Monday, November 19, 2007

Network Mandates

It seems like this season all the networks had their own mandates for what their new show should be like. Every show has the same general theme.I know this comes a little late...

Ordinary people with extraordinary powers. After the success of "Heroes" NBC must of decided to duplicate the show's general theme. Imagine pitching your doctors-in-love drama and the network exec says, "Yes, but can the surgeon fly?"


"Chuck" - a computer geek gets all of the secrets of the government implanted in his brain by watching a youtube video sent by a guy who beat him up in high school. Every week his knowledge fits in perfectly with that week's plot. For some reason he has to keep his computer job and work for the government on the sly. Why not just ship him off to Washington and give him a desk and a pension? Or just shoot him. This show just makes me miss "Greatest American Hero." Let's bring that back!

"Journey Man" - speaking of remakes - here's "Quantum Leap" without the cigars. A normal journalist who lives in San Fransisco all of a sudden has the power to go back in time and fix mistakes that may or may not have any effects on the present. I'm confuse. The good thing about the show is that his wife knows his secret. Unlike Chuck and Reaper, the main character doesn't have to pretend he was at the store getting milk for 56 hours.

"Bionic Woman" - this time she doesn't want the power! She's a regular person! A nerdy note: in the original pilot the BW - Jamie Summers-Winter-Fall has a deaf sister that she had to take care of. For some reason they re-shot those scenes with a character that wasn't deaf. Thanks for taking out an interesting twist.

"Life"- a cop who spent 16 years in jail is released and can now shoot lasers out of his fingers. (Ok - not true, but I'm trying to make a point here.)

3 out of 4 shows.

ABC: Groups of four people doing something. Preferably the same sex.

Big Shots - 4 rich men bonding over how hard life is being 4 rich great looking men. It's just like life, right?

Car Poolers - 4 guys drive to work each day sharing trials and tribulations. It stars the great Jerry Minor one of the few black people on the schedule this year. We have the recently divorced ladies man, the regular-every man married guy, the newly wed and the hen pecked black guy that shows up in most places. It's like a TV version of Wild Hogs.

Cavemen - 3 cavemen live in modern times...wait they have a fourth friend who shows up from time to time for no reason making it four. Plus all four of them play racket ball. I can't help but think if this concept came up in the Cosby Show 80's - the cavemen would've been a family, not four single guys. There was a sitcom, "Dinosaurs" on ABC's TGI family sitcom night for pre-teens and the babysitters who have to watch them while their parents escaped for a few hours. The show was nothing more than a Simpsons/Family Matters/Flintstones rip off with people in bad outfits. If you are going to make a show about dinosaurs, why does it have to be a family? 80's MANDATE!

Women's Murder Club - Four women solve murders every week. The Tammy-Wynette-stand-by-your-man-who-happens-to-be-in-a-wheel-chair coroner (who shows up at crime scenes), the young ambitious reporter who doesn't know if she should get serious with her bf because she's a career woman, the prosecutor who's married and shows up at crime scenes, and Angie Harmon who plays the super hot cop who just can't seem to get a date.

Cashmere Mafia - four female almost movie stars play Hollywood hot shots who like Women's Murder Club join forces, but not to solve murders.

Pushing Daisies has four people in it! 2 men, 2 women. They get together to solve crimes and bake pies.

Samantha Who? has 3 best friends, making it four characters...the drunk ( like "Samantha" from Sex and the Citybut much hotter), the do gooder ex boyfriend who apparently is some kind of angel and and the most original character of the season - a girl Samantha dropped at puberty but is now using Samantha's amnesia to be friends again. Samantha also has parents, but it doesn't fit my theory. Again, if this show was on ABC in the 80's would she be a mother of three (a trouble maker son, a smart daughter and a cute as pie daughter)?

OK, Private Practice and Dirty Sexy Money don't fit. that's 7 out of 9.

CBS: Anything but cop shows.
A show about a vampire, a musical about (well I'm still not sure what it's about), a reality show where they abuse children and make them cry, a Hispanic "Dynasty" and "Two and Half Men" the younger years.

FOX seemed to just be looking for something that will lead in or out of their established hit.
A cop show out of their prison show, a sitcom out of their another sitcom with a star from "Raymond," two music reality shows tht no one will watch and another Gordon Ramsey show.

1 comment:

Mike said...

The fourth caveman is the original one from the TV commericals. Dude's been playing that cavemen for so long he honestly looks like he sleeps in his make-up before arriving to the set. Also when he's on the show he's always drinking.