Deadline

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Hipster Reveals, "Trucker hats aren't so bad."

EXCLUSIVE!
Dateline: Williamsburg , Brooklyn

A local hipster reveals to us that he wears trucker hats because he actually likes them.
"Sure," he confessed over a can of Pabts Blue Ribbon, "At first I was being ironic. But now I really, honestly enjoy wearing a trucker hat. The plastic mess back keeps my head cool.
"After a while I started to agree with the messages on the front of hats. I would rather be fishing."
The trucker hat was just the beginning. "My wife and I went to Virginia for our honeymoon. Now when I wear that vintage t-shirt, I agree with it. That place is for lovers."

His whole life has been turned upside down. "I love Chuck Norris. That guy loves America and kicks ass. I mean it." He goes on to shock us with his confession. "My friends used to watch Walker, Texas Ranger with me every night, but ironically. Once I really started to like it, they wouldn't watch it anymore. They said I had no taste. So now I have to pretend that I'm being ironic so they will watch it with me.

As for that mustache? "It stays. I looked cool and older. Seriously, women dig it."

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