Last night at 1 AM a new record was broken. The one millionth comedian made the joke "I slept like a baby last night. I cried and took a shit on myself."
"I honestly thought I wrote that joke," Matt Wilde told this reporter, "I was more shocked to find out I wasn't the only person who wrote this joke, let alone the 1 millionth."Although he's only been doing stand up comedy for 7 weeks - he's made a name for himself.
Last week, he got the honors of being the 2 millionth person to think he wrote the crowd work line, "What town are you from? Do you know Bob?"
Not everyone loves Mr. Wilde's sudden notoriety. The other open mic comics are jealous and have even shunned the celebrated joke teller.
"Just two weeks ago I told that baby joke," said Teddie Spaghetti from his job at bakery. "But I honestly wrote it. I didn't steal it. I lived the joke. I don't have any kids, but I cry and shit myself in my sleep. Now I can't do that joke anymore. What a waste."
(Phil Schwarzmann has nothing to do with this article. We just used his photo. Go check him out on his website.)