The year's worst movies were celebrated Saturday, and
no, we're not talking about the Spirit Awards. But
seriously folks, the 24th Annual Razzies Awards
happened in Santa Monica a day before the Oscars. We weren't so far off in our predictions ("Berry Bad Things," 1.29.2004) for the worst cinema in 2003.
And the award goes to: Gigli
Winner: Worst Picture, Worst Actor (Ben), Worst Actress (Jennifer), Worst Screen Couple (Bennifer),
Worst Director & Screenplay (Martin Brest)
What We Said: It wouldn't be 2003 without Gigli.
What We Say Now: Only the most harden rubberneckers will enjoy the awful cameos, airless environments and paint-peeling dialogue. The fact we're supposed to believe they are professional killers makes "Gigli" absolutely the worst gangster movie ever made. For a good bad movie, go see fellow Razzie winner "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" (Worst Sequel) instead.
And the awards go to: Sylvester Stallone & Demi Moore
Winner: Worst Supporting Actor & Actress (Spy Kids 3, Charlie's Angels 2)
What We Said: I say, for your consideration, add
Justin Bartha ("Gilgi") to the Supporting Actor list.
What We Say Now: After viewing "Gigli", we now admire Bartha. As for Sly and Demi, we feel the Academy has a bias towards previous Razzie Winners. This is Sly's tenth Razzie and Demi's sixth, and last year Madonna won again. The Academy needs to award fresher blood to honor today's horrific shit.
And the award goes to: Dr. Seuss' The Cat-In-The-Hat
Winner: Worst Excuse for an Actual Movie
What We Said: Kids deserve a live action film that respects Dr. Seuss.
What We Say Now: This is why we love the Razzies. Bad movies are everywhere, but crass exploiters like "Cat" need to be singled out.
- Media Yenta's Brother