Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A Banner Day for Nerds!

Loud cries of "I Told You SO!" rang out of mother's basements and North Hollywood studio apartments today when not one, but two conspiracies were revealed.

First George Lucas revealed to the EP's of "Lost" that he had no direction for Star Wars when he started the franchise.

Then in an interview, Shia LeBouf admitted to the LA TImes that the last Indiana Jones movie was bad.

"I thought it was bad,"  said this 45 year old reporter's roommate, "But the actors and the director kept saying it was good and there was a vision." Turns out that vision was blurred.

"This is like Watergate, but actually relevant to my life,"@HarvardGrad1985 twitted earlier while he was supposed to be working.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Stereotypes Needed!

Radar Online ("Where facts are not on our radar") is reporting that producers are casting a reality show about stereotypical Jewish American Princesses. Another show is being cast about Italians living on the beach in Brooklyn. 

Since "Jersey Shore" was such a hit, every cable channel 
(including it's home MTV) is looking for the next (copy of) 
big thing. Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

But all these shows are racist. They take the worst parts 
of a people and show that it's real. 
No one cares that it's racist.

Of course racism rates. So does sex. Starz has a big hit with their 
"300" rip off mostly because it has shirtless men fighting
and fucking hot women. That's the key to success. Shirtless fucking& fighting. 

The challenge is to make a success without going base. Can you do it?
Look for my new show "Jdate my Dog."

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

MOP It Up, Please Take It

Yesterday I got to pitch some TV shows to a friend at a production company. His boss was late (his lunch meeting went late...past 3...) so just my friend and I went into the pitching room to do the awkward dance.

It was a conference room with two large orange half circle shaped couches. We joked around a bit and then I asked like an over booked hooker, "Should we do this?"

He nodded and we got dancing. After my first show he said they had tried to versions of that idea and neither worked. I went on to the second show, not much interest. So I changed the game up and for my wacky, outrageous, out there show idea.

After I finished I waited for the judges reaction. Then he dropped the bomb - "That show is a MOP." "What's a MOP?" "Most Often Pitched."

Some show ideas are constantly pitched over and over again. People, like myself, come into a meeting and pitch an idea that someone else just pitched and someone else to pitch the next day.

So you can walk around for months with a great idea that you think will shake up the history of TV or at least a pilot deal and

This turns out to be a real term. Even Mark (photo with male Tony CurtisSell Your TV Concept dot com uses this term - and they are trying to sell you a product!

So I guess, "Date my Dog" will have to go back on the shelf.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

fan revolt: "That's what 'Avatar' is about?

After selling a record breaking amount of 2-D DVD's the fans of "Avatar" finally got to watch the movie as a movie and not an amusement part ride.

"The plot is so corny," said 12 year old Tommy Boyd, "It's the same plot of 'Ferngally.'"
"What a rip off," stated Emma Besselmint, 46, "In 3-D you didn't notice the plot holes. I was so disappointed I almost cut my super long braided pony tail."

In fact the realization has gotten so bad that fan fiction has gone on a steady decline.
"I've been going to work," one fan told us,  "And actually working. I've never done that before. I just don't have any reason to check the message boards. I was let down worse than Jar Jar. Turns out, I like my job."

"We forgot the bells and whistles," admitted one studio executive, "We thought that the plot, dialogue and acting could carry the DVD. We were way off."

The next round of DVD's will have "The Hurt Locker" on it.

New SNL viewers get ready to be disappointed

SNL had their highest rated show in a year and a half with host Betty White. Next wee is just multi-Emmy winner Alec Baldwin. get ready for Sunday morning emails of people saying it's not as funny as the one with Betty White. It's hard to top a show with everyone's favorite cast member and sketches from the last ten years and Jay Z doing his most popular songs . So no matter what Baldwin pulls out of his hat, the new viewers will not be satisfied.

Here are some sketches that were cut from the show. They are some of the audience favorites over the past few years...enjoy...

Friday, May 07, 2010

Questions about Betty White Hosting SNL

Why are so many people who don't usually watch Saturday Night Live exciting that the former star of the "Golden Girls" is hosting? These are viewers who say things like "I haven't watched the show since Blah-blah-blah" and "The show hasn't been funny since..." now they are excited to stay up late again.

If the ratings go up, will the people be able to pick all the hosts?

If the ratings go up, will Betty White get all the credit? The producers stacked the deck by having Jay Z as the musical guest and bringing back all the great women of the last 10 years for a special appearance.

Will this be a big hit or a flop of "Snakes on the Plane" proportions?

Is there going to be time for "What's up With that?"