The Secret Santa prank

I didn’t know anyone my first semester at New Paltz. So I was happy to see I had a secret admirer. I came in my junior year and joined the theater department. Around Christmas, I signed up for Secret Santa hoping to make a connection. Every day, I got a little gift and a really sweet note from a woman telling me how cute I was and how special I was. Each note got a little more explicit. Nothing too crazy, but going there. I’d look around the classroom and wonder who my secret admirer was. I assumed she was just being nice. Maybe she was getting a little carried away with the Christmas spirit. Or maybe this was going to be the start of something. At the party, it was finally my turn to open my gift and meet my Secret Santa. I looked around the room. Who was the lucky lady? I gave my gift an unimpressed guy I never really got to know. No biggie. It’s my turn! My gift was long and rectangular. Was it booze? I had no idea. I unwrapped it. It was a toolbox with just a note in it. “Now that I got your tool all hot and bothered, here’s a box to put it in.”

Joe was one of our senior professors. He taught my stagecraft class. He was a theater expert. He was super nice and super fun. He was a legend at the school-a large man with a hearty laugh, which he let out as he watched my face drop. Joe was one of our senior professors. He taught my stage craft class. He was a theater expert. He was super nice and super fun.He was a legend at the school. A large man with a hearty laugh, which he let out as he watched my face drop. I knew it came from a good place. But I had really been looking forward to meeting that woman. He didn’t know how lonely I’d been. As he shared the laugh with me he explained he had his assistant write all the notes so they’d be in a woman’s handwriting. Download the Medium App I told him I appreciated the amount of work he put into disappointing me. A couple of months later, we got hit with a bad snowstorm. The snow was about a foot high. The road into campus for the professors was paved and had high snow banks on one side. So I wrote on the bank “I ♥ Joe Peperone.” Joe called me into his office. Apparently the president of the school had seen it and called Joe, worried someone was harassing his favorite teacher. Joe assured him that from the spelling of his name, he had an idea who it was. We had a laugh. We agreed it wasn’t the best prank in the world. Besides being brilliant, Joe was a really kind man who went out of his way to help students. When he had advice about acting or business he was always calm, kind and right. He helped me write a letter and get it to John Turturro, hoping I could work on his latest movie, which was shooting in Italy. At the time, I was fluent in Italian. I’m still waiting for the response from John. Fingers crossed. Joe was also an actor. He appeared in Turturro’s movies and played a variety of New Yorkers on Law & Order. What made me think of him Today I got an email from him today. I opened the email. He was writing to say that he had two photos from 2026 to share.

I would’ve clicked the link, except Joe passed away five years ago. Either it was malware or Joe had figured out how to prank me from the great beyond. Sometimes the little things remind you of great people. Thanks, Joe.

The Truth Behind the Amanda Seyfried movie

No Spoiler Alert - The Housemaid may look like a sexy thriller, but it’s actually a period piece. I’m a movie expert and long time host of the cult movie podcast, “Proudly Resents.” So here’s a summary of the hit movie The Housemaid. First, let’s give a shout out to my listeners and readers. Especially to my wife whose idea it was to get HBOMax and who I might have started this movie on her tile. It’s strange because the poster makes it look like a sexy thriller with possible nudity, but IT’S NOT. It’s an exploration of the human spirit.

The Housemaid is a based on a Jane Campion novel, directed by Jane Austen. (Update, I know that sounds wrong, but they switched jobs. Sydney Sweeney and Amanda Seyfried play two sisters, Sense and Sensibility. They are in a sprawling mansion with Sensibility’s husband who wants Sense… I gave away too much. Now there’s no reason to watch it and see that I made this whole thing up. Next week I’ll be writing about the classic sci-fi spinoff of the The Big Bang Theory strangely titled, The Sex Lives of College Girls. Which I only started watching on your account by mistake. Let me know what movie or show you need me to review. Share with a friend who might want (need) this review.

If you Like "Hot Ones..." I got a show for you

If you like Hot Ones, buy my new show Punched in the Stomach Ones. It’s an interview show, BUT between each question, the celebrity is punched in the stomach. Each time with a harder punch. First, you’re hit by an overactive toddler who’s ready for a nap. Then you’re hit by an eight-year-old who just found out his parents are getting divorced and that he has to start calling his babysitter “Momma Katie.” It goes all the ay up to the giant bouncer who’s tired of people commenting on his crappy beard.

They say imitation is the greatest form of television. If something works, we want to take a chance on it. There’s a show where celebrities eat increasingly spicy chicken wings. Every media outlet is looking for its own version of the wildly successful Hot Ones. In the early 2000s, everyone wanted their own version of the hit show Blind Date, where cameras followed a couple around and funny comments appeared on-screen. There was a block of all the knock offs. Remember all the Friends knock offs? Some of them featured actors that turned down Friends!! There was even Coupling. It was an American version of the British Friends knock-off! When Rikki Lake’s talk show blew up, every actor under 30 was deemed “relatable to the younger audience” and got a show. Then every show did what Rikki did, but a year later. Judge Judy was a hit, there were copies everywhere. Some worked. I remember Divorce Court shared a studio with Animal Court with Judge Wapner. “The case of Fildo vs. Mr. Cutie Cute.” It’s good to have shorthand when you’re pitching publicists a new idea: “They answer questions while we make fun of them, and then they get eaten by a polar bear for no reason.” Anyway, buy my show. The cast is getting impatient. I’m afraid they might hurt me.