Deadline

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Kennedy getting better : relief to hack comics everywhere

Thousands of hack comics breathed a sigh of relief when Massachusetts Senator was able to return home from a hospital stay where doctors discovered a brain tumor.

The Great Senator has been a staple of comedians' acts for many years. With his heavy new England accent, his sorted lifestyle and his famous family - comedians have been able to ignore his great contributions to this country and make him the butt of many drinking jokes.

But now with his worsening health, it might not be appropriate to make fun of a sick man. This reporter sends his prayers to the Senator and his family.


"This doesn't just affect us, the road comics," stated Tucker Bryans aka "The White Shucky Ducky" from his Chevy Nova/home in Waco Texas, "Morning dj's, Afternoon talk show hosts, night time dj's. Even the funny guy in the office would be at a great loss if the senator does not get better."

"Impersonating the Senator, alluding that he's a drunk and that he might have killed a woman, is great fodder and paid for this #4 combo meal we are enjoying, " said the generous Juan Tomato of the comedy team "Tomato and Pepe."

Please note: This reporter had a #2 not a #4. Pepe did not have anything since he is a foam squirrel puppet.

"What's the big deal? I still do George Burns talking to Dr. Ruth. They've been dead for years,*" piped up Voice-o, "The man of 127 voices" - five of which are unfair racial stereotypes.
"I'll just change it up. 'Tedd Kennedy recovering from brain surgery, it would go a little something like this(VOICE-O TURNS AROUND AND TURNS BACK TO THIS REPORTER AND THEN TURNS BACK)..."Erra, erra, erra, ouch...' It writes itself. I just pray Deniro doesn't fal in a pit or something. Now can I take your order?"

Please note: This reporter ordered the meatloaf special with curly fries. This reporter also had a Diet Pepsi, even though he asked for a Diet Coke.

*Please note: This reporter is happy to report that Dr. Ruth is very much alive.

No comments: