Wednesday, May 14, 2003

The Fall Season: The Arm Chair Programmer
lists of line ups stolen from

ABC and WB
Over all ABC needs to take advantage of their cable channels and parent company Disney to get people comfortable and familiar with the new shows. They have a chance to end the summer with everyone knowing the shows and the actors before the shows even start. Abc Family, disney channel, US mag, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Radio Disney, etc. are all great ways to get the word out on new shows.

Here’s my two cents about ABC’s line up:

8:00 p.m. Primetime Monday
9:00 p.m. Monday Night Football (through January)

Fine. I guess they gave up. They can’t find a Monday show at 8PM. What about bringing

8:00 p.m. 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter
8:30 p.m. I'M WITH HER
9:00 p.m. According to Jim
9:30 p.m. Less Than Perfect
10:00 p.m. NYPD Blue

I'M WITH HER is about a regular guy who starts a relationship with a popular actress. That sounds like a great one time movie, but not a series. How can you keep up the premise every week? Will they get together tonight? Yes………….maybe. You’ll have to wait until next week.
Jeez, can this go on for 5 years? “Tonight they go to a regular restaurant, but she’s flogged with people for autographs! Get it? How can they deal? It’s Crazy!”
Here’s the end to every episode:
Regular Guy: “I know, but it’s just that you’re famous and I’m a regular guy.”
Famous Woman: “I know, but I don’t care that you’re not famous like me. Let’s just be ok, ok?”
Regular Guy: “You’re right”
They hug.
And the actress playing her doesn’t feel like a movie star. It just feels false. I know it’s based on Brooke Shields and her regular Joe Husband, who’s just a very successful sitcom writer who created this show among others, why not put her in the lead! Brooke is available. I might even watch it then.

I say the lasts 3 or 4 weeks. Don’t buy that house just yet.
Let’s just rent Knotting Hill and Call it a day.


8:00 p.m. My Wife and Kids
9:00 p.m. The Bachelor
10:00 p.m. KAREN SISCO

IT’S ALL RELATIVE: It’s basically the “Bird Cage.” Who knows. It should be a happier show if it’s going to be on the ABC fun block of TV. Parents might not let their kids watch a show with a happy stable gay family. And this whole lovable louse hasn’t worked since it was invented on “All in the Family.” I don’t buy it. Hopefully it’ll do well.

KAREN SISCO – Looks cool. ABC needs to do a lot of promotion. Get people more familiar with the character and the actress. They need to run “Out of Sight” (the movie it’s based on) this summer. Get the actress on shows, including Spanish speaking talk shows and magazines. Maybe spread a rumor or two. Otherwise it’ll get lost behind LAW & ORDER(ER). Maybe show the pilot on Sunday night. Here’s a place where a movie theater trailer for the show in the theaters could help.


9:00 p.m. Extreme Makeover (new day and time)
10:00 p.m. Primetime Thursday

No one cares. Maybe move THREAT MATRIX to Saturday at 10 PM when LA Dragnet gets cancelled. They need to but Monk from USA and produce it real cheaply and take a little loss instead of getting clobbered. This is Friends last year, so maybe a chance to start a real show at 8 PM. Monk can be done cheaply. Gets people used to having a show there.

ABC said Thursday at 9 is their reality wheel. A trash barge. Again, cheap burn offs, and maybe a break out hit.


8:00 p.m. George Lopez (new day and time)
8:30 p.m. BACK TO KANSAS
9:00 p.m. HOPE & FAITH
9:30 p.m. Life With Bonnie
10:00 p.m. 20/20

Finally, TGIF is back. It made no sense to fuck with something that works. Lopez, great idea. A perfect family show that everyone can enjoy. BACK TO KANSAS? F that. That thing will get shit canned faster than you can say “Inside Schwartz.” They need another family sitcom or a show that kids will flock to, like "perfect Strangers" or Family Matters." KANSAS and the rest of the night feels too adult. They should clone Lopez three more times.

8:00 p.m. The Wonderful World of Disney
10:00 p.m. L.A. Dragnet (new day)

They are adding hot young people to Dragnet, pushing the old guy in the mentor position. He’ll dole out the work to the hotties and we get to watch! As long as they stick to the cool Dragnet format where they interview wacky characters and gather info w/o the over the top NYPD Blue style interrogation scenes, I’ll be happy with it. No one is watching on Saturday, so who cares. It seems like a good Saturday night option.


7:00 p.m. America's Funniest Home Videos (new day and time)
8:00 p.m. 10-8
9:00 p.m. Alias
10:00 p.m. The Practice (back to its old time period)

Great. Great. Great. Great. Just be patient with 10-8 and not change it 100 times in the first two weeks and people will stay with it.


The WB. Looks fine. I got to gets to work so here it is. I’m out!
8:00 p.m. 7th Heaven
9:00 p.m. Everwood


8:00 p.m. Gilmore Girls
9:00 p.m. FEARLESS

FEARLESS – Goner. Noo one is buying this show! A young hot CSI? Who cares?


8:00 p.m. Smallville (new day and time)
9:00 p.m. Angel



8:30 p.m. Jamie Kennedy Experiment (new time)
9:00 p.m. What I Like About You (new day and time)
9:30 p.m. RUN OF THE HOUSE

Again Steve Harvey could be a bit hit. Move the whole line up to Friday and replace the 9 o’clock show with Reba.

8:00 p.m. Reba (new time)
8:30 p.m. LIKE FAMILY
9:00 p.m. Grounded For Life (new time)

Don’t get used to these people.

7:00 p.m. Smallville: Beginnings (repeat)
8:00 p.m. Charmed

When they shit can T & J they should move Charmed to 9 and Steve Harvey to 8.

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