From www.Cynopsis.com:

Fox is offering its cancelled series on line - some on a pay-per-view basis, and some free. According to Variety, come Monday you can order up all eight episodes of the busted series Playing it Straight for $9.99 for all eight, or $1.99 per ep. You may recall only 3 episodes of this series made it into primetime. Also available is My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss, thought he final five unseen eps of that series are free to anyone interested.


Great, you can pay $10 for something you didn't even want to watch for free. I wonder if it'll have commercials.

This is a great experiment. The internet needs content. Why not try and make some of your money back? Normally these shows get sold off to third world countries. Now they can be pushed off on one of many reality or new gay cable channels or sold directly to the TV watcher.

I think the draw back to internet TV is you have to give people a reason to go over to their computer and watch something. FOX is saying that you can see a show you might have liked that they won't show on regular TV.

Just doing a shitty perverted cartoon doesn't cut it.

Media Yenta -- Out of retirement to slam Entertainment Weakling.

This week's EW's (pronounced "ew") "Must List" has a curious item. They named the CBS reality show "The Will" as the #2 must thing of the week.

"Scheming friends and family compete for a ranch estate on CBS' reality series. Viewers win; their faith in humanity loses.“

The show premiered this Saturday on CBS. It was the lowest rated show on the network for the week.

Monday the Eye Net canned the show making it one of those prestigious "one aired wonders."

Thursday Entertainment Weakling hits the news stands and puts it at #2.

Other things that were lower on the list: #9 Don Cheadle in 'Hotel Rwanda' - Apparently his performance is better than Javier Bardem in 'The Sea Inside" (#10) but not as good as a reality show.

Normally the snarky EW would take opportunity to publish an article about the decline of reality shows because one show got killed in the ratings - ignoring the fact that the show was put on the least watched night of the week and against a play off football game.

Now they can't. Well...they have flipped flopped on their opinions on performers and shows. They'll print a blurb trashing an actor calling him a loser. But once that said actor gets some heat ...they love him. It's not a magazine covering politics.

It's doesn't need a point of view. But a political mag will have on point of view. Left or right. But entertainment has no sides, so EW has arbitrary opinions.

The "ML" is the weekly ass kiss to publicists. The "Must" means they must give a pay back to a publicist.

Fuck EW. It's just Us Weekly with a better spell check.

Shit, I'll Say it.



Today (9/28/04) the NY Post page 93 Starr report gives the most important ratings report. The guy doesn't write full stories, he writes blurbs. So in a blurb next to other blurbs regarding talk show ratings, he included this gem.

"Life & Style" ranks first in women 18-34 in its timeslot on Ch. 11 (3 a.m.)

Really? Women from the ages 18-34 at 3:00 in New York? Is that the whole island? or just uptown.

You mean the infomercial for hair loss/real eastate get rich plans or the farm report didn't win?

Who's to say winning your timeslot at 3:00 isn't anything to crow about? Well, me.

This is obviously an item put in by a publicist/friend.


Accordign o a source at the show, they have been getting close to 2's at 3 am. Which is better than they are doing at a decent time like 10 AM. Is there a market for the overnight viewer? Is there an overnight viewer?

The Guest Hosts Line Up for the Late Late Show
The first week of the post Craig Kilborn talker brought us a tired and embarrassed looking Drew Carry and a DL HUghley who reminded the audience at every turn that he's black and the rest of world is white and there's a noticable difference.
These guest hosts are supposed to be auditions to replace the tall talker with perfect hair.


Here's a list of the other guest hosts for the Late Late Show on CBS:

Michael Ian Black - boring correspondant from Vh1's I love the 80's is so not funny. In fact no one from the over blown The State is funny. Somehow they continue to fool people and work.
He's bland and smug.

Ana Gasteyer - (Saturday night Live) Very Funny. Very likable. She'll need to stop squinting so she could make eye contact.

Tom Arnold - (Once married Roseanne) Not likable. Always seems to work. Made a deal with the Devil. Might get the job because he's an obvious choice. That's not a bad thing. But most celebs and viewers already don't like him.

Tom Dreesen (Letterman) Been a comic since the dawn of time. Good friends with Letterman, the EP of LLS. He'd be good I think, but no oneknows who he is. He's not proven. It'll be hard to get guests and viewers.

David Allen Grier (In Living Color) Funny. Will he listen to guests or go for the joke? Might be good. Will he moody on the air too?

Ahmad Rashad (Sports guy) Safe choice, not that riviting. By that I mean deadly boring.

Jim Rome (Sports radio) great fan base, two fail sports shows on cable. This guy is a radio god, but can't get a good enough ratings for cable? That's bad. Even McEnroe and Dennis Miller are surviving on cable.

Aisha Tyler (Talk Soup, Friends) She killed a late night comedy franchise on E! That's a bad sign. I think she's very funny. Can she interview? We shall see. It mgiht be interesting to see if she can get ratings.

It seems a lot of these people are on the last leg of their careers. This is it. If they don't get this gig...then it's cabert shows for now on. In fact talk shows seem like a last stop on lots of people's careers.

You would think CBS could get better talent for a late night spot. They seem to be caught with their pants down. No one to replace Craiggers. Maybe they should've given him the money (Although he insits it's not money) that he wanted. At least he worked.

Now that a late night spot opened up, why can't they attract bigger names? Hughley, Greir, Dreesen, Arnold and company are all easy gets. They could possibly be last minute replacements, not full time hosts. If David AG is teh host, then who's going to be the show's last minute replacement guest?

From a fan: OK- so I’ve been getting mildly pissed off at that Graham Norton promo on Comedy Central tonight where he bleats that “Newsweek likes me, they really like me” as though that speech hasn’t been parodied about 90 times.
So I looked up the article, and it’s not really a good review, it just says that what he does might be funny to you if you like gross stuff. I rented his BBC “best of” tape, and it’s awful.

June 28 issue - Graham Norton is a very naughty man. He thinks nothing of whipping a sex toy out of a drawer and offering it to an unsuspecting guest, just for laughs.
He still giggles about the time he found a Webcast of a woman playing "God Save the Queen" on a penny whistle—and she wasn't using her mouth to play it. When he met Dolly Parton a few years ago, she took one look at Norton's flamboyant outfit and remarked: "My grandma had a couch just like that."
To which the openly gay Norton retorted: "Well, probably more people have sat on me." All of which would be hilarious or hideous, depending on your taste.
In Norton's case, it's also shocking, considering that he gets away with all this on English television, where his talk show "Very Graham Norton" has made him the bad boy of Britain.
This week Norton brings his low-rent version of "The Tonight Show" to America, and the timing couldn't be worse.
The show, renamed "The Graham Norton Effect," will tape in New York and broadcast Thursdays on Comedy Central. It will still traffic in the eclectic stew of dishy celebrity chitchat, R-rated show-and-tell and raunchy humor. Will this fly in our post-Janet Jackson universe? Norton himself isn't sure. "It's an odd climate to be launching this in,"
he says. "There's bound to be suits twitching in the wings. They don't want to be causing more trouble."Not that Norton plans to cut his comedy to fit this year's fashions.
He says Comedy Central won't interfere with him—he actually backed out of a deal with NBC when the network started to muck around with his work. Still, Norton knows the danger of being a stranger in a strange land. "Jay Leno was over in London filming our show, and we had this stupid calendar. It was really clean for us—just pictures of dog turds in the snow.
Leno was like, 'God, that's funny, but we could never show that.' But you can see that on the street!" says Norton. "We may hit walls we do not know exist."—Marc Peyser© 2004 Newsweek, Inc.

I Heart Alf

Who else is with me? Alf rocks! The gruff yet lovable hand puppet crash-landed into the Tanners' house and wackiness ensued. I love me some Alf. My freshman year I wrote an essay comparing Alf to Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes. My thesis, as it were, was that both Alf and Arnold are attention-craving children, with Alf being the destructive child and Arnold the needy ass-kisser. I didn't even get an F on the paper; I got a "See Me" from the professor. A "See Me!" That's how much Alf rocks!

Remember when Alf got a newspaper route, but couldn't deliver them in public, so he forced the dad, Willie, to do it? "Willie, people need to get their news, their sports, get their Doonesbury," Alf said. "Well,
it's hard to get Doonesbury nowadays, it's too esoteric." (I know, I'm not doing Alf's jokes justice!)  IMDB's memorable quotes page brings back more memories:

Alf: Do I smell bacon?

Willie: No.

Alf: Well, I'd like to.

My brother and I do the best Willie Tanner impressions: "Alf! Mrs. Ochmonek called. Apparently her cat… is… mis…sing!" (HA! I slay me!) And, of course, in 2004, the Year of the Ben Stiller Movies, who can forget Ben's best movie: Permanent Midnight, the hilariously black comedy about a junkie who writes for the ALF sitcom.

For years there was talk about Alf hosting a talk show. There were even commercials where Alf indeed hosted a talk show. Alf appeared on late night talk shows and the puppet just plain tore it up (I credit the quick wit of Alf operator Paul Fusco). And now, finally, on July 7, on TV Land, Alf hosts Alf's Hit Talk Show, with his second banana, Ed McMahon.
This could be the second-greatest show in TV history.

- Media Yenta's Brother

LA Times finally finds the hottest show in LA

To get tickets on line go to johnnyfayva.com/belowthebelt

From the LA Times:
Copyright 2004 The Times Mirror Company; Los Angeles TimesAll Rights Reserved Los Angeles Times
July 22, 2004 Thursday Home EditionSECTION: CALENDAR WEEKEND; Calendar Desk; 

 THE ALTERNATIVES; A modern man of leisure; Wisecracks, whips and back flips: They're all in Johnny Fayva's revue.
BYLINE: Leslie Gornstein, Special to The Times

A leisure suit clinging to his generous behind, pinkie rings gleaming, Johnny Fayva, the self-described champion of the old-school variety show, just wants to do it for the kids.Every few weeks, the swingingly single Fayva co-produces and hosts a comedy-musical revue that combines Borscht Belt camp with modern twists.

After the house lights come back up, Fayva reverts to his mild-mannered real self: Russell Steinberg, a New York-born actor married to Tatiana von Furstenberg, daughter of fashion designer Diane. He's also the father of a 4-year-old daughter.

Since the show's introduction two years ago, Steinberg's character has attracted a growing fan base of anti-clubbers eager for alternatives to throbbing DJ riffs, self-important rock bands, iffy stand-up comedians and other hazards of L.A.'s live-entertainment labyrinth.A typical show? Start with a fan dancer here, a baton twirler there, a yo-yo champ from some South American country. Throw in some new-school stuff -- say, a sexy modern number by a foxy skirt like Kelly Osbourne.

Bookmark the whole beautiful shebang with one or two sweaty cover performances by the man himself. And you get a night that's -- well, as Fayva might say -- Boom. Gorgeous.Steinberg prefers to be interviewed as Fayva, the Catskills vernacular rolling off his silver tongue."I'm influenced by everything from Allan Sherman and Mickey Katz -- old Jewish comics -- to the more obvious masters, like Mr. Tony Bennett, Mr. Frank Sinatra," Fayva says over the phone. "I also like the rock 'n' roll, you know? The Ozzy Osbourne, the David Lee Roth -- whatever the kids are listening to today. "

His other line clicks in."Hold on, honey, that's Taryn Manning," Fayva says. "I'm trying to get her to sing on my show."Alas, the "Cold Mountain" actress was calling with bad news. "Oy, she canceled on me," Fayva growls. "Now you're gonna see me hustle."(Within hours, Fayva would rope in Kelly Osbourne.

The following night, Fayva and the baby-faced heavy-metal heiress belted out an over-the-top rendition of Bonnie Tyler's 1980s power ballad "Total Eclipse of the Heart.")Fayva likes to begin and end each show by singing lounge-style covers of current pop tunes. Fayva's finale tends to involve stripping down to pasties, thong, socks, garters, gold chains and very little else, all while blasting out a teen anthem.

His latest sign-off performance? Reinterpreting Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful," followed by a full back flip in his black socks."He's quite unexpectedly nimble," marvels Valerie Michaels, a Hollywood publicist who frequents Fayva's shows. "Like a cat landing on his feet."The modern origins of Fayva's shtick date back to the grand opening of the Standard Hotel in downtown L.A. two years ago.

Organizers booked Fayva to do a set in the lobby, while celebrity guests such as Tobey Maguire milled about. Soon afterward, Fayva was invited to perform a few gigs with Camp Freddy, an all-star rock band fronted by Donovan Leitch and Dave Navarro. Fayva went on to play other gigs, , eventually moving his show to the Argyle Hotel on the Sunset Strip.

Fayva's fans skew a bit older than the typical 11 p.m. crowd over at the Spider Club or Concorde. Sporting the telling bright-red lipstick of the Silver Lake set, the women in the audience seem less interested in being seen than in seeing their friends, or whatever kooky thing Fayva's up to onstage.

Fayva fans also seem to keep the cellphone shenanigans to a minimum.Fayva has found favor among a slew of celebrities, sitting in on live performances with other bands and getting his photo taken at events with Carmen Electra, supermodel Rachel Hunter, Guns N' Roses musician Slash and others.

Starting Tuesday, Fayva plans to move his variety act to flamenco and sangria joint El Cid.

The rich interior and too-cool Silver Lake locale attracted Fayva instantly."It's red inside. All red," he says. "Red's sexy."Tagging along with him will be his ever-shifting stable of oddities, including Kristen Andreotti, lovely assistant to Brian Chic, whose business cards bill him as a "bullwhip artist."

For several minutes during every show, Chic, primly dressed in business attire, appears to whip the leggy Andreotti while '60s-style tropical lounge music burbles in the background. It's a stunt act; Chic is a bullwhip master whose lashes only sound as if they draw blood.Andreotti -- a professional fetish model, fantasy wrestler, go-go dancer and construction worker -- says Fayva never auditioned the partners before hiring them. Fayva heard about the performers through another of his acts, a magician who goes by the name Christopher Wonder, and that was good enough."

The acts are all old school; different, like Elvis meets 'The Full Monty' meets I-don't-even-know," Andreotti says. "
And the audience is bizarre and trippy in its own right."As Fayva might say, it's just a gorgeous thing.*

Johnny Fayva
What: A kitschy-cool Borscht Belt-style lounge act with guest performers ranging from fan dancers to baton twirlers
Where: El Cid, 4212 Sunset Blvd., Silver LakeWhen: 9:30 p.m. TuesdayPrice: $10Contact: (323) 668-0318;
show contact (323) 653-4361
 www.johnnyfayva.com/belowthebelt

Pop Will Eat Itself Dept.*
Q Ratings be damned, who's the S.O.B. green-lightingtalk shows with athletes as hosts?

Those expecting "McEnroe," MSNBC's new talk show, to
be as bad as "The Magic Hour" will be disappointed. While the show is indeed dreadful,
it's just nottrain-wreck awful (hint: it's dull). The set's thebest part.

There's wacky shit spewed all over it, likea pinball machine and a black piano (meant for themaiden guest, Sir Elton John).

Why "McEnroe" will go down in the pop-cult historybooks has to do with its opening credits. John walksthe nighttime streets of NYC like a native, doing NYC things.  (The show is actually shot in the right to work state of NJ, avoiding those unions.) It ends with John getting an actual tattoo parlor, a first for a live-action show. I say"live-action" because cartoon anchorman Kent Brockman already got a tat in the opening montage of "Eye onSpringfield," a phony newsmagazine show featured on"The Simpsons."

That's right, Mac, Simpsons did it.*

 In other news, Imdb.com reported a sequel is already lined up for "I, Robot," with the unfortunate title "I, Robot II." It's not the worst sequel title ever --"More American Graffiti," "Breakin' 2: ElectricBoogaloo," and "Zapped Again!" come to mind -- butsince "I, Robot II" features three "I"s, why not cutyour losses and call the sequel, "II, Robot"?

- Media Yenta's Brother

Note From the yenta:

John McEn-NO is terrible idea gone wrong. It's a train wreck (no offense to train wrecks). Who says we want another late night talk show rip off? Johnny Mac is a known trouble maker and passionate debater. Have on more sports guys, political guys, make a show that would fit JM, not make him fit a show.

How does this happen?

Well it's called the "Wheel of Shows." When you are a falling or rising star you walk into a network office and they rent the wheel. (It is considered rude, for the network not to suply the wheel or coffee.) On the wheel are different genres of talk shows. No matter what you are known for you must pickt ehshow that comes up on the wheel.

There's:
Late night talk
political talk
four women just sitting around chatting
four men just sitting around talking
cooking chat show
self help show
daytime one hour topic
psychic talk show

 
The last one is very tricky and most people don't want to get it. Tony Danza originally got the psychic talk show, but they gave it up after he kept telling people, "You will have zitti for dinner." 

Well the great tennis star's wheel landed on Late night talk show, even though it's on at 9 PM and on a network for finacial news. 
Durring the day, CNBC is very popular with all business people around the country putting the channel on the background with the ticker tape running. So why not use that time to advertise a late night show that those veiwers will want  and need to see? You come home from a long day at work, pull out an Amstell Light and check out Johnny Mac yell at someone.

Look what I just found on myway.com!

Michael Moore takes title without asking. The AP reports that Ray Bradbury is furious at Moore for tainting his book with his movie.

Although as an Artist, Michael should be ashamed of himself to steal from another. I'm not surprised that he's that self centered. People have often written about his arrogance and hypocrisy. There's even a website IhateMichaelMoore.com. But there must one of those about everyone.

I don't thinks the stolen title will confuse people or ruin the book.

I love the fact that no one returned Bradbury calls for six months. Then Michael calls personally, after it's too late.


Moore Film Title Angers Author Bradbury

Jun 19, 5:52 AM (ET)

By PAUL CHAVEZ
LOS ANGELES (AP) - Ray Bradbury is demanding an apology from filmmaker Michael Moore for lifting the title from his classic science-fiction novel "Fahrenheit 451" without permission and wants the new documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11" to be renamed.
"He didn't ask my permission," Bradbury, 83, told The Associated Press on Friday. "That's not his novel, that's not his title, so he shouldn't have done it."
The 1953 novel, widely considered Bradbury's masterpiece, portrays an ugly futuristic society in which firemen burn homes and libraries in order to destroy the books inside and keep people from thinking independently.
"Fahrenheit 451" takes its title from the temperature at which books burn. Moore has called "Fahrenheit 9/11" the "temperature at which freedom burns."
His film, which won top honors in May at the Cannes Film Festival, charges that the Bush administration acted ineptly before the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, then played on the public's fear of future terrorism to gain support for the war against Iraq. It opens nationwide next Friday.
Bradbury, who hadn't seen the movie, said he called Moore's company six months ago to protest and was promised Moore would call back.
He finally got that call last Saturday, Bradbury said, adding Moore told him he was "embarrassed."
"He suddenly realized he's let too much time go by," the author said by phone from his home in Los Angeles' Cheviot Hills section.
Joanne Doroshow, a spokeswoman for "Fahrenheit 9/11," said the film's makers have "the utmost respect for Ray Bradbury."
"Mr. Bradbury's work has been an inspiration to all of us involved in this film, but when you watch this film you will see the fact that the title reflects the facts that the movie explores, the very real life events before, around and after 9-11," she said.
Bradbury, who is a registered political independent, said he would rather avoid litigation and is "hoping to settle this as two gentlemen, if he'll shake hands with me and give me back my book and title."
Moore's film needed new distributors after Disney refused to let its Miramax subsidiary release it, claiming it was too politically charged. The documentary was later bought by Miramax bosses Harvey and Bob Weinstein, who lined up Lions Gate and IFC Films to help distribute it.
The movie's distributors are appealing to lower its R rating to PG-13 and a screening has been set for Tuesday by the Motion Picture Association of America's appeals board.
Bradbury's book was made into a 1966 movie directed by Francois Truffaut. A new edition of the book is scheduled for release in eight weeks, Bradbury said, and plans are in the works for a new film version, to be directed by Frank Darabont.

From Variety:
LIBERALS LINING UP FOR 'FAHRENHEIT'
MoveOn wants Moore seats filled for docu
In an effort that could goose box office for Michael Moore's controversial doc, liberal activist group MoveOn PAC has announced plans to pack "Fahrenheit 9/11" shows on opening night.

Who do you think is going anyway. You can't take credit for something that's going to happen anyway. Liberals will got see this movie on the first night. They don't need MoveOn to tell them.

Not since my brother had the Batman symbol cut into his head has there been such convincing hype for a film.

Thanks to MoveOn I'll have to wait in a longer line of people eating soy and drinking Fiji water.

I hope people don't yell at the screen like in "Super Size Me." It was like "Rocky Horror Picture Show," but no one had seem the movie before.

They all read so much hype on the movie and waited so long to see it, that they couldn't contain themselves. They cheered when the title card came up.

People laughed at things that weren't jokes. One guy laughed when someone got into a car. No one joined in. He trailed off in embarrassment. "HAHAhahahaha....

At the end of the film, it said that 6 weeks after the movie premiered at Sundance, MCD took out Super Sizing. The audience cheered like they were in the rally scene of the warriors. Then it said that MCD was doing healthy Happy meals. They all laughed. "How dumb!" What? It's the same thing.

I was just afraid, being the heaviest person in the theater, someone was gonna stand up and yell, "GET HIM!" Then be chased by pitch forks and torches to my car.

Reaching to the Choir

From travelling religous road-shows to Battlefield Earth, shilling to the service is nothing new. Part of Passion of the Christ's $370 million domestic gross came from "grass roots" marketing aimed at repeat viewings from church groups.

Now these groups can pay more. According to the AP wire, Sam's Club will offer 50-DVD "penance packs" of Passion of the Christ for $898. That's just $17.96 a Passion pop. Get your customized INSERT YOUR CHURCH'S NAME HERE video slipcases, then sell it back to the choir at $30 even.

Secular movies aimed at the "grass roots" market could also benefit with a 50-pack and customized slipcases. Yes, we're talking to you, Fahrenheit 9/11 and Day Without a Mexican.

- Media Yenta's Brother

Some new Laws have been passed in Hollywood.

1) You cannot call yourself an actress/model is you have never acted or modeled.

2) If you make definate plans with someone, you don't have to keep them if something better comes up.

3) If you are a waiter and your customer is in anyway related to the Show biz industry, you are required to give them your script or reel. This rule now includes people that are security and catering for a movie studio.

4) If your movie career fails, you get a sitcom deal automatically. If that sitcom fails, you get a talk show.

5) no more than 5 reality camera crews are allowed in a coffee shop at one time. Unless they serve mocha.

6) Seeing Erica Estradda at an audition is now considered a "celebrity sighting."

7) If you want a cup of coffee in Silver Lake, you must have "Von Dutch" some where on your person.

8) If you saw and enjoyed "Something's Gotta Give," you are wtill allowed to make judgements on films.

Last year's Matrix sequels opened a Pandora's box of crass synergistic tie-ins with the simultaneous release of TheAnimatrix. The straight-to-DVD comp ofanime shorts awkwardly complemented themovies with long backstory expositions andquestionable character introductions. Since
producers had the time between flicks, itgave animation's finest the time to sculpt somewhat decent entertainment.

Screw entertainment, something clicked withThe Animatrix that had nothing to dowith entertainment. Now three major summerreleases come with their own DVD toons. TheShrek DVD comes with Shrek 3-D,
fifteen bonus minutes of new content. TheChronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury, a standalone DVD release, features titularstar and veteran VO talent (Iron Giant)Vin Diesel. Van Helsing: The London Assignment is the animated prequelstarring the voice of Hugh Jackman (although
everyone knows VH sucks without David Lee Rothor Sammy Hagar). While these cartoon adventures take food out of Saturday morning cartoon
executives' mouths, it does broadenthe "myths" of the franchise-ready characters.

While I haven't succumbed and grabbed thesefrom Best Buy's impulse aisle, I think theymight be better than the Star Wars
Holiday Special. Marginally.

Why stop there? Here's a few suggestions for summer toon tie-ins:

Collateral Comics. Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx's likenesses return in this space-age sequel. The moody hit man, the gregarious taxi hack, and their talking dog Gulp accidentally fall into a spaceship and get sent to the Dark Side of the Moon, where it's always night. Jay Thomas (Cruise) and Nancy Cartwright (Foxx) provide voices.

Harold and Kumar Go to In-N-Out. West Coast prequel.

Today: The Day Before Tomorrow. Actually a comp of old Captain Planet episodes. Voice talent includes Jake Gyllenhaal's chest.

Brown Bunny Babies. Starring Vincent Gallo's prepubescent trouser snake.

Got a better one? Send it to comments. Winner gets photo of Jake Gyllenhaal.

- Media Yenta's Brother