Not News

CNN is covering the Hilary Clinton hostage situation. The crawl below it just read, " The list of the highest paid Hollywood actresses was released and Angelina Jolie was not on top. Cameron Diaz was higher." That's not news!I thought the crawl was implemented after 9/11 to inform us on other attacks and on the war. The crawl is for emergences, not viewers with ADD.

Chili reception (Get it? You will Keep reading)

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are suing the show that has the same title as their CD and song.
Says lead singer Anthony Kedis, "Californication is the signature CD, video and song of the band's career, and for some TV show to come along and steal our identity is not right."
He went on to say, "Plus there were tons of boobs in the pilot episode and not so much after that. It was basically 'Dream On' without the movie clips. The show was about a guy who wrote a blog. A blog!"

In fairness the producers thought they were stealing "Stadium Arcadium" but got confused because all their albums sound the same.

Seriously Anthony, what took you so long?

The TV show "Arrested Development" was sued by the band of the same name. They were ordered to be hit in the head by that old dude's cane.

Network Mandates

It seems like this season all the networks had their own mandates for what their new show should be like. Every show has the same general theme.I know this comes a little late...

NBC: Ordinary people with extraordinary powers. After the success of "Heroes" NBC must of decided to duplicate the show's general theme. Imagine pitching your doctors-in-love drama and the network exec says, "Yes, but can the surgeon fly?"

Examples:

"Chuck" - a computer geek gets all of the secrets of the government implanted in his brain by watching a youtube video sent by a guy who beat him up in high school. Every week his knowledge fits in perfectly with that week's plot. For some reason he has to keep his computer job and work for the government on the sly. Why not just ship him off to Washington and give him a desk and a pension? Or just shoot him. This show just makes me miss "Greatest American Hero." Let's bring that back!

"Journey Man" - speaking of remakes - here's "Quantum Leap" without the cigars. A normal journalist who lives in San Fransisco all of a sudden has the power to go back in time and fix mistakes that may or may not have any effects on the present. I'm confuse. The good thing about the show is that his wife knows his secret. Unlike Chuck and Reaper, the main character doesn't have to pretend he was at the store getting milk for 56 hours.

"Bionic Woman" - this time she doesn't want the power! She's a regular person! A nerdy note: in the original pilot the BW - Jamie Summers-Winter-Fall has a deaf sister that she had to take care of. For some reason they re-shot those scenes with a character that wasn't deaf. Thanks for taking out an interesting twist.

"Life"- a cop who spent 16 years in jail is released and can now shoot lasers out of his fingers. (Ok - not true, but I'm trying to make a point here.)

3 out of 4 shows.

ABC: Groups of four people doing something. Preferably the same sex.

Big Shots - 4 rich men bonding over how hard life is being 4 rich great looking men. It's just like life, right?

Car Poolers - 4 guys drive to work each day sharing trials and tribulations. It stars the great Jerry Minor one of the few black people on the schedule this year. We have the recently divorced ladies man, the regular-every man married guy, the newly wed and the hen pecked black guy that shows up in most places. It's like a TV version of Wild Hogs.

Cavemen - 3 cavemen live in modern times...wait they have a fourth friend who shows up from time to time for no reason making it four. Plus all four of them play racket ball. I can't help but think if this concept came up in the Cosby Show 80's - the cavemen would've been a family, not four single guys. There was a sitcom, "Dinosaurs" on ABC's TGI family sitcom night for pre-teens and the babysitters who have to watch them while their parents escaped for a few hours. The show was nothing more than a Simpsons/Family Matters/Flintstones rip off with people in bad outfits. If you are going to make a show about dinosaurs, why does it have to be a family? 80's MANDATE!

Women's Murder Club - Four women solve murders every week. The Tammy-Wynette-stand-by-your-man-who-happens-to-be-in-a-wheel-chair coroner (who shows up at crime scenes), the young ambitious reporter who doesn't know if she should get serious with her bf because she's a career woman, the prosecutor who's married and shows up at crime scenes, and Angie Harmon who plays the super hot cop who just can't seem to get a date.

Cashmere Mafia - four female almost movie stars play Hollywood hot shots who like Women's Murder Club join forces, but not to solve murders.

Pushing Daisies has four people in it! 2 men, 2 women. They get together to solve crimes and bake pies.

Samantha Who? has 3 best friends, making it four characters...the drunk ( like "Samantha" from Sex and the Citybut much hotter), the do gooder ex boyfriend who apparently is some kind of angel and and the most original character of the season - a girl Samantha dropped at puberty but is now using Samantha's amnesia to be friends again. Samantha also has parents, but it doesn't fit my theory. Again, if this show was on ABC in the 80's would she be a mother of three (a trouble maker son, a smart daughter and a cute as pie daughter)?

OK, Private Practice and Dirty Sexy Money don't fit. that's 7 out of 9.

CBS: Anything but cop shows.
A show about a vampire, a musical about (well I'm still not sure what it's about), a reality show where they abuse children and make them cry, a Hispanic "Dynasty" and "Two and Half Men" the younger years.

FOX seemed to just be looking for something that will lead in or out of their established hit.
A cop show out of their prison show, a sitcom out of their another sitcom with a star from "Raymond," two music reality shows tht no one will watch and another Gordon Ramsey show.

I watch too much TV

Last Wednesday I noticed that on my 8 o'clock show - "Pushing Daisies" they had to solve the murder of a guy who ws married to four different women. Then on my 10 PM show "Life," the cops discover a body of a guy who's secretly married to two different women.

Just saying. If you are going to have shows that look a like, try not to put them on the same night. We get it, every show does the same stories.

I like Life, but they are getting away from the "He spent 16 years in prison" thing. Don't you think if a cop was in the pen (as we call it) for over ten years he's be a little more freaked out?

Oh, I offically don't give a shit who set him up. It's not so interesting. The murders are interesting.

Plus how hot are cops and lawyers. His partner, his lawyer, ex wife, his ex partner's wife, Adam Arkin's forced love interest, all the victims' families, the tamale lady, etc.

Just saying...Maybe all women look even better after 16 years of prison.

I don't know if you check out Woot.com for useless electronics. They
put one thing on sale a day. Of course you do. The stuff is not
always the top brans or useful. But it seems so cheap - I have to
check. Today is one of those days where they have more than one thing
for sale. They will sell one thing until it sells out. Then another.

I'm addicted to the rush of buying something cheap. I'm sorry. I have a problem.
Anyway... if you're anything like me, you'll be hitting the refresh
button all day.

Sometimes tey'll just sell a "bag of crap."

Things I bought from http://www.woot.com:
Radar detector (never opened)
a small MP3 player/fm radio that records the radio (doesn't work with my mac.)
A large mp3 player w/ FM and a mircophone
sunglasses with an MP3 player - opened once never took out of box -
it's as dumb as it sounds.
blue tooth head phones - stopped working.
regular headphones - always use
vcr/dvd player recorder - one day it just stopped working
stereo that supposed to play my ipod - that part does not work
A Movado watch for my mom - she loves the watch and wears it all the time.


There's more - can't remember.

Bruce strikes

http://www.brucestrikes.com/index.html

studio exec protests the WGA

finally the studios have their say.

My favorite podcasts...in case you are looking.

I'm obsessed with podcasts. I don't know why! I'm always looking for new ideas if you find something let me know.

My top can't wait for them to come on the computer:
From KPCC - Off Ramp- great local show about strange things in LA.
Also on KPCC - Film week. good reviewers.

Tim Goodman's TV talk machine from the SF Chronicle. (Last two weeks he has on Ricky Gervais and David Duchovny. But mostly he talks TV stuff and acts goofy. It actually gets tiring. When they actually talk about TV it's better.)
The Business - show biz features and news with slight sarcasm.
The Treatment - Elvis Michel interviews directors.
KCRW's today's top tunes - new songs every day. great stuff.
Indie Feed - has new music too. They have different genres. Rock, hip hop, and electronica.

News:
CNN Headline news, MSNBC and NPR news updated every hour.
FOX has one too, but it sucks. It's 5 minutes long. In the middle of it they have a soft news item. who cares. i have 5 minutes. I don't want to hear the same Tony Danza interview every hour.
Cynopsis - daily TV news and ratings. The host can hardly read. It makes it more fun to get your news from a someone who can't pronounce "Colbert" or "Sixth Sense." It's like she's reading my typing.
Marc Berman's Programming Insider. - TV ratings with a strong New York accent always makes it sound official.


NPR shuffle: best of all the newscasts
The cool as hell Theater podcast - host interviewing real SF performers. I take sick pleasure in it.

opcast - ny times has an interesting podcast interviewing people who resently wrote an op ed piece.

I know people like Men with Feelings and "Keith and the Girl."

F U NBC!

Fuck You NBC!
This week’s “Las Vegas” featured the super stereotypical Jewish family. The shrill and loud overwewight pushy wife. The menchie bald dad who became rich by becoming the “Brisket King” of some place in Florida. They are throwing a Bar Mitzvah for their nerdy son.
The mother argues about something they wanted for the affair but didn’t get. The party planner offers her an extra buffet for free and the mother is very pleased.

At least they didn’t play “Fiddler on the Roof” type music whenever they walked into a scene, oh wait they did.javascript:void(0)
Publish Post

Every bad stereotype in the book was thrown in and the book as well.

It was like it was written by a bunch of bullies in the 7th grade. It’s embarrassing.

Oh, at the Bar Mitzvah itself, there’s a shot of a huge ham on the carving station.
Every stereotype in the book was thrown in.

The only realistic part was that they hired a rapper for his big day.

They also had a subplot where everyone had to carry around an egg for the day to prove their parenting skills. This is right out of every sitcom ever. What else can you expect from a “Love Boat” rip off.


You can go to NBC.com to see the entire episode.

Here’s the plot summary from the “Love Boat” update from the NBC website:



Sam is organizing a big ticket bar mitzvah for Cy and Beth Lipshitz’s nerdy son Hershel. Cy tells Sam to set up a private table for him and keep his wife and son entertained and away from him.
Sam offers Piper $5000 to babysit Hershel.
Piper notices Hershel looking shyly at some girls. Why doesn’t he ask them to join in? Hershel asks if Piper’s a prostitute, and she is about to huff off, but he offers to pay her double to teach him how to get a girl. Piper relents, but only if Hershel does everything she says.

Piper holds Hershel’s hand through a full makeover with a haircut, new cool clothes, even an earring. Piper encourages him to talk to the girls, but Hershel chickens out and runs off. Piper rushes after him.

Hershel tells Piper that he may look great, but he’s still a wuss on the inside, nothing’s changed. Piper asks if Cy has had the man-talk with Hershel. But they never talk, Cy’s always busy. Piper takes Hershel to the table where Cy gambles, not wanting to interrupt his winning streak. Piper insists that she shouldn’t be the one teaching Hershel life lessons, and Cy gets the message, telling a baffled Sam to watch his chips. Sam’s worried that father and son are missing right before the party, but finds them bonding.

The bar mitzvah is getting underway. Hershel dances with Piper, and she gives him the confidence to ask the girls to dance. Cy and Beth have the time of their lives, watching their son dance to Mim’s live show with the rabbi’s daughter.

Enough with Britney

There's a news report today that she tried to order from the drive thru but forgot to roll down her window. It instantly reminded me of being in middle school where everything I did was commented on. Sorry I still have issues.

Back to Brit-- I think we should lay off, not so much because I feel bad for her, but it's getting boring. Can't you find a brand new young girl going thru a horrible family issues and a possible battle with substances? What about that girl from the "Game Plan?"

Pop will eat itself

Secrets reveled! On the pilot of FOX's much hyped "Back to You" Kelsey Grammer realizes that Patricia Heaton's daughter is actually his kin! What? You fathered the kid and then left for 10 years only to return and find out your ex lover is now your baby momma!!!!

Detective Grammer figures this out because Patricia's daughter, like him has a peanut allergy. What are the odds?

This sounded familiar to me? where did I hear this before? Wait...it's coming...Today I remembered that in the pilot for "October Road" the lead comes home after ten years and befriends a ten year old boy who turns out to be the son of his ex girlfriend that he left behind--And--that-- wait for it-- also has a peanut allergy! what? So now he thinks this might be his kid!

I don't know what shocks me more- that so many people have peanut allergies or that the "Back to You" writers stole something from "October Road."

I'm also shocked to find out that people with peanut allergies are so free with their sperm. Look out ladies. These guys will love you and leave you.

re-reporting Ratings for "Cavemen"

In case you were wondering how the commercial turned male Sex and the City did in it's premiere we turn to "The Progamming Insider at Mediaweek.com:

"Older skewing CBS warhorse NCIS won the 8 p.m. hour, with a 10.5 rating/16 share in the overnight markets. Second were two series debuts on ABC -- sitcoms Cavemen (6.5/10) and Carpoolers (6.3/10), which dropped, on average, by a significant 49 percent compared to Dancing With the Stars on the year-ago evening (12.5/19 from 8-9 p.m. on Oct. 3, 2006) . While no one expected these "comedies" to match Dancing With the Stars, given the hype, particularly for Cavemen, the initial sampling should have been higher. Let's be honest…wasn't Cavemen just awful?"
There you go. Thanks Marc.

Re-reporting the news: 'Best Week Ever' Exec Fred Graver Out

Re-reporting the news: 'Best Week Ever' Exec Fred Graver Out according to Mixed Media's Jeff Bercovici

His voice mail says he's on "walk about" which must be the new way to say "ankling."

From Conde Nast:
'Best Week Ever' Exec Out at VH1

Fred Graver, former head of programming for VH1 and creator of its Best Week Ever franchise, is leaving the network, according to several sources. Emails to Graver were met by an out-of-office message saying he's "on walkabout," but he has let it be known that he won't be back.*

Graver was in charge of programming and production for the network from June 2001 until May 2002. It was a fallow period, in terms of ratings -- "post Behind The Music and pre-Celebreality," as one source put it -- and he was soon demoted, with MTV entertainment president Brian Graden taking over his duties. (They were later handed to Michael Hirschorn.)

But Graver got a second life at the network in January 2004, when he launched Best Week Ever, the zeitgeist-y commentary/comedy show that became a VH1 staple. More recently, Graver had been developing a network of sites under the aegis of the Linked Media Group. I'm told that Graver did not get along with Tina Imm, VH1's vice president for digital media.

Various VH1 officials have yet to respond to calls for comment.

UPDATE: Gaurav Misra confirms he's replacing Graver as head of Linked Media.

*UPDATE 2: A VH1 spokesman confirms that Graver is "pursuing other opportunities." Misra, meanwhile, won't be taking over Linked Media per se -- it's being disbanded -- but he will be working on site development with Tina Imm.