Friday, July 23, 2004

I Heart Alf

Who else is with me? Alf rocks! The gruff yet lovable hand puppet crash-landed into the Tanners' house and wackiness ensued. I love me some Alf. My freshman year I wrote an essay comparing Alf to Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes. My thesis, as it were, was that both Alf and Arnold are attention-craving children, with Alf being the destructive child and Arnold the needy ass-kisser. I didn't even get an F on the paper; I got a "See Me" from the professor. A "See Me!" That's how much Alf rocks!

Remember when Alf got a newspaper route, but couldn't deliver them in public, so he forced the dad, Willie, to do it? "Willie, people need to get their news, their sports, get their Doonesbury," Alf said. "Well,
it's hard to get Doonesbury nowadays, it's too esoteric." (I know, I'm not doing Alf's jokes justice!)  IMDB's memorable quotes page brings back more memories:

Alf: Do I smell bacon?

Willie: No.

Alf: Well, I'd like to.


My brother and I do the best Willie Tanner impressions: "Alf! Mrs. Ochmonek called. Apparently her cat… is… mis…sing!" (HA! I slay me!) And, of course, in 2004, the Year of the Ben Stiller Movies, who can forget Ben's best movie: Permanent Midnight, the hilariously black comedy about a junkie who writes for the ALF sitcom.

For years there was talk about Alf hosting a talk show. There were even commercials where Alf indeed hosted a talk show. Alf appeared on late night talk shows and the puppet just plain tore it up (I credit the quick wit of Alf operator Paul Fusco). And now, finally, on July 7, on TV Land, Alf hosts Alf's Hit Talk Show, with his second banana, Ed McMahon.
This could be the second-greatest show in TV history.

- Media Yenta's Brother



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