Friday, November 30, 2007

Not News

CNN is covering the Hilary Clinton hostage situation. The crawl below it just read, " The list of the highest paid Hollywood actresses was released and Angelina Jolie was not on top. Cameron Diaz was higher." That's not news!I thought the crawl was implemented after 9/11 to inform us on other attacks and on the war. The crawl is for emergences, not viewers with ADD.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Chili reception (Get it? You will Keep reading)

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are suing the show that has the same title as their CD and song.
Says lead singer Anthony Kedis, "Californication is the signature CD, video and song of the band's career, and for some TV show to come along and steal our identity is not right."
He went on to say, "Plus there were tons of boobs in the pilot episode and not so much after that. It was basically 'Dream On' without the movie clips. The show was about a guy who wrote a blog. A blog!"

In fairness the producers thought they were stealing "Stadium Arcadium" but got confused because all their albums sound the same.

Seriously Anthony, what took you so long?

The TV show "Arrested Development" was sued by the band of the same name. They were ordered to be hit in the head by that old dude's cane.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Network Mandates

It seems like this season all the networks had their own mandates for what their new show should be like. Every show has the same general theme.I know this comes a little late...

Ordinary people with extraordinary powers. After the success of "Heroes" NBC must of decided to duplicate the show's general theme. Imagine pitching your doctors-in-love drama and the network exec says, "Yes, but can the surgeon fly?"


"Chuck" - a computer geek gets all of the secrets of the government implanted in his brain by watching a youtube video sent by a guy who beat him up in high school. Every week his knowledge fits in perfectly with that week's plot. For some reason he has to keep his computer job and work for the government on the sly. Why not just ship him off to Washington and give him a desk and a pension? Or just shoot him. This show just makes me miss "Greatest American Hero." Let's bring that back!

"Journey Man" - speaking of remakes - here's "Quantum Leap" without the cigars. A normal journalist who lives in San Fransisco all of a sudden has the power to go back in time and fix mistakes that may or may not have any effects on the present. I'm confuse. The good thing about the show is that his wife knows his secret. Unlike Chuck and Reaper, the main character doesn't have to pretend he was at the store getting milk for 56 hours.

"Bionic Woman" - this time she doesn't want the power! She's a regular person! A nerdy note: in the original pilot the BW - Jamie Summers-Winter-Fall has a deaf sister that she had to take care of. For some reason they re-shot those scenes with a character that wasn't deaf. Thanks for taking out an interesting twist.

"Life"- a cop who spent 16 years in jail is released and can now shoot lasers out of his fingers. (Ok - not true, but I'm trying to make a point here.)

3 out of 4 shows.

ABC: Groups of four people doing something. Preferably the same sex.

Big Shots - 4 rich men bonding over how hard life is being 4 rich great looking men. It's just like life, right?

Car Poolers - 4 guys drive to work each day sharing trials and tribulations. It stars the great Jerry Minor one of the few black people on the schedule this year. We have the recently divorced ladies man, the regular-every man married guy, the newly wed and the hen pecked black guy that shows up in most places. It's like a TV version of Wild Hogs.

Cavemen - 3 cavemen live in modern times...wait they have a fourth friend who shows up from time to time for no reason making it four. Plus all four of them play racket ball. I can't help but think if this concept came up in the Cosby Show 80's - the cavemen would've been a family, not four single guys. There was a sitcom, "Dinosaurs" on ABC's TGI family sitcom night for pre-teens and the babysitters who have to watch them while their parents escaped for a few hours. The show was nothing more than a Simpsons/Family Matters/Flintstones rip off with people in bad outfits. If you are going to make a show about dinosaurs, why does it have to be a family? 80's MANDATE!

Women's Murder Club - Four women solve murders every week. The Tammy-Wynette-stand-by-your-man-who-happens-to-be-in-a-wheel-chair coroner (who shows up at crime scenes), the young ambitious reporter who doesn't know if she should get serious with her bf because she's a career woman, the prosecutor who's married and shows up at crime scenes, and Angie Harmon who plays the super hot cop who just can't seem to get a date.

Cashmere Mafia - four female almost movie stars play Hollywood hot shots who like Women's Murder Club join forces, but not to solve murders.

Pushing Daisies has four people in it! 2 men, 2 women. They get together to solve crimes and bake pies.

Samantha Who? has 3 best friends, making it four characters...the drunk ( like "Samantha" from Sex and the Citybut much hotter), the do gooder ex boyfriend who apparently is some kind of angel and and the most original character of the season - a girl Samantha dropped at puberty but is now using Samantha's amnesia to be friends again. Samantha also has parents, but it doesn't fit my theory. Again, if this show was on ABC in the 80's would she be a mother of three (a trouble maker son, a smart daughter and a cute as pie daughter)?

OK, Private Practice and Dirty Sexy Money don't fit. that's 7 out of 9.

CBS: Anything but cop shows.
A show about a vampire, a musical about (well I'm still not sure what it's about), a reality show where they abuse children and make them cry, a Hispanic "Dynasty" and "Two and Half Men" the younger years.

FOX seemed to just be looking for something that will lead in or out of their established hit.
A cop show out of their prison show, a sitcom out of their another sitcom with a star from "Raymond," two music reality shows tht no one will watch and another Gordon Ramsey show.

I watch too much TV

Last Wednesday I noticed that on my 8 o'clock show - "Pushing Daisies" they had to solve the murder of a guy who ws married to four different women. Then on my 10 PM show "Life," the cops discover a body of a guy who's secretly married to two different women.

Just saying. If you are going to have shows that look a like, try not to put them on the same night. We get it, every show does the same stories.

I like Life, but they are getting away from the "He spent 16 years in prison" thing. Don't you think if a cop was in the pen (as we call it) for over ten years he's be a little more freaked out?

Oh, I offically don't give a shit who set him up. It's not so interesting. The murders are interesting.

Plus how hot are cops and lawyers. His partner, his lawyer, ex wife, his ex partner's wife, Adam Arkin's forced love interest, all the victims' families, the tamale lady, etc.

Just saying...Maybe all women look even better after 16 years of prison.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I don't know if you check out for useless electronics. They
put one thing on sale a day. Of course you do. The stuff is not
always the top brans or useful. But it seems so cheap - I have to
check. Today is one of those days where they have more than one thing
for sale. They will sell one thing until it sells out. Then another.

I'm addicted to the rush of buying something cheap. I'm sorry. I have a problem.
Anyway... if you're anything like me, you'll be hitting the refresh
button all day.

Sometimes tey'll just sell a "bag of crap."

Things I bought from
Radar detector (never opened)
a small MP3 player/fm radio that records the radio (doesn't work with my mac.)
A large mp3 player w/ FM and a mircophone
sunglasses with an MP3 player - opened once never took out of box -
it's as dumb as it sounds.
blue tooth head phones - stopped working.
regular headphones - always use
vcr/dvd player recorder - one day it just stopped working
stereo that supposed to play my ipod - that part does not work
A Movado watch for my mom - she loves the watch and wears it all the time.

There's more - can't remember.