Deadline

Monday, January 15, 2007


Screw TIVO!



I have a two and half year old model. It;s fine but it only records one show at a time...when I start tot complain about it I hear my mother's voice in my head, "One show at a time, that should be enough for a person. What kind of person needs to watch more than one show at a time?"

Who am I a prince? I should be grateful I have a color on my TV and that be the end of it.

Come to think of it, my mom's DVR can record two shows at once! Why can't I record both "What about Brian?" (WAB) and "Studio 60" at the same time? Now I have to choice which show to make fun of. (Note: I ended a sentence with a prep.) It's like Sophie's Choice (CLiche alert) if Sophie had to chose between shit and crap.

24 and Heros? Grey's and 30 Rock? Why couldn't I tape--I mean record-- Leno do "Headlines" and Letterman doing "Small Town News?" (Both in the second act of every Monday show)

So today while I'm in Best (not to) Buy looking for a new DVD player that can play 5 different types of DVD's (sorry mom, it's for work) I ask the clerk about upgrading my TIVO.

Before I asked him, I had to hunt him down like a Leprechaun with a pot of gold. He wore a name tag that read "Brian." He told me if I could not upgrade my TIVO and If I bought the new one which advertises that it can now walk and chew gum at the same time, I would have to sign up for a new plan. First of all, it's not a subscription, it's extortion. "You can buy our product, but you'll have to pay to keep using it."

When I bought a PC I didn't have to pay a subscription to use it...except for Spyware.

The new Tivo is only $65 after rebates, but I would have to get a new subscription. "But I have a lifetime subscription." That doesn't matter. Its for the life time of the box that I bought, not for TIVO in general. Plus they aren't offering life time subscriptions any more. Nice, dick.

I thanked him and we had a nice conversation about how he wants to be an actor. Then he told me if I needed anything, like an extra in something I might be shooting, I should ask for him by name, "Robert."

Well, fuck you TIVO and fuck you "Brian." Luckily networks are airing their shows on the internet.
So NBC, you won't get me watching and speeding by your ads on the local affiliate, but will watch on NBC.com. Sorry about the ratings.

Some people say they won't watch TV on their computer. I will. I'll watch TV anywhere. I'm an addict. It's sad but true. But you're saying you'd watch some kid getting kicked in the nuts on You-Tube or a cat stuck in a doggie door but you won't watch your favorite show?

I'm guessing it's a way to train people to watch TV on their computer. Then when we are all brain washed they can bring back "Hard Drinkin' Lincoln" and "Queer Duck."

On the computer you can pause, fast forward or rewind the show but you can fuck with the commercial. Luckily there's only one per act break. When I say one, the same one over and over again.

There's only so many times I see that Earl Dittman liked "Stomp the Yard."

I usually turn down the volume of I even look away from the computer.

In conclusion, f TIVO and no Robert I don't know anyone in casting.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the world of making adult decisions. In the future you might want to actually read about what you are buying before you make a decision. It's not like you just discovered a deep, dark, hidden Tivo secret. So why don't you ditch the Tivo and rent a DVR from your cable provider, where you'll end up spending just as much per month as a 3 year contract with Tivo. Dumbass.