Model and Canada's premiere super spy has tragically died. She was very hot and very mysterious. People loved her. Canada's version of the president said in a statement, "She was very hot. Very hot. And loved to model and fight bad guys. But she had to stay in hiding in Canada so she could never come to the United States. Not even for prom, for example."
She is survived by her boyfriend 16-year-old, Eric Schieder, who she loved very much and did lots of sex with. They met at camp. Eric is so very sad about this death. "She was finally going to come and visit me in the States and even meet my friends. Ah, it would have been so cool. Oh, well."
The secret spy's last words were, "Goodbye cruel world. Although I regret not being able to meet Eric's friends and prove to them I am in fact very real, I will always treasure the time I spent with Eric having actual sex with him. Which we did do."
Services have not been set so stop asking.
