Saturday, August 29, 2009

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Show that honors TV shows, will take time out to honor TV shows

There was a big controversy over the TV Academy wanting to "time shift" certain awards to make time for big tributes. Honors to writers and other not-as-glamorous winners would be handed out before the broadcast and then shown an hour later, but cutting out the long walk from the cheap seats to the podium.

This brought upon an outrage. "How could they cut down something for a TV show just because no one wants to see it on a TV show?"

Part of the reason for the downsizing was to make room for more tributes. The last time they did a tribute it helped the ratings. So this year the top rated cop and reality shows are getting an act. No format have been released, but a safe bet is that they'll show clip of CSI and American Idol and then have the cast walk out to thunderous applause.
In the 70's there would be a row of red hair dancers dramatically pulling off their sunglasses to a disco Who song.

Now the show will have both full awards and tributes. It seems absorb that a show that honors TV will take a break to honor TV. If you really want to honor CSI then nominate it for best drama. Nominate some of the actors and writers. It's crazy to see an awards show say they love something, but not give it awards.

It's like the LA Riots (go with me on this one). The police were let off but clearly justice was not done. The police could not be re-tried or re-arrested. So a civil lawsuit was filed. Rodney King got justice. This system has been used many times since. The families of the killing that the law found was not done by OJ, was still his responsibility.

Since you can't tell the academy members not stop voting for anything by Tommy Schlamme or on cable an alternative had to be created. Hence the tributes. "Here are shows that everyone loves but us! Enjoy."

The Wire was continually snubbed by the Academy. Should they get a dance number years later? Is having McNulty and Bunk sing "Swinging on a Star" justice?

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Monk Solves an Important Mystery

This week on "Monk," Monk answers the burning question, "Did Daniel Stern fall off the face of the Earth after his sitcom failed?" The answer is - no. He was on last week's Monk. Thanks Monk. Also, "Has DS been doing crunches during his time off?"

Here's a fun game.

Here's a fun game. Watch the trailer for the new Uma film "Motherhood." At the end of each snippet yell at the computer "No she di'nt!" It builds and by the end you are wagging your finger and giving your PC "The hand.
Also throw in a couple of "No he di'nt just say that..." and "ER doctor talking crazy."

By the end you'll be yelling "OH NO! She di'nt!" Feel free to throw in a couple of "Girrrrrrrrrrrl" and "OH-kay."

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The 3 minute Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage

The Following is done by Ninja Car Wash

This is the original trailer for Neil LaBute's undisputed masterpiece "The Wicker Man". It was rejected by the studio and re-cut to be more "extreme". What a shame, because this trailer is much more honest about the tone and theme of the film.(you know, the theme of yelling profanity at children and beating women)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Winona Ryder Got Work Done

TV Cop Show Police Academy

Attention TV police cadets - I am A veteran TV cop show watcher. I have seen things you can only imagine. I have years watching the force. You must remember these tips in order to get your man/woman in a timely 48 minute fashion.

1) If a case involves a retired cop, he either did it or is doing security for the guy who did. I know he was your mentor and/or played by the book the whole time he was on the force or you knew his wife. But chances are his wife recently passed away or left him and he's totally obsessed with that one cold case you are opening up. Or he's making a killing off private security for a fat cat and will do anything to protect him. We know it's hard to bust a fellow a fellow officer.

2) if you hear of the guest star, he/she did it. This is mostly for cops on the L&O beat. If this person had a series at one point or was on The Wire, he did it.

3) If a teenage girl dies on the show, she's going to be involved in a prostitution circuit or an internet porn ring. I don't care if she's a straight A student. That's part of the mystery. Also, when she is found dead, she will be in a Catholic school uniform, even if she went to public school.

4) If the Russian mob is involved, Mr. Big's headquarters is in a strip club. Feel free to investigate during operational hours. Don't worry about it seeing topless woman. For some reason these woman dance around in their bathing suits.

5) All cases of murder are horrible, but if it involves children you have to get extra angry and take it personal.

6) If you are a psychic working out of Arizona - the killer is the woman's husband. Trust me. I've seen a tone of cases like this before. Tons. Almost every week, it seems like.

7) If a cop you never heard of or hardly hear about is just promoted, just had a baby, just got married or is talking about getting out of the cop biz and opening a flower shop, stay away from that officer. He will be murdered, soon. I know, it's unfair.

8) This goes for all the squads - if you meet this man, I don't care if he's a doctor or the victim's father, he did it. Plain and simple.

Now you know. So protect our TV streets. And thank you.

Killer caught

Skate boarding champ and skate park pioneer died from an allergic reaction from a bug bite. Boston police has wrangled up all the black beetles in the area and already have a confession.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Good Bad movie night: BIRDEMIC - Shock and Terror

"Birdemic" has become one of my favorite good-bad movies. not just the pure pain and joy of watching this videotaped opus, but the back story is pretty great too.

The filmmaker/visionary James Nguyen has made his third film and second blatant Hitchcock ripoff. The last movie was a "Vertigo" homage/rip off. This latest guessed it, a rip off of "The Birds."

"The Birds" star Tippi Hedren is in all three of his films, but she only shot footage for the first one. He reuses the footage he shot with her in LA in his other two movies and puts her name right up on the poster.

I don't know if SAG could get involved in this case get Hedren extra money since all the films seem to be shot on home video cameras.
lots of postings and blog entries have appeared slamming the filmmaker. I will not speculate on anything anyone says because i have no proof. But when I read that his office was around the corner from where I work, I rushed over...It's sad to report that it's just a mail box with the word "suite" before the PO box #.

The Northern Californian filmmaker has come down to the small town of Los Angeles to shoot his sequel to "Birdemic" - in 3D! Now be baffled and bored in three dimensions.

You can the original off a website that normally sells equipment.

In the meantime here's a list of things I love about "Birdemic: Shock and Terror."

- The pacing - It's almost shot in real time. When the leading man leaves his house to go to work, we see the entire trip. He walks to his car, gets in his car, drives down the street, pulls into a gas station fills up, goes back in his car, gets back on the road, drives to work gets to work, looks for a spot, finds a spot, gets out of the car, walks in the building heads to his desk.

- There are also scenes of majors phone sales, corporate mergers and promotions that have nothing to do with the plot or reality.

- The model! The female lead is a model. How do we know this? We see a photo shoot she is doing. Where's the shoot? On the beach? In a photo studio? Well, kinda. It's in an "one hour photo" shop. Like you find in a the town square. I didn't know they did
- How's the acting? Oh it's bad. But that's forgivable.

- The sound - it seems the whole movie is recorded using the sound mic that's built in the video camera. Sometimes, like when the professor type they meet on the road explains to our heroes why badly animated birds are attacking, you can't hear what he's saying.

- the birds themselves - in a movie that boasts killer birds right in the title, you would expect better birds. The director proudly says in an interview that he went to a graphics school and got recent graduates to do the fake birds attacking. that school should be shut down. They birds don't get smaller or larger or even seem to move that much. At the end of the movie when they fly off, it looks like they are flying in place because they don't get smaller into the sunset.

- The last shot - it's one long shot of actors staring skyward as the birds fly off. It's one shot. That meant those actors had to stand still for 5 minutes straight as the fake birds did nothing and the credits rolled.

As you can tell from the trailer, he decided to use, this is a slow paced movie that exists for no rhyme or reason. I love it.

Back stage at the premiere is just as exciting as the movie. Footage of people posing for still photos!

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Don't start crying to me

People are shocked that the early reports of the G.I. Joe movie are bad. Look at the source material. It's based on a cheapo cartoon from the 80's. Anything is an improvement. What are you expecting Realism? Symbolism? There's shooting and running and you will like it! So there.

People were upset with the "Godzilla" remake from "The Independence Day" guys. People complained that the monster looked bad and the plot was lame. It was based on a bunch of cheesy monster movies. Who was banking on it to be good?