Kill Bill Sucks Volume 1

Ads have been promoting Kill Bill as "the 4th film by Quentin Taratino," but that's misleading. The October release is merely one half - excuse me, Volume One -
of a three-hour movie, with Volume 2 being released in February. The film can be screened more times during the day, and two release dates makes the epic eligible
for the 2003 and 2004 Oscars, the logic goes. But there's two good reasons why this insidious logic is flawed, and, in fact, defeats the point of this picture.

First, don't believe the hype. Splitting the picture into two may eke more money for the multiplexes, but it isn't the reason for the divide. Miramax clearly
has its eye on the upcoming DVD boxed set. Two discs cover the two volumes, with another disc for the deleted scenes, international trailers, documentaries
on genre flicks, and the obligatory unwatchable interview with the Q-man himself. Charge $20-$30 and watch the fans snap it up for years to come. Release
it Q4 2004 and it could make more money than the theatrical releases, making the theatrical releases little more than a year-long series of promos for the
DVDs, like this week's re-release of Scarface.

Ultimately, the reason why the bifurcation defeats the point of the movie is... (To be concluded in Volume 2)

- Media Yenta's Brother