Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Stay Classy A&E

I'm watching their show about late night talk shows when they show the second tower being hit. "Why would they show that?" I thought. "I get you are going to address late night after 9/11 but why do I have to watch this footage again? This is the worst moment in our history. Why are you showing this on a doc about Leno vs. Letterman?
Then they put up Bill Maher unfortunate quote...the one about the cowards...It shocked me to hear that when he said it...sure...but to put the quote over a picture of the tragedy just made it a lot worse. Kind if unfair, don't you think?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Avatar biggest selling DVD ever: thanks to Brian Glick

Avatar sells 6.7 million units. Marketing executive Brian Glick lead the team to success. In a memo leaked to our site from Mr. Glick sites the contributions of the marketing genius. 

the memo dated January 5, 2010 read - "Putting 'Avatar' on DVD would be a great idea. I really think people will buy it. There seems to be a demand for it."

The memo also has some useful tips that Mr. Glick points out helped in the record breaking weekend. 
"We should advertise. A lot. TV, radio, in store displays, even the internet."

Mr. Glick was more than available for comment, we just didn't know what to ask him. 

Update: Brian Glick found another email where he told the studio that they should work with James Cameron even though he hadn't made a movie in over 10 years. 

Update: Brian Glick will be made VP of Marketing overseeing all the upcoming summer releases.

Update: Liam Fisher is stepping down as VP of Marketing overseeing all the upcoming summer releases to spend more tiem with his screen play.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Worst movie of the Decade?

An interview with the writer of Battlefield Earth... Pretty blunt.
Two writers - one blames the other. Check it out here.

The Razzies named it the worst movie of the decade. But they make choices sometimes based on who will show up to accept. The screenwriters accepted the award.
The worst movie of the decade? I would say "The Room." as for big studio films - "Gigli." But BFE is pretty bad.

Friday, April 16, 2010

happy birthday Dan

The future of comedy just got a little older! Keep the videos coming.

first it was exhaustion, now it's coffee

Last week Ryan Seacrest shocked the world when he acted the fool on "American Idol." He was giving people silly intros and even made a joke about his former on-air co-host that he's been rumored to have had kicked off. Why did he behave this way? Well, it was first blamed on...too much coffee. Finally the whole ordeal was chalked up to playfulness. What a card! (Queen of Diamonds, HA I just LOL'ed on myself!)

Two weeks ago while driving to an ill-fated pitch meeting, the radio announcer said that Foo Fighters Front  figure overdosed. On what? Caffeine. He had too much coffee and that was the root of his bizarre actions.

I don't know why those guys did what they did and who cares? (Is that enough legal mumbo jumbo? Can I move on now?)

In the past, bizarre celeb behavior would be blamed on "exhaustion." Or additions would be to "pain pills" not cocaine.

Saying someone acted outrageous because they had too much coffee just sounds like a lie. Do you know anyone else who said tons of embarrassing things, insulted people, broke stuff etc. because they didn't know a "venti" was bigger than a "grande?" Is Ryan Seacrest the first person in history to insult someone on air because of caffeine? I think you get the point.

Also, it's a bad idea to plant the idea in someone's head that their client had "too much" of anything.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

here's a terrible job

Basically they want you to write, shoot and edit "viral videos" for them. A video is only viral if it because very popular. You cannot just produce a popular video, just like you can't just sing a hit song or write a blockbuster film.

what a great business plan - we have people make us hit videos for free. then we take all the credit. What are you thinking? that magic elves are going to come out in the middle of the night, cobble your shoes, video tape it and get it on Web Soup?

I love that they plan to then get the videos on "funny or die and similar sites" - you mean other sites that you can get stuff on for free? You have a deal with youtube? You know who else has a deal with youtube and funny or die? Everyone.

If you are applying for this job, please consider working for me. Here's my ad - "Be the next Writer needed to write snarky blog that will get tons of hits and make us some google ad bucks. must know how to write, spell, publish and promote. already having an ip address would help. Also light to heavy house cleaning. Some pay - you pay us."

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Ricky Martin & Sean Hayes win Major Kudos

Gay rights groups announced their big award winners this year. Recently singer Ricky Martin and actor Sean Hayes came out of the closet earning the respect of their fans and a great honor. Tomorrow they will recieve the "Way-to-go-and-come-out-of-the-closet-after-your-career-is-cold-and-during-the-height-when-it-would-have-meant-something-Award" from "Sarcastic Gays of America."

"Way to wait," Christina Max, President of SGA.

Monday, April 05, 2010

25 years later Paper boy still wants his two dollars

Half way into "Hot Tub Time Machine" I realized, "This is a John Cusack 80's comedy." They figured out a way to do a sequel to "Better off Dead" and "Say Anything." What about "Another Crazy Summer" where JC returns, this time with his family in toe and they have to beat the old bully and his family? Just send the checks right to me. 

Other stars from the decade of Reagan and "Where's the Beef" have made a comeback. When studios and stars are desperate for a hit -  they are not afraid to go back in time from characters. Totally, dude. 

Look at the great Bruce Willis - they threw a bunch of money at him to do a fourth "Die Hard." He's older and balder, but still hunting bad guys. They added a young side kick to get the kids in with their parents. (A hacker)

Harrison Ford did a fourth Indiana Jones movie (After the "Last Crusade"). Who knew Indy had to get back in the action? They added a young side kick to get the parents in with the parents. (His long lost bastard son.)

Stalone's movie career was dead in the water.  So he did another Rocky. They added a young side kick to get the kids in with the parents. (A new actor playing his son.)

Crocodile Dundee made a comeback in 2001 after his last appearance in 1988. He brought his son. You know why. 

Now, like the other aging 80's movie stars, John Cusack's movie career was softening. Until his role in "2012" things didn't look too good. 
From IMDB:

  1. Igor (2008) (voice)  
  2. War, Inc. (2008)  
  3. Martian Child (2007)  
  4. 1408 (2007)  
  5. Grace Is Gone (2007)  
  6. The Contract (2006/I)  
  7. The Ice Harvest (2005) 
  8. Must Love Dogs (2005)  
  9. Runaway Jury (2003)  
  10. Identity (2003) 
  11. Max (2002/I) 
Just like his male movie counterparts Cusack had to go back to his well. But he didn't have one tent pole franchise.  He didn't have one character that he was associated with...except for...wait for it...John Cusack's best known character is "John Cusack."  The  80's slacker who's a loner but a cool dude that everyone wants to know. The one guy who hangs out in the 7-11 parking lot that people would want to to "chill out" with.  How do you get the pushing 50 Cusack back in 80's high school? Back on ski slopes? Back in his teen insecurities? Send him through time in a hot tub time machine. 
They added a young side kick to get the kids in with the parents. (Cusack's techno nerd nephew.)  

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Americans wear their Sunday best for "Clash"

Nikki Fink reports that the remake of "Clash of the Titans" made a record $64 million over the Easter weekend. Some thought that releasing a violent movie over a holy weekend would be a big mistake. But studio executives not only knew what they were doing, they planned it.
"It worked for "The Passion of the Christ,'" media analyst Stu Potter told us, "After that super violent movie rocked the box (office) studios rushed violent movies into the pipeline for Easter weekend."

Some might say "Christ" was successful despite the violence and only because of the religious message. "Nope," Mr. Potter states with total confidence, pointing to the outrageous success of a poorly reviewed remake of a shoddily made B-movie from the 80's.
"Next year look to taking the entire family to the 3-D remake of "Caligula."

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Is this the end of New Media?

The New York Times reported on Saturday that the government is cracking down on unpaid internships. The department of labor are afraid that companies are replacing qualified paid workers with unpaid students.
From the NYT article:
“We’ve had cases where unpaid interns really were displacing workers and where they weren’t being supervised in an educational capacity,” said Bob Estabrook, spokesman for Oregon’s labor department. 

 This investigation has send shivers down the spines of new media companies. "How can we produce a full TV show for a website when we have to pay the crew?" Asked Carl "with a 'k'" Boomet from a leading production company and coffee shop. "Free labor is the only way we can meet impossible budgets. Our country was built on the backs of free labor. It worked out for us. If you excuse me, I have to teach an intern how to make Frapacinos."