing this hot button issue, they used old and racist tropes. Count them.


The transgender victim was a white, lived in a large, bright home with two very supportive parents. The perp is an African American teen who lives in a small apartment and has to make a hot pocket for his little sister because his single mother was "working a double."

The teen perp was in the park with his two friends and his sister. They were counting the money they made dancing, when they see the transgender girl. She was taking pictures. The teens harassed her while tons of African American teens egged them on and filmed it. One African American teen accidentally pushed the transgender teen off the bridge.

All the African American teens scatter. The only two people who stayed around, according to t…