10 Lies we tell each other in LA to survive

We have a basketball team called the “Lakers” – but no lakes.
The “LA River” has no water running through it.
We call actual traffic jams, “Sig-Alerts.” It’s not an “alert” if it’s actually happening.

Hollywood is a hard town. So we have to tell each other little lies so we don't go crazy and move to a place with realistic housing prices and actual jobs.

I present to you - 

How to decode  Lies We Tell Each Other in LA to Survive 

1. “Your meeting is at 11 AM.” = “Come at 11, get you a bottle of water and sit until noon.”
2. "We will think about it and get back to you." = “We will not and we won’t. Use that door.” 
3. “It’s a web show” = “No pay.”
4. “I’m just out there pitching shows.” = “I’m not working.”
5. “We’ll keep your resume on file.” = “You didn’t see the door? I just alluded to it.”
6. "I'm not suggesting this, I'm just letting you know it’s an option."  = “Do this. If I’m right, I get the credit. If I’m wrong, I’m able to blame you.”
7. "Yes." = “No”  
8. “I need a ninja/rock star PA.” = You’ll be doing Producer work at a PA rate.
9. "I love you." = "I know both your first and last name."
10. “Do you need parking validation?” = “Do you need parking validation?”