Sunday, October 02, 2005

Wheaton beats Alba; again.

In a strange twist of fate, former "Angel" Alba gets knocked out by a bunch of space pirates for the second time.

Years ago Jessica Alba was the star of "Dark Angel" a show that started with promise, but ended in a wimper. With crappy ratings and a diva star, FOX was on the fence about renewing. Finally they decided to replace the show with something from the creator of "Buffy."

That show was "Firefly" a show about a bunch of space pirates and Ron Glass' afro. The show was quickly cancelled due to low ratings and good writing.

Writing so good in fact, that fans of the show multiplied after it's death and DVDs were (fire)flying off the shelves. So Joss Wheaton, creator, decided to take it one step further than just going back on the air like "Family Guy" he went full out and made a movie.

After Dark Angel, Jessica took a slow rise to movie star. With a couple of bumps (Honey and well, Honey) she hit it big as 1/4th of the Fantastic Four.

"I showed them," she must have said to her assistant while sitting at her pool and reading through panphlets on Kabala and other religions courting her since her "A list" status, "Those Fireflies can kiss my $4 million a movie ass.* That show is history and I have a film career." Then she asked her assistant if she had read amy good books lately. "Does Us magazine count?" Luckily for the assistant, in LA it does. In fact My book group is reading this week's Star. I have to have it done by Thursday. What a drag. If anyone knows the highlights, please tell me.

Today, Jessica Alba is the "it" girl and in the new movie about something or other, "Into the Blue." This movie comes out the same weekend as "Serenity" the "Firefly" movie. Who wins? Ron Glass' 'fro.

Serenity came in second in box office molla and Alba's film just "Blue."

1. Flightplan - $15 million. (No one warns their friends about bad movies?)

2. Serenity - $10.1 million.

3. Tim Burton's Corpse Bride - $9.8 million.

4. A History of Violence - $8.2 million. (I saw this last week. I'm still not sure if it was good. Crazy sex scenes and over the top violence held together with an unbelievable plot.)

5. Into the Blue - $7 million.

I wonder if Serenity 2: The Wrath of Wojo will open the same weekend of her next action film. Or maybe her obligatory rehab movie. Or her movie about fun loving sisters.

(* I have no idea how much she makes.)


Anonymous said...

The name is 'Whedon'.

Dark Angel fan in Los Angeles said...

The name is punk ass bitch as far as I'm concerned and you can add no-talent hack as his
last name while your at it.
To the nitwit that wrote this lously article, you dont know Jessica Alba and you certaintly couldnt have watched any or much of Dark Angel, a show that was in every way far superior to any garbage some half-assed glory-hoggin halfwit tried to pass off as anything more than his pathetic attempt at sci-fi which he clearly sucks at!
James Cameron, Charles Eglee and the rest of the shows producers were and are bonafid true sci-fi writers and fans who of course know how to put together a deep meaningful & complex plotline as well as knowing how to direct the actresses and actors that are bringing their stories to life. Please dont make absurd comparisons to them by using some jackass hack of a writer who gloryhogged his way into fame by backstabbing and pushing his 'assistant' staff, who were actually the real creators for the most popular material on either Buffy or Angel. People like David Greenwalt and Tim Minear are the real success behind both these shows and their the ones that got little to no REAL credit for their work.
Dark Angel was one of the best television series to ever come out in history, not just science fiction history either. Ms. Alba also did a magnificent & flawless job, week after week, in portraying and bringing the character of Max Guevara to life. As far as I can tell she deserves her success, its just too bad she didnt get the chance to build it on Dark Angel as a continuing series. I have no doubt that Dark Angel would have been a massive success if FOX, or perhaps I should say Gail Bergman, hadnt screwed with the scheduale so much, cut alot of the advertising for the show, insisted on interfering with the shows plot direction, and basically backstabbing Cameron by conspiring with the creator of fireflunk, who just happened to be her good buddy and buisness partner, to air it in place of the now suspiciously cancelled Dark Angel.
BTW, saying that Jessica Alba is a diva is completely uncalled for and just as absurd as Dark Angel's cancellation itself. Please provide your proof for such as ludicrous accusation. I'm sure you have none, unless you count that finger you have stuck up your rotten ass!